TIFU by jerking my stick to chicks with dicks.

Submitted by ohnowhatihaved t3_z0cxgn in tifu

Unlike a lot of other people on here, I'm not going to try to make excuses for myself. Yes, I am attracted to women with cocks, and it's something that I'm deeply ashamed of, and have not told anyone about (obviously.) Anyways, I have a really wonderful girlfriend, who I love very much. The problem is, even though we have sex about twice a week, I'm a pretty horny dude with needs, so I usually end up jerking off every other day. My girlfriend up until yesterday had no idea that this was what I was doing, and I chalked up the sweat stains on the couch, bed, and gaming hair to me just being very sweaty.

Anyways, yesterday, my girlfriend decided to go out. Being a horny, red-blooded American, I boot up the computer, and get ready to rumble. Before I get ready for my meat rocket to blast off, I usually check the door, or have some sort of safety precaution, but I stupidly assumed that my girlfriend would come home late, and decided to wank it right there, in the living room, where her just opening the door to the house would have revealed me in my full glory.

Two hours in to my self-pleasure wankfest, I've completely succumbed to my hedonistic, dark, twisted, and perverted desires. I've got on my screen a proper filthy drawing of a woman with a 2 foot long cock orgasming so hard she shoots her jizz straight through a guy's head, causing blood and parts of his brain go flying everywhere. Of course this meant that this was the perfect time for my girlfriend to come in, because life just can't be easy or convenient. Imagine coming home to see your mild-mannered, well-tempered boyfriend, with his cock in hand, oiling up his meat-rod to this. It's important to note, that my girlfriend comes from a very conservative country, so even by normal standards, it would raise a few eyebrows, in her country, it's taboo to just look at porn, forget about what I'm looking at. Cue the waterworks, and then her yelling at the top of her lungs to get the fuck out of the house, followed by her hitting me with various items like her hand, a book, and her shoe. I got the fuck out, and although I tried to explain myself various times, I've gotten no reply from her. I seriously hope she can look past this, or at least not tell anybody what I saw. Currently, I want to die from embarrassment, and I'm sharing this story with internet strangers in the vain hope that some of you can empathize with my situation.

TL;DR: jerked off to futa porn, girlfriend saw, girlfriend mad, me sad.

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Logical_Ad_1383 t1_ix4vft3 wrote

Stop staining the furniture that's gross

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ohnowhatihaved OP t1_ix4xqlp wrote

It's involuntary, I can't control my sweat, but you're totally right, I'll wank it in the bathtub or something next time. I replace the bedsheets, but with the couch and chair, I have no excuse. I only used each of them twice to wank though, so it's not like a regular occurrence or anything.

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Logical_Ad_1383 t1_ix52fw9 wrote

Most people confine their wank sessions to the bedroom furniture or the bathroom. Or if they must use the living room they put something down first. If you live with people though you shouldn't be in community spaces what you gonna do if your gf walks in with someone

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swordbaby t1_ix4u15x wrote

yeahhhhh, if my man liked futa i wouldnt be bothered, but futa gore porn? i'd probably be disturbed too

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ohnowhatihaved OP t1_ix4y1k4 wrote

I didn't actively search for it, it's just that one click lead to another, and another, and then I reached, well.... that.

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typehyDro t1_ix52bcz wrote

Jerks it for TWO hours… wtf

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eidhrmuzz t1_ix5fb11 wrote

Yes. I’m more concerned by their chafing.

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GLDFLCN t1_ix7evci wrote

Right, I was like wtf lol op says it so casually

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thinkwithyourdipstik t1_ix53odm wrote

2 things, 1, always be honest with your significant other, my girlfriend knows how often I do the business, she knows I'm a complete horn toad, 2, no comment on any of the rest of the story lol sorry bruh

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commiedestroyer420 t1_ix5g6yx wrote

Am i the only one who doesn’t really think it’s a big deal? My ex was into this kinda stuff, we broke up bc of different reasons bc I didn’t give af. Like… it’s a chic with a dick, you’re most likely bisexual… big deal

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swordbaby t1_ix8bz5e wrote

I don't think the chick with a dick was the main source of the issue, given it was a drawing of someone cumming with so much force that it shot a hole through a mans head, with all the gore possible depicted. My partner jerking off to futa? Absolutely fine with me. My partner jerking off to gore porn? Not cool with that one.

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ExtremePast t1_ix9esql wrote

What kind of loser jerks for two hours? Oh right this is reddit fiction.

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misaka-8888 t1_ix58uua wrote

Love futa porn is not a crime man. Have an open conversation with your partner.

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oredaze t1_ixh4ix1 wrote

Not to be insensitive, but this shit was pretty funny.

Also you are gross, staining the house. do it in a cleaner way.
Futa porn is all good, but gore... not so much.

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OceanSupernova t1_ix4xwcy wrote

Sometimes porn gets weird, it happens to the best of us. One risky click leads to another and then you're most of the way there and there's no going back now. You blow a load and you're left embarrassed and slightly disturbed by what you just watched and the post nut clarity hits you like a freight train.

If you and your partner do end up talking about this just be honest, it's not like you searched monster cock implodes persons head. Admit you fucked up and stuff got weird and also reassure her that you will stop yanking it in the living room unless you're useing the big tv.

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SDMunkee t1_ix72gfg wrote

I can empathize, but I don't think you should continue this relationship. She sounds like there's very little room for interpretation as to what's right and wrong in her book. You have desires that are only going to grow in time. See where I'm going with this? If you're to pick up what you need, you can't do it holding on to something you don't.

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poptix t1_ix7ccv3 wrote

Don't kink* shame, particularly yourself.

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