It’s unclear if it was an accident or intentional…

This was self harm. That's why they keep mentioning they did it after losing a friend.

I’d say intentional, but I wasn’t thinking clearly because I was so blinded with rage. Never doing that again

OP, are you seeing anyone for your mental health?

I did see a counseler and we’ve been working on ways to make sure that I never make mistakes like that again. To be fair, I’ve had a pretty rough year and I do have anger issues from time to time, but that fuck up with the knife was a waking call for me to work on improving my emotional and mental well-being to prevent shit like this from ever happening again. I wasn’t suicidal, I just had a pretty short explosive fuse and it has led to previous fuck ups I regret. Now I’m cautious about even giving into my anger and I dread getting super pissed because that’s when I become the most reckless

I'm glad to hear you are talking to someone and working on yourself. Keep it up! You are worth it!

Thank you for your support. Hopefully my injury heals up sooner rather than later but the progress is frustratingly slow and I’m seriously afraid I’ll eventually end up with a permanent scar, even if the damage is otherwise fully healed funcionally

Hey OP, it sounds like life is really tough for you right now. I'm really sorry. I've been there before and, at the risk of oversharing, I hope you might spend a few moments indulging a random stranger's personal details that are being offered to illustrate a point:

Shortly before my 21st birthday, I found out my dad had terminal cancer, I got into a horrible fight with my girlfriend at the time (cops showed up. no charges, arrest, or jail time, but still), and I lost my shit and ended a longtime, close friendship.That was 20+ years ago.

I still remember feeling, at those moments, how much I wanted to disappear. Not necessarily die, but at least disappear. Go where no one knew me. Start over. It took a while to come to terms with that feeling. Life didn't allow for it.

One day after the other, I eventually made peace with my dad's death (I still miss him every day), made amends with my old girlfriend and friend, and, most importantly, made peace with myself.

I don't know if cutting yourself was genuinely an accident or not. My point is that you cannot make the changes you wish you could have made if you are physically hurting yourself. I do, however, get why you want to go back and change everything. As I'm sure you, you cannot change the past. And as hokey as it sounds, the future CAN be changed but that requires you being present to make it happen.

Please take care of yourself.

(Edited to fix my shitty typos.)

Thanks for your support. At least I know never to do something like that again. That’s a mistake I’ve learned from and a wake up call to work on my anger issues

Maybe add a tw

OP I hope you’re doing okay, mentally. I know life is rough, especially around the holidays, but you’re gonna make it ❤️ I hope you have somebody you can talk to and maybe get some of those emotions out in a more healthy way.

And remember, it won’t be forever! I know progress on your injury seems slow, but it’ll be no time before you can return to your previous level of activity. It sounds like it will probably scar, though, and I’m sorry for that. If you ever need somebody to talk to you can reach out to me, I know that means little from a stranger but everyone needs someone. Please don’t hurt yourself. Stay safe

I don’t think you have to worry about me hurting myself again. That incident was a wake up call to work on improving my mental health and not make mistakes like that again

I’m glad to hear that. I’ve known several friends that had hurt themself often and almost accidentally killed theirselves several times. Hopefully you can find someone that can help you get through this rough patch in your life.

Also, I’m sorry about your friend. I’ve had the same thing happen to me and it’s so hard to recover from, socially and mentally. I’m still working through mental issues from it and it’s almost been ten years. I wish I had better tips to help you, but my coping mechanisms have pretty much all been unhealthy

How the f*ck did you come to the conclusion that slitting your arm open and almost bleeding to death would help in any way in any situation?! I don't understand what the two things have to do with eachother? In my mind it's like you're having a bad day maybe (2/10) then you decide to make it a (-1000000/10) cause you don't like a 2/10

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I'm just gonna say I have an almost identical experience with a chefs knife. To a T. I'm glad you are still here, it gives me some hope for myself.