TIFU by making a pregnant woman lose her lunch in my ambulance

Submitted by Ok_Interview_1739 t3_z5d6ep in tifu

Hey, so this happened a little over a year ago, but a co-worker brought it up today and this story needs to be shared for "educational purposes."

I'm a paramedic and, at the time, I was a little over 6 years into my career in EMS. This shift started off like any other. I got up, drove to work, got ready for my shift, and checked out my ambulance. The only thing that made this shift a little different was that I actually brought a lunch to work. I live in Illinois and we are lucky enough to have been blessed with the incredible delicacy, commonly known as, White Castle. The night before, my girlfriend and I, decided to indulge ourselves and visit this exquisite dining facility for some tasty sliders.

After we finish eating, we realized that we may have bought too many, but it was fine because I would just take them to work the next day. So, lunch time comes around and I eagerly make my way to the kitchen to heat up my little square guilty pleasures. I scarffed them down and all was right in the world.

About an hour later, we get a call. 35 year old female with abdominal pain. We rush to the scene and found our patient sitting on a chair on her front porch. She told us that she was about 13 weeks pregnant and she has been experiencing a cramping like feeling in her stomach to the point its making her nauseous. We asked our questions, took some vitals, did our assessment, and got her into the ambulance.

I was sitting on the bench seat next to her, trying to keep her calm while I get an IV going. I'm just about to poke her when I started to get, what could only be described as, the bubble guts. I tried my best to keep my composure while feeling like my stomach is trying to twist and shred it's self to pieces. I got the IV and I was explaining that we were going to be giving her meds to help with the nausea. It start to draw up the meds when it happens... I could feel the pneumatic pressure building and bubbling in my intestines. I tighten my butthole as hard as I can as it was my last line of defense. As hard as I tried to hold it back, the infamous Illinois potholes would seem to be my downfall. As we hit the pothole, I felt it happen. Much like Hodor in Game of Thrones, I was not able stop the evil that was unleashed into the world.

Fortunately, it was a "silent but deadly" one. Unfortunately, it emphasized on the "deadly" part.

I try to play it cool and continue making small talk with this nice lady. I give her the meds and tell her that they might take a minute to start working. Apparently, a minute was too long. She began to complain of this horrific smell and severe nausea. I thought that it might have just been fom the outside, but then it hit me.

Side note, did you know that when a person is pregnant, they can experience heightened senses? Well now you do.

This fart was by far one of the most racid smells to have ever been produced. It smelled like a mix of rotting food being severed next to a tire fire and your parents disappointed. The pt began to gag and dry heave. I did my best to reach and grab a basin in time, but... thats not what ended up happening.

My patient projectile vomited onto the wall of my ambulance. She began to apologize but I just told her "Dont worry about it. Shit happens." After puking up her guts, she said she was actually starting to feel a little better. After that, we got to the hospital, cleaned up the ambulance, and that was that.

TLDR: My rancid fart caused a pregnant woman to re-enact the exorcist all over my ambulance.

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Comments

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unipride t1_ixvgrwd wrote

This is hysterical.

Yes pregnancy side effects- it is believed that the increase smelling ability is linked to being cautious of spoilage with food.

Plus if your patient was suffering from hyperemesis gravidaramum, that is a significant problem and definitely past the normal “morning sickness” that is often (like most female related conditions) minimized. But HG will put women in the hospital.

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OkVolume1 t1_ixvk49r wrote

The bigger FU is you flexing that can you can afford White Castle in this economy. You can't hide money in Illinois.

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Enter_My_Fryhole t1_ixwirap wrote

She said she was feeling better, so congrats you did it Dr. Fart

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Enter_My_Fryhole t1_ixwkdpu wrote

Replying to smearing (#695,188)

I was making a terrible joke, forgot about that bit. It's so funny cause I was looking the time when you replied and it was 420 seconds ago which actually significant in the scriptures representing lost spuld and found references, so clearly our 2 comments were fated to interact. Bless you

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dragonfeet1 t1_ixxpdsl wrote

Next time, I mean, all toxic swamp ass aside, remember rubbing alcohol. In the olden days the nurses used to take alcohol prep pads and sniff them when they had morning sickness to relieve the nausea. You think it sounds insane...until you try it.

It might have saved a stretcher in your case!

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zorggalacticus t1_ixy0zmr wrote

Replying to unipride (#689,812)

I have this problem all the time. I'm a super smeller/taster. I usually smell things long before others can. Sucks when it's things you really don't want to smell. I can't imagine already being nauseous and having to super smell a raunchy fart. Lol

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RosebushRaven t1_ixzi8ie wrote

Replying to dragonfeet1 (#701,350)

Or sniff tooth paste with menthol taste. I swore by that when I had recurrent gastritis. Less effective against pregnancy sickness, but it did help. My mom says green apples freshly out of the fridge help too for some reason. Apparently that’s from Ukrainian folk medicine, something a travnica, an (often elderly) woman who knows about traditional herbal medicine, would recommend.

Never tried the latter though, I forgot about it. Nor did she remind me. But then I doubt a mere apple in the morning would’ve done anything. I was nauseous 24/7, not just in the morning.

And whether I knew pregnant women often have heightened senses, OP? Well… yeaaaah I’d say I do: I already have a congenitally quite heightened sense of smell (and other senses) in general. Like milk smelling sour for me, days before other people agree it’s spoiled, smelling mold instantly when opening the fridge before I even have an idea what may be moldy (and then after a thorough search it’s a tiny speck on some random raspberry or something like that), smelling even tiny bits of mold mycel in bread that are only visible under the microscope (yes, I’ve broken the bread to crumbs and inspected it meticulously on occasion, you couldn’t see any mold with the unarmed eye, but the distinct smell was definitely there). Now picture that, but increased by order of magnitude!

While I was pregnant I felt like I became dogwoman suddenly! Some bread — cheap industrial bread that even for me had a rather faint smell previously, and was mold-free, mind you — I could smell 15ft away in its original package with an intensity as if it was stuffed right into my nose. My BF had to buy half a dozen different liquid soaps because the horrid chemical smells kept nauseating me. Toilet visits were literal olfactory torture (pregnancy is when you realise you can actually torture people with nasty smells)… And don’t even get me started on the smell of vomit. Imagine cycle-vomiting because the smell of your own vomit makes you throw up again and again and again in a loop, even though you’d barely been eating due to the constant sickness and think your stomach should be thoroughly empty by now… so you can dry heave for another hour, yaaaay!

Nevermind an extreme unprecedented sensitivity to the smell of mold (as I said, I used to be sensitive to it, probably due to asthma and allergy, but not that sensitive) which I always hated and made me even more sick than those darn soaps (that smelled like an entire cheap toilet spray ingredient factory) and almost as bad as the loop-puking. Such a rancid fart would’ve definitely made me projectile vomit as well. In a split-second, so probably all over you, OP, rather than the wall, unless you’re a fast jumper.

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