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skeptic_slothtopus t1_iy9i6dk wrote

Please tell a trusted adult. You are too young to handle this situation on your own and it is not your fault. He is preying on your youth and naivete. You need to tell the whole story, that he knew who your mom was without you telling him, that you think the beach incident was planned. Please protect yourself OP

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stackjr t1_iy9raqv wrote

This! Even if OP was 17, he is too old. This guy is a predator.

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Marrsvolta t1_iy9u05l wrote

No 26 year old, especially one who has a child and was married in the past, should be getting 17 year old girls numbers. What a creep. You should tell your mom.

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[deleted] OP t1_iyafyw4 wrote

But it's okay if she was 18 right?

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Unique_Bee2233 t1_iyatp67 wrote

Legally yes, but honestly that's gross. The difference between those ages is significant.

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[deleted] OP t1_iyc1e42 wrote

That's funny because I'm 18 and no one would see anything wrong with it even tho I am just 1 year older

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aussie_nub t1_iyamvit wrote

That's what I don't get. If he was 50 and she was 18. Sure no problem. 17 and 26 and it's a massive problem.

26 and 17 isn't as far apart as people pretend. 17 is basically 18 and at the bottom end of the immature young adult that's still learning the world... which lasts for most people until 24/25. He should be in a different phase of his life but some people are slightly older when they normally come out of that....

Except he's divorced and has a kid. He's well and truly past that point. That makes it a bit gross. It'd still be a bit weird even if she was 21 and not properly matured.

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lionhearted_sparrow t1_iyb95ux wrote

No. They have to draw a line somewhere to decide people are old enough to make the decision for themselves. That doesn't mean it isn't creepy for them to be with someone with a huge age difference. It just means that by that age, we hope that they will know that themselves and not need an adultier-adult to intervene. Sadly, that's still not always the case.

There's a huge distinction between "this is the age where you can sleep with any age and it isn't gross" and "this is the age where we think your brain is developed enough to start making this decision for yourself."

It's not "age for sex" it's "age of consent."

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aussie_nub t1_iybighc wrote

Ok then, why is someone that's 16 allowed to have sex with someone 18 but not 19 (at least where I am)? I understand there's a line that needs to be drawn in the sand, and that's a legal requirement, but people are talking about a moral one when they use words like "gross".

I stand by what I said. Mentally 17 year olds and 18 year olds aren't far apart, so either it's life stages that are the problem (which is valid, since they're clearly in different parts of their lives... but so are 50 year olds with 30 year olds) or it's just the numerical distance of the large gap.

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lionhearted_sparrow t1_iycxscz wrote

Life stages are drastically different at shorter age distances the younger you go.

Developmentally, four months age difference in infants is a huge amount. The difference between someone in highschool and a nineteen year old is also huge. The amount of time that makes a difference gets larger as you get older.

But also you missed my point: it is in appropriate for someone in their 50s to pursue a teenager, no matter what side of legality they fall on, because there is an inherent power imbalance due to the experience differential that there is no way to overcome. That means that you can never actually be sure that it is consensual for the teenager (I can’t think of a single reason it would be), which makes it not okay, morally. Legally enforcing the nuance involved post-eighteen would be a nightmare, so instead we trust adults to self govern at that point. To make their own decisions to not be gross. And we rely on morals to gauge that and only enter consensual relationships.

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aussie_nub t1_iyezjnd wrote

And yet, it happens all the time. Sugar babies are a thing now where women 18-24 pursue men that are much older. 30, 40, 50+.

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[deleted] OP t1_iyc1i9a wrote

I love how so many people disagree with you. I am 18 and I am nowhere close to having the mentality of someone who's somewhat "adult" yet people think I should. Honestly we live in a shit society

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Rosey991 t1_iy9h7vj wrote

Hold tf on. What is a 26 year old guy doing with a 17 year old even if you’re not 17 you claimed it

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pogiguy2020 t1_iy9hu1e wrote

If he is a smart man he will keep hands off since it can land him in jail or worse.

You want to know how to keep him from working with your mom? Tell your mom about him. LOL

You are 15 stop trying to be older and enjoy being young.

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kachow3000 t1_iyalgv5 wrote

you NEED to tell a trusted adult IMMEDIATELY

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AtomBubble t1_iyb1e8q wrote

Telling a trusted adult may be difficult and might bring some discomfort but you are putting yourself in great danger by not doing so. Please get help this dude is fucked in the head.

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Disastrous_Potato605 t1_iyb810n wrote

Hey I’ve been in a similar situation, please talk to a trusted adult, doesn’t have to be mom, can talk to ur aunt or friends mom

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Rdpsm t1_iyd1brn wrote

This guy is a dangerous motherfucker, and he has you in his sights. Tell your dad, tell your mom, tell somebody right now before you wake up in the harem of some oil sheikh.

This is a full on Red Alert situation, kiddo. Battle stations!

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Fun-Pea-880 t1_iy9imoa wrote

Maybe honesty is the best answer, and tell him you are 15 and you are not interested in him. What's the worst he can do slut shame you at work? That should get him fired in most jobs in America, if not all.

It's not like you did anything w/ him anyway, based on the post. So you have nothing to feel ashamed about except lying about your age.

Lots of people lie about their age.

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ardentArcane t1_iyb8ofo wrote

  1. tl;dr is usually used before a brief summary of the post

  2. tl;dr you ran into someone who gives MAJOR PEDOPHILE VIBES. even if he does actually think you're 17, it comes across very much as "oh but it was technically legal".

  3. if your mother is a decent parent, tell her. at a bare minimum cut all contact with this guy.

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Brofkingstikc t1_iyb8tl7 wrote

Oh yeah I know the meaning ,is just if I didn’t put that 4 letters they were going to remove my post and I was tired of typing 😩😩😩😩

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