Put plainly-- you're 19 and unfortunately, us guys can have varying degrees of maturity issues and you're now having to confront yours. This stuff happens and it's not just you-- but it's up to you to make changes and learn how to develop into a man. Recognizing the difference between acting like a boy vs a man is ultimately your main FU, but you'll get there depending on how much struggle you want to deal with in the meantime.

A real man figures his feelings out and, while others may provide insight or perspective into a decision, a man makes decisions about his relationships thoughtfully and knowingly. When you've committed to a partnership, it should be between you and that other person; here, you gave away your ownership of that commitment and you followed the "herd" to your detriment.

The hardest thing to comprehend right now is that, in 10-15 years, that same herd likely will not be there. Dont be the follower in your group of boys-- it's a race to develop into being a man, so work on what you need to and develop those skills now instead of ending up a 30-40 year old boy. It's hard, but being ahead of that curve is the key bc those same friends will outgrow you if you don't. The "rules" will change drastically over your next 10 years, so don't get caught falling behind or more things like this will happen.

TLDR: yeah you F'd up-- prioritize growing into a man now, or risk being outgrown.