TIFU by dancing to a tiktok sound.

Submitted by throwawayacc5675 t3_yzghne in tifu

My gf and I were on the phone this morning and they sung a new trending tiktok sound. The sound goes “dance if you gay bruce”. When I danced they told me to stop dancing because the song “isn’t for me” and I’m not allowed to. I’m a girl. I am bi-sexual. I become very confused and asked “how am I not gay when im dating you?”. They explained that bi-sexual people are not apart of the LGBTQ community and you aren’t gay unless you’re strictly into the same gender. I laughed at them and made some sarcastic comments so now they’re and went to sleep so we can’t talk. I’ve always known I was bi-sexual but never accepted it because I was brought up by a strictly Christian family. Is my gf correct?. If so then I feel bad for laughing at them. My gf uses they/them. TL;DR

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fob_eater t1_iwzrz1k wrote

I thought the B in LGBTQ stood for Bi. Is that not the case?

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Bubbly_Queen_Hoe t1_ix14j7x wrote

It does, the gf is just biphobic

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CodeIsWeird t1_ix1t3bm wrote

She's scared of bi people?

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Bubbly_Queen_Hoe t1_ix1wiax wrote

It means that the gf doesn’t see her as equal in the lgbtq+ community because bi people are “straight passing” or “not really a part of the lgbt+”

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CodeIsWeird t1_ix1wvz4 wrote

But a phobia is an irrational fear. Isn't the right phrase "she sees bi as lesser"?

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blueeyedpixxie t1_ix4zwfb wrote

Have you not heard of homophobia?

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CodeIsWeird t1_ix5dcu3 wrote

I have but I thought I was a fear of being gay

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blueeyedpixxie t1_ix5fydz wrote

It's classified as a "fear or dislike of gay people"

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CodeIsWeird t1_ix5rf80 wrote

Okay so I was right

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blueeyedpixxie t1_ix5sdfg wrote

Kind of, but not fully

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DarkBlueBear13 t1_ixjwqlc wrote

Honestly, though, that's always been a pet peeve of mine. Don't call it a phobia if it's just irrational bigotry and hatred. There's no fear in that, surely? Maybe I'm the irrational one, but it feels to me like somebody dropping a skittle and then going "omg I have to pick this up, I am just so OCD."

It's not like something that truly bothers me, but I get where the other guy is coming from. Phobia has generally always meant an irrational fear to me.

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[deleted] t1_ix1x2nj wrote

[removed]

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[deleted] t1_ix1x7ci wrote

[removed]

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xo-katie t1_ix22pyk wrote

Biphobia is an aversion and dislike towards bi people. It's like homophobia – not all homophobes are "scared" of gay people. C'mon dude Google is free.

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Skizzybee t1_ix47x7z wrote

I've think we've determined that the B stands for bacon.

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Capable-Brilliant111 t1_iwzujg5 wrote

The B in LGBTQ+, for sure stands for Bisexual... I don't understand their logic. Gay is a general term used in the community for people, in the community. Also, it's a TT song... The artist of the song just wants exposure. I don't think they care who's dancing to it. But, I suppose your partner is also entitled to their opinions. I just don't think they are right.

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MyLifeisTangled t1_ix0owfh wrote

Hey, fellow bisexual chick here. Your gf is straight up wrong. As others have mentioned, the B in LGBT is for bisexual. We absolutely ARE part of the community. That’s as dumb as saying “if you’re a trans girl who likes men then you’re not LGBT bc you’re not gay.” Homosexuals are not the only people who are LGBT. If you experience same-sex attraction, you are gay. It’s a bit of an umbrella term that includes homosexuals, bisexuals, pansexuals, that kind of thing. You are gay. Bi is LGBT. You can dance all you want. Show your gf this thread and let them see they’re wrong. Then keep dancing

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PotatoOver9759 t1_ix00569 wrote

Bisexuals literally in the LGBT as the B that is one of the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard

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robble808 t1_ix0g2au wrote

Your friends are idiots.

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AcrobaticSource3 t1_iwzwgo0 wrote

Your friends are ridic, but also tiktok trends are stupid

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ka1lu t1_ix0yarh wrote

I'm as confused as you are. I'm straight, however, have experimented.... I even know what LGBTQ stands for....even the IA+. I can't even wrap up my head around them saying that you're not included in it....

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ka1lu t1_ix1eb4v wrote

I can't tell you how much I have thought about this in the past 2 hours , and I'm still.... just so.....dumbfounded.

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HooverMaster t1_ix412zw wrote

That's the secret. Theres no thought behind it so theres nothing to figure out. They're just that dumb

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Kindly-Orange8311 t1_ix1rtuc wrote

Your girlfriend is invalidating you. Classic bi erasure.

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Amaranth_devil t1_ix2t3q0 wrote

Just goes to show how people are full of crap, the "b" is for bisexual. She tried to gatekeep because you apparently aren't "gay enough".

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babyteddie t1_ix3hvvf wrote

Damn guess it’s the LGTQ now

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ellenripleyisanicon t1_ix1xtk8 wrote

Your are absolutely part of the LGBTQIA+ it's literally what the B stands for. Well, done for not letting them erase you, it's such bs xx

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felineferocious t1_ix3naa9 wrote

Find a new partner. Your gf is biphobic. Plenty of people use gay as an umbrella term within the community. You can as well and if your gf has a problem with it then they're the one in the wrong and needs to learn more about their own community and its history. They're supporting pseudo-woke bs. You did not fuck up. You are not the asshole.

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somedaywellfindit t1_ix510d0 wrote

The B 100% stands for bisexual, your girlfriend is a biphobe and I'm so sorry you have to deal with that, OP. You can either take the time and energy to try and educate them (which is not a necessity, because that's no one's job but their own) or you can leave them, because it shows that they don't respect your identity. You are allowed to call yourself gay, if you so choose. If you want to identify with the community, then you are allowed to. It is your identity, your label(s).

I went on a rant, sorry, but tldr; your partner is wrong, on so many levels.

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Ratsquid037 t1_ix2vb9q wrote

All this labeling is stupid anyway, dance to whatever, do whatever with whoever, funny how people who should be open minded are the opposite

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cosmernaut420 t1_ix2w3uo wrote

Weird flex on your girlfriend's part for obvious reasons everyone else has touched on, but gatekeeping queerness for any reason is uber cringe. Especially if you're just doing a bisexual erasure by being an ignorant ass.

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citrusandrosemary t1_ix3nr97 wrote

You're Gf sucks. By her standard, me as a pansexual isn't gay.

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I_Thot_So t1_ix3sk81 wrote

Oh lort. Please dump this toxic gatekeeping trash.

Next time she tries to kiss you, is she going to all of a sudden forget that she said you aren’t gay?

I know you have a lot of shame and identity shit to contend with, so please. DTMFA and go to therapy so you don’t continue to brush off when someone tries to tear you down like that.

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SoiBoi704 t1_ix3uyj1 wrote

Nah you like the same kind of peepee that you have and you're gay.

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Tarrtarus t1_ix45a57 wrote

Never let anyone tell you that you aren't allowed to do a dance, sing a song, watch a movie, etc. because "it isn't for you". Do what makes you happy!

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jayessell t1_ix47iup wrote

Lettuce Guac Bacon Tomato Queso on rye

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Toolongreadanyway t1_ix4b02s wrote

Doesn't bi mean gay and straight? Your gf is an idiot and you didn't FU, she did.

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hellydoosadwee t1_ix4tc9h wrote

You didn't fuck up, your gf did by acting like bi people aren't part of the LGBT community... The hell is the B supposed to stand for then???

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somedaywellfindit t1_ix51bko wrote

Also on a separate note, a lot of people are using the wrong pronouns for OP's girlfriend. Just because a nonbinary person uses traditionally gendered terms (ie, boyfriend or girlfriend) doesn't mean you can use the wrong pronouns. The girlfriend uses they/them. Respect that.

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RenzoARG t1_ixde4i7 wrote

Ask her what the + stands for.

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PBlove t1_ix3yx73 wrote

Well medically bisexual people don't exist, just people with a low disgust response and high sex drive.

Funny enough that was derived from a study where they strapped a ton of devices to different people's genitals and showed them porn.

Long story short the people that self identified as bi were intact statistically gay or straight but without the disgust reaction to the other gender,AND a higher sex drive.

Ie your just horny and not picky.

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hellydoosadwee t1_ix4t4z0 wrote

What

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PBlove t1_ix6dhdv wrote

If you have an academic login I can post the studies.

Its actually interesting because they were VERY hesitant to release the data (sample was only about 100 people) but oddly not as many people want to take the political risk to co firm or refuete the conclusions. (Especially since it showed heterosexual females lacked the same sex response found in all men AND homosexual females. They blamed it on the possible insensitivity of the female junk measuring devices. Or speculated that heterosexual females have a distinctly different and unkniwn genital reaction to sexual excitement)

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