jontheterrible t1_iwf2s0z wrote on November 15, 2022 at 3:51 AM

I'm not looking forward to parenting teens because of these difficult situations but I am pretty certain your mother handled this incorrectly. She could have had a discussion with you and allowed you to explain. It seems like a much better alternative to having sex at your age and I'm surprised she didn't see it that way as well. Sorry you had to go through this. Find a better hiding spot for your next toy.

[deleted] t1_iwfe4zl wrote on November 15, 2022 at 5:34 AM

I'm... not sure what's difficult about this? Why not give proper sex education to your children and admit that they grow up and can have the same wants/needs as other people?

I don't see what's so wrong about a person who's in the middle of discovering their sexuality getting a dildo.

jontheterrible t1_iwfffrc wrote on November 15, 2022 at 5:49 AM

I wasn't necessarily referring to sex education, just dealing with teens, in general, can be difficult regardless of the topic.

[deleted] t1_iwgch2e wrote on November 15, 2022 at 1:03 PM

Sorry for going off on a rant, I completely misunderstood what you meant.

ajm900 t1_iwgtroe wrote on November 15, 2022 at 3:21 PM

It's outside of the mums control, therefore bad

AioliNo1327 t1_iwfxdbw wrote on November 15, 2022 at 9:55 AM

Having had teenagers I would rather they use a vibrator to explore their body than fall pregnant or catch a disease

reallybigleg t1_iwg761j wrote on November 15, 2022 at 12:09 PM

There are a lot of difficult things about parenting teens (I imagine, I don't have kids yet *crosses fingers for kids pre-menopause....*) But I'm not sure this is one of them. Kids often start masturbating as very young children - toddler age, sometimes - and this is a normal thing for them to do. At that age, of course, it's not associated with sex for them, they've just found a body part that feels nice. Any decent parent explains privacy to a young child but does not shame them for being a human being and lets them get on with it.

Once your child has reached puberty, if you don't completely expect that your child is masturbating then I don't know what's wrong with you. Of course they are. If you come across their masturbation aid (regardless if it's a toy or porn) then just put it back where you found it and don't mention it!

jontheterrible t1_iwh6kaj wrote on November 15, 2022 at 4:46 PM

Yep, I don't disagree with you. However, I do have kids and I can tell you that no matter how good your intentions are and how much you'd like to communicate it doesn't always go as planned. They are emotional little people and awkward situations are difficult for them at times...even more so when they're teens. I have at least learned that the more respect you show them and let them make their own decisions (when appropriate) the better your relationship becomes.