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Adragongentleman t1_iwucvoi wrote

"TIFU by being victim of mental abuse" that's not really a fuck up, If you told her that you were into dominatrixes would she just start paying for one full time just for her? If she seriously thougth that that stupid fetish fantasy was some kind of cheating than she's insecure as fuck, which is not a real problem on It's own If It weren't for the fact that she acted to punish you by the way she irrationally feels by making you feel insecure and nervous as well, It is textbook manipulative and toxic of her to do that, i've been trapped in toxic relationships before and your girlfriend sounds like a caricature of every single one of them

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NoNewsAllowed t1_iwufioe wrote

Manipulative is not a word I ever expected to associate with my gf, but her actions recently fits the description perfectly. To be honest, I would've been somewhat more forgiving or understanding towards her reaction if she didn't go as far as to involve my coworker. Not fucking cool.

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processedwhaleoil t1_iwuh4d7 wrote

Agreed with the poster above.

Also, the text she sent yoy was super bitchy, absolutely a power play.

So either she's fucking with you to the extent of abuse, or she actually leaves you for your coworker in a particularly cruel way.

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chadam2 t1_iwujy9r wrote

Dude my crazy ex did that whole “I’ll decide when to see you” type shit granted I knew she was trying to manipulate me the whole time but I’d suggest you run.

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shyllo t1_iwuqsr4 wrote

You gotta detach and do your own thing for a bit. Nothing sassy, bitchy or negative. Just get your own space. Maybe she starts coming back to you maybe not. I would recommend to avoid anything chasing/controlling. Otherwise probably best to let it go.

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PBlove t1_iwut5du wrote

Step back for a second, take calm breaths, your both still young and stupid. You don't understand women yet, she doesn't understand guys yet.

Working yourself into a lather won't help.

Just wait and see what the eventual action is, she could be trying to do something nice for you, and teasing you a bit because she is feeling hurt but knows you did nothing wrong, so wants to punish you without punishing you while doing something nice for you to win more of your affection focus and attention.

If that seems confusing... Yea, girls are confusing until you get to know how they think.

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Otfd t1_iwukfyj wrote

Mental abuse? How do yall even function is this world.

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Adragongentleman t1_iwumrwl wrote

How do you call the action of someone you were supposed to trust and love going behind your back to talk to a coworker to humiliate you and make you feel bad because their expectations of you weren't true? If you see relationships like this and think It's normal i'm really sorry for you because It migth mean you Haven't had a healthy one yet

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Otfd t1_iwupeqp wrote

Seems more like she is just messing with him and he is taking it too deep.

Also, I am in a really healthy relationship. We live together, barely ever fight, and communicate without issue or concerns of each others behavior.

If my girlfriend did this, I would sit down and discuss my issue instead of taking to reddit to get opinions on my relationship from 3 paragraphs worth of insight.

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Adragongentleman t1_iwurpxo wrote

This is not normal dude people that love you shouldn't mess with you in this big of a level, and talking to his coworker is such a wild cross in limits, It is affecting his work life too, It is straigth up humilianting op and honestly from my point of view this is way worse than cheating, It is mopping the floor with op's dignity If she comes on the next day and say "It's just a prank bro" It doesn't change the fact that she made op feel horrible and made his place of work feel unsafe just to get a few laughs out of It, actions have consequences, sometimes even more that we can imagine

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Otfd t1_iwuzv0v wrote

Well she likely doesn't realize and as I said before maybe OP should TALK TO HIS GIRLFRIEND INSTEAD OF REDDIT?

You know how I avoid these situations? I ask my girlfriend to talk and explain how I am feeling and typically she apologizes or say sorry I didn't realize it would affect you this much.

And vice versa for her. It's called communication, still don't see it as mental abuse though.

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Erick2142 t1_iwur2mu wrote

I honestly don't understand how you don't see that as manipulative behavior

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Otfd t1_iwux42f wrote

I didn’t say I didn’t see it as manipulation. I said it’s not mental abuse. Is he really falling apart because his girlfriend is talking to his female coworker? Plus just talk to your girlfriend don’t post on Reddit. Say “hey, this is bothering me. Why are you doing this?” I am sure she is just messing with him.

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