TIFU by grabbing the turkey to break my fall

Submitted by flaskextinguisher t3_z45l6x in tifu

Nothing like a Thanksgiving FU in front of the whole family, huh?

About 5 hours ago, I was helping set the table for Thanksgiving dinner. The turkey had just been pulled from the oven and I was bringing glasses and napkins to the table.

This year, our family was celebrating a much larger Thanksgiving that we are used to. Normally, we host a Thanksgiving with 6-8 people in attendance. This year, we invited all the aunts, uncles, and cousins to come too and, for the most part it was a blast. We don't often get together and so getting to see everyone was a special treat.

That said, when my aunts and uncles come, 6 kids under the age of ten come with them. While I love my cousins, they are at least partially to blame for the following FU.

After the turkey had been brought to the table in preparation of carving, I was bringing some glasses and napkins to the table. Unfortunately, my little cousins were chasing each other around at the same time. Before anyone can stop them, one got tagged pretty hard and fell into the back of my leg. For those who haven't had something like this happen to them, you knee basically gives out in that situation and mine did the same.

As I was going down, I tried to grab anything to break my fall. Unfortunately, with one hand holding the glasses I didn't want to break, I grabbed the only thing I could... the turkey.

The turkey, however, did not break my fall and instead went down with me. On the way down, I smacked my eyebrow off the dining room table before I pulled the still extremely hot turkey and juices down on top of me. Needless to say, the turkey was basically ruined, but luckily no one was seriously hurt, although I've got a sizable lump over my eye that might be black in the morning and a burn on my hand from grabbing the hot turkey. Hopefully no accidents at Christmas!

TL;DR: Cousin ran into me causing me to fall over. On the way down, I blacked my eye and brought the turkey with me.

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Dark0ra t1_ixph1oz wrote

Your eyeshadow looks fantastic at least

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixph57k wrote

Haha, thanks. Hopefully it doesn't look too bad when I'm waiting tables tomorrow

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HydratedThot t1_ixpmjxr wrote

It honestly might swell more when you lay down for bed.

I’d probably check in with a manager before going in, I’ve been sent home for an almost identical black eye 😅

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpmqz0 wrote

Wait, really?

I mean it's already sealed shut from the swelling. Can the swelling really get worse? And when did your manager let you go back? I'm trying to make as much money as possible for Christmas

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HydratedThot t1_ixpmyto wrote

Yeah, mine was a Halloween accident last year.

The swelling can get worse because essentially when you lay down, your face is now level with your heart, not elevated above it. ESPECIALLY if you’re a side sleeper, you might want to stack an extra pillow behind you so that you stay on your back/tilted.

Mine probably took 3-4 days to be at a point that wasn’t “impeding service”, which essentially meant my face and what could’ve happened was the focus of the restaurant and my boss wanted the restaurant to be the focus of the restaurant. It took about 2.5 weeks for all of the green and yellow colors to go away.

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HydratedThot t1_ixpmzxr wrote

Also, ice the shit out of it. It will help decrease swelling significantly for the first 24 hours after an injury like this.

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Major_Zucchini5315 t1_ixquel1 wrote

I’m so sorry! I hope at the very least the cousins helped to clean up the mess they helped to create! As far as work, I’d be more worried about your peripheral vision being affected. As anyone who’s worked in a restaurant would know, you almost need eyes in the back of your head. While it could be a hilarious story to tell your tables, others may worry that it was from abuse. Can you consider wearing an eye patch and when your tables ask, you can show them and tell them the story, all while getting some serious sympathy tips!! Feel better soon!!

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Disastrous_Potato605 t1_ixq8l88 wrote

U should put ice, maybe alternate warm and cool, and take something for the inflammation like ibuprofen

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BigBossWesker4 t1_ixq4dsw wrote

Obligatory "You should see the other guy"

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j0ec00l69 t1_ixpyjzi wrote

> Hopefully it doesn't look too bad when I'm waiting tables tomorrow

Just don't invite your cousins to the restaurant.

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ElleHopper t1_ixq7igw wrote

Just tell the customers that you had a tussle with an obstinate turkey, and you can both laugh about it

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maryxjane222 t1_ixph7iv wrote

The sides are usually better than the turkey anyway.

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Small-Cheesecake2287 t1_ixph7ha wrote

Yikes

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpha5g wrote

My eye doesn't look that bad, does it?

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Small-Cheesecake2287 t1_ixphu2w wrote

Its pretty bad, make sure to rest after a fall like that, i hope u put ice right after the incident

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixphyur wrote

A little, but I probably have only iced it for like 30 minutes since it happened. I just hope it looks better than it does now when I go into work tomorrow

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Kewkky t1_ixpqqfe wrote

Sadly, that's not how injuries work.

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpqvpw wrote

When do you think it'll start looking better? Do you think it'll be worse in the morning?

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TheLaGrangianMethod t1_ixprcia wrote

Yup.

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixprgbg wrote

Like just the swelling or the bruising too? I was hoping all the bruising would at least have the decency to stay contained to my eyelid, but I'm worried it'll spread below my eye. What do you think?

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SLAVA_STRANA541 t1_ixps3xs wrote

It’s gonna get a tad worse before it gets better, just tell everyone at work you walked into a door as your new boyfriend sits in a dark corner slowly nodding his head

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpsdyp wrote

Haha, not in any relationship right now. I can't imagine having a black eye is going to help my chances either lol

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TheReinsofFullnight t1_ixqn8nk wrote

Dude that thing is going to go through the rainbow before it gets better.

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixqnerv wrote

Well, I've already seen blue, red, and purple. When do you think I'll see orange, yellow, and green?

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TheReinsofFullnight t1_ixqtd8h wrote

No I mean your eye will be green/blue/purple/gross yellow brown etc. if you’re seeing those colors you might need a doctor? Lol

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Kewkky t1_ixprjid wrote

I had a face injury last year on November. It kept swelling and generally sucked for like 2-3 days, then stayed swelled for like almost 2 weeks, and finally started noticeably going down.

Maybe yours isn't as bad as mine, but it'll definitely still be very swollen tomorrow.

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixprvil wrote

How bad did yours look compared to mine? And how long did it last for?

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anonymois1111111 t1_ixqc9s3 wrote

I fell on my face waking my dog and it looked bad for a couple of weeks. Got really swollen. I bought an eye patch so I could go to work without people staring. Got to listen to lots of pirate jokes. Lol. Maybe you could try that?

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tmccrn t1_ixrxivh wrote

About two weeks, you should be down to a nice sickly green color that can be covered with makeup

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winyawinya t1_ixpjq3i wrote

> but luckily no one was seriously hurt

Hi no one!

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpk578 wrote

Haha, I did say "seriously"... It's just a little black eye and a light burn. I'm sure they'll both all healed in a couple days.

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Hm4585 t1_ixplxja wrote

Weeks*

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpm2uo wrote

Are you sure? I was reading that a normal black eye only takes like a week to heal up and the burn is very minor, didn't even blister.

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Hm4585 t1_ixpm6ib wrote

Well it depends. I was mostly joking but at the same time I wasn’t.

You’re going to have a mark for at least a mark. Everyone I’ve seen with a black eye had never fully healed in a few days

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpme57 wrote

>You're going to have a mark for at least a mark.

Did you mean a week? Or a month?

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Hm4585 t1_ixpmg3s wrote

Week. Autocorrect sucks at times

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpmwwf wrote

Understood. Respectfully, I hope you're wrong and that it heals a lot quicker than that. I don't want to walk around looking like Quasimodo for the next week

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Hm4585 t1_ixpoj33 wrote

50% chance I’m wrong. I’m just saying this stuff based on what I’ve seen. I’ve seen 2 black/purple eyes. I’m not very reliable

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I_Thot_So t1_ixq2a63 wrote

This is not a normal black eye. A normal black eye is swollen right away but usually doesn’t look fully bruised until the next day.

Think of the number of color changes a bruise goes through. How it looks small when it’s purple, but when it’s in the green phase, somehow it continues to spread. This is not a couple days. This is a couple weeks.

Put ice on it now and any time you aren’t working. Keep your head elevated above your heart. The inflammation itself will take a few days to go down, but that bruise is epic.

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixq4fhl wrote

So are you saying it's going to continue to spread over the next few weeks? I was kind of hoping that the bruise would be isolated to my upper eyelid

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I_Thot_So t1_ixq4l4t wrote

Dude. None of us are doctors. I’m speaking from the experience of a full grown adult who has had many types of bruises and seen people with “normal” black eyes. It’s pure anecdotal.

I’m just saying this will not go away in a couple days.

Go to the damn doctor.

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Jplus_official t1_ixph0dq wrote

At least there was no knives close to the turkey.

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixph8x1 wrote

Yeah, luckily Thanksgiving wasn't completely ruined with a hospital visit

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merpixieblossomxo t1_ixpkk73 wrote

"Luckily no one was seriously hurt."

Um, I would consider that seriously hurt though. Ouch.

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpkpn3 wrote

Fair enough, I figured it was juts a bruise but others seem to think it was more than that. Do you?

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merpixieblossomxo t1_ixpkyoo wrote

For just a bruise, that thing is really dark! And so close to your actual eyeball, you could have been hurt a lot worse so I suppose it's not as bad as it could have been. It's just really striking, that's all, and your description of the event is vivid enough that when people read it they can imagine themselves going through that same pain.

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpl4m7 wrote

Fair enough. I may see about getting it looked at by a doctor. I've never had a black eye before though so I don't know what to expect. Do you think it's going to get any worse?

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LilKoshka t1_ixpoz57 wrote

I've had black eyes and none of them were this bad. I'd be seeing a doctor if this were me. Mostly to just ensure deeper damage wasn't done and because I'd worry that the swelling could cause damage itself. I'm not a doctor so I'm not sure how much this area of the body can really handle. But when it comes to my eyesight, I'm not taking any chances.

Best of luck friend.

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpqnpo wrote

Yeah, I think I'll go see a doctor in the morning. It's pretty late here and depending on how bad it looks and/or feels, I'll definitely go.

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FastestCheeseSlinger t1_ixras6y wrote

Ive had black eyes, nothing this bad though, personally I wouldn't see a doctor it may go away in a week or so, but obv a doctor can't hurt.

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InadmissibleHug t1_ixpuki5 wrote

Matey, that’s not getting better or going down any time soon.

Here’s a good, legit guide to your black eye! (Trust me, I’m a nurse, lol)

https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/amp/article/black-eye

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpvbev wrote

Haha, was that a pirate reference?

In any case, thanks! Do you think I should get it looked at tomorrow? Or do you think I should be fine?

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InadmissibleHug t1_ixpvohx wrote

Haha it’s something we’ve said for years as a joke, buggered if I know where it came from, lol.

Look, read the page, it gives you some guidance as to when you should go to the doc. If you have any further questions I’m happy to clear up what I can- considering that I’m not there.

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GhostNinja1373 t1_ixs8f75 wrote

Look at you being amazing over here during the holiday and helping out OP 😁 now that is stuff i like seeing online

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spoink74 t1_ixpid4q wrote

Girl, stop making up stories and leave that man. 🤣

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpiros wrote

Lol, I wish I had better excuses for my black eye. I sure I'll catch a ton of crap at work about it

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vonnegutfan2 t1_ixpmeoj wrote

Did the family go out for Chinese food. Did you really shoot your eyes with a red rider beebee gun? Just drink more ovaltine.

seriously was the turkey saved by the 3 second rule ?

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpmjbl wrote

Haha, we had to clean off the parts that hit the floor, but mostly it was okay. It mostly landed on me. No Chinese food this time, but the eye injury is pretty consistent lol

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effjayyelle t1_ixpsy5r wrote

Mate, you need to sit up and ice that bitch!

Try sleep sitting up and when you can get some Arnica cream on the bruise on your eyebrow (try keep it away from your eyes) it'll draw the bruise out making it worse, but then getting better quickly.

Try take some anti inflammatories (ibuprofen or whatever the US equivalent is) sleep with a cool wet flannel (if you can sleep with a fan on to keep the flannel cool if that works)

If you're worried about needing to work, see if your boss will let you get away with an eye patch at least then you can work without scaring your customers.

(plus, see if your increasingly outlandish stories about how it happened gets you better tips)

Good luck bro, next time just avoid turkies and tables!

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixptb1p wrote

Thanks. How much worse do you think the bruise will get? Do you think it'll spread below my eye?

As to working, I definitely need to work, and since we're short-staffed tomorrow, I don't think calling out is an option. I'm also a little worried about working with an eyepatch on and not being able to see out of one of my eyes, but I would like to avoid scaring people. Does it look that bad that people will be scared by it?

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effjayyelle t1_ixptzka wrote

Bro, you're that swollen you won't be able to see out of one of your eyes for a few days, plus, if I was your boss, I'd rather a heads up "hey, knocked my eyebrow today, got a bit of a bruise, happy to still come in but it's not pretty. OK if I wear an eye patch?" rather than you rocking up looking like you lost a round to Muhammad Ali. As a patron, I'd be worried for the kid who's serving me with a massive black eye swollen shut.

I'm not a doc, but see how it's already blooming down one side of your eye? I think it'll probably bruise the whole way round. I wouldn't be surprised if you copped your eye a bit too. You'll probably wake up with a throbbing headache tomorrow.

You do you, bro. It'll definitely get worse before it gets better. Keep up the ice packs and pain relief. See a doc if the swelling doesn't subside in a few days.

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kuh-tea-uh t1_ixshb3c wrote

Walking around with no depth perception is gonna be a…trip.

Sorry bud. This is brutal. Heal quick!

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tennis1618 t1_ixprji8 wrote

Omg if this happened to me I would have yelled at the kids for being so careless lol. Although when my nephews come over I don’t let them run around the house anyways it’s too easy for someone to get hurt

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NumbSurprise t1_ixqr5qj wrote

You’d be smart to have that checked out by a medical professional. That’s a tough spot: anything that close to the eye is concerning. You could have an orbital fracture in there, given how swollen it is and how fast it swelled up. Given that it could affect the health of your eye, I’d strongly suggest erring on the side of caution.

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Competitive_Shame317 t1_ixpj8r5 wrote

That got purple suspiciously fast...

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpjlqb wrote

Trust me, I'm not happy about it, but I can't say I'm surprised. This was my eye about 10 minutes after I fell.

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Competitive_Shame317 t1_ixpkazj wrote

Damn, you probably need to go to the hospital. Like fr.

Please don't go to sleep until you've at least talked to a medical professional.

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpkn1n wrote

Is it really that bad? I guess I just figured it was a run of the mill black eye?

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bullshitandbitchery t1_ixrv0ta wrote

I would be worried you may have chipped or fractured the bone. Not a medical professional though, si not sure what that actually looks like.

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orangekitti t1_ixq9td7 wrote

You should go to the doctor. Don’t mess around with your eye health.

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whiskeyjane45 t1_ixrxsyk wrote

OP did you see a health professional? Just checking on you. I've had black eyes but never swelling like that

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Robbodobbor t1_ixpnedu wrote

At least now you can use it to your advantage and tell your crush you fought off 3 guys. gif

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ohkelly t1_ixqp3k0 wrote

HA! I feel your pain. A bunch of years ago I was crouching down when a frozen turkey slipped from my brother’s hands right onto my face when I looked up. Broke my nose and now I have a deviated septum. Apparently there is a medical code for being struck by a turkey. Thanks bro!

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixqpmum wrote

Haha, glad I'm in good company! Thanks for sharing and sorry for your pain!

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candiedapplecrisp t1_ixq611z wrote

Oh wow! This wasn't your fault! Did the parents apologize at least?

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixq699t wrote

Oh yeah, my aunt and uncle were mortified. I don't hold it against them though. It was just an accident with me being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I just feel bad about the turkey, but luckily it was mostly okay. Just like me haha

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staceyjoacian t1_ixrjx23 wrote

When hitting your head that hard you should probably go to the hospital. Just to be safe. Sucks you lost the turkey but your brains more important

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kaedgi t1_ixphuxe wrote

Holy crap I'm sorry. Isn't it nice when your trying to enjoy your holiday but the powers that be are just looking for a good laugh.

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpi54p wrote

Yes, it's a blast /s. Hopefully you can get a chuckle from the lovely purple lump that has slowly enveloped my eye though

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kaedgi t1_ixpje1v wrote

Well I am usually kinda a bitch, but you seem a little too nice for me to laugh at your misfortune. Maybe the holidays are making me a better person. I doubt it, but maybe. Good luck, hopefully you heal quickly-

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpjse5 wrote

Thanks! Hope your Thanksgiving was better than mine!

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kaedgi t1_ixpk9ww wrote

It will be if you promise that when people ask you what happened tomorrow at work, you say "you should see the other guy"and pull out a picture of Monica from friends with the turkey on her head.

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixpkk7w wrote

Lol, that it honestly probably the best way to explain my eye to the patrons who will inevitably be curious.

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Shymaiden t1_ixpnpxa wrote

Oh, that looks awful! You poor thing. Hope you feel better.

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blankasfword t1_ixqnbcb wrote

Was the turkey still intact? It seems like you could just rinse off the outside. Turkeys are big AF. Seems like there would still be some meat on the inside of that badboy that would still be good.

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixqnkqg wrote

Mostly. It didn't end up too ruined and we still had plenty for dinner. I think we have a lot less for left-overs, though

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Kryssikush t1_ixrjuiu wrote

"Might be black." 😂 That my dude is a beautiful black eye.

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AliasFaux t1_ixqdxea wrote

I saw the picture and assumed that the story would be: "as I was falling I reached out and grabbed the turkey and ruined it, and so somebody punched me in the face"

To which my immediate thought was: "You know, that's a reasonable response, actually"

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Prostheta t1_ixqk2c0 wrote

I suppose you're not allowed to wear a blindfold at work?

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Tinuviel52 t1_ixrhjtl wrote

You should probably get that checked out, eye/head injuries can be serious even if you’re not feeling a ton of pain. And burns bigger than 3cm on the hand should be checked regardless

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shannofordabiz t1_ixrj383 wrote

More ice and keep your head above your heart when sleeping

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tmccrn t1_ixrw3ys wrote

Oof - accidents happen, but I’m always shocked at gatherings where parents don’t keep their kids out of the way of working adults and breakables.

I am so sorry you were hurt!!

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tmccrn t1_ixry140 wrote

Are you sure you didn’t fracture your orbital bone?

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cpsbstmf t1_ixs12ca wrote

Omg. What was the table made of diamonds? That's a huge lump. I'd put ice on it and see an eye Dr Incase the eye got damaged too

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SeaLeggs t1_ixsl2x9 wrote

>might be black in the morning

Lol

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No-Town-4678 t1_ixsmhn7 wrote

“Luckily no one was seriously hurt”

More like, luckily no one died

Edit: op you have some beautiful eyes. Or eye? What color, I can’t tell from the picture?

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maxs507 t1_ixt7t7p wrote

You didn’t fuck up. Your aunts and uncles fucked up for allowing their kids to run around in the dining room. That put you in a situation where there wasn’t any way to come out successful.

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gardengirl99 t1_ixx0xqi wrote

I hope those little monsters and/or their parents were extremely remorseful for them causing your injury.

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Yolly_girl t1_ixs84yy wrote

Hemorrhoid cream will reduce the swelling. My eyes puff up like that from simply crying so I've used it numerous times.

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Jedibbq t1_ixsqo36 wrote

Damn kids need a whoopin for that

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No_Calligrapher_6690 t1_ixph3ar wrote

stupid ass

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixph6jg wrote

Admittedly, mistakes were made

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No_Calligrapher_6690 t1_ixph8b1 wrote

this is why I hate little children

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flaskextinguisher OP t1_ixphfi7 wrote

Nah, I love my cousins, even when they come close to maiming me lol

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No_Calligrapher_6690 t1_ixphhpt wrote

ik, ik. but when they run around you for absolutely no reason is ..... quite annoying to say the least

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