Hello reddit, I never thought I’d have such a stupid and embarrassing story like this under my belt but I believe the best way to cope with this hilarious fault is by talking about it.

I (F) was cutting up some jalapeño peppers a couple hours ago to make chili for dinner. After that, I washed my hands a few times and then did the dishes and washed my hands again afterwards. I’ve probs washed my hands about three or more times by this point.

After my chores, I get on my xbox to talk with some friends and my bf (lets call him J for this story). To spare the details, J (M) sends me a text letting me know that he thinks I am quite breedable while we are talking with friends (no, he did not verbally say this in the presence of others), so we both decide to mute our mics and to send some spicy texts to each other because…hormones.

I was already aware of the fact that the capsaicin was in my hands and I probably should not caress the coochie with my peppery paws, so I decided to use my bf with batteries to be on the safe side while texting J explicits.

To my dismay, my vibrator died on me mid way, so I had to swap to hands and I completely forgot about my burning hands because I tend to be a little bit of a smooth brain. After J and I finished, my climax quickly turned into a curse. Its like I casted a fireball spell on my clitoris and I immediately saw my life flash before my eyes. The next 30 mins that followed were filled with burning pains inside and out of my crotch.

I immediately texted J the regret that had flooded my mind like a tsunami of sorrow. He felt so horrible for me and tried his best to help (bless his soul, I love him).

TL;DR: I cut jalapeños for dinner then touched my crotch with burning hands (didnt even notice they were burning) while sending bf explicit messages. The next 30 mins were hell and I am now laughing about it.