Different strokes I guess. My wife and I were “exclusive” after like the third date.

Best thing you can do is be real with him, tell him you realize pushed too early and that you liked what you had. Im curious about how you reacted? Was it really that bad?

Like everyone else here including yourself have said, it depends on the person. Just talk to him in a similar fashion to how you were honest with us here. Let him know its been a while for you so your timeline gauge may be a little skewed. I am not sure what ensued from the pettiness, but hopefully you guys can work through it.

There is nothing wrong with wanting/asking for exclusivity. If he doesn't want it then you very well might not be a good fit for each other. Don't be pressured into accepting something that you don't want as you may get hurt.

If he says no to exclusivity and you stay with him, and you at some point find out he has been with someone else, how will you take it?

I might get down voted to hell for this, but how is this too early?? Relationships now move pretty fast. It’s not wrong or a fuck up to want to establish boundaries early in to the relationship. That’s how you just weed out people who will inadvertently end up wasting your time if you’re both looking for different things. Sounded like he just wanted to keep things simple where you wanted something more serious. Having your boundaries or wants of a relationship brought out in the open means you each start establishing your intentions for the relationship.

I’ve had people establish their boundaries by the first or second date and it caught me off guard for sure. But it’s starting to become a norm now, don’t see anything wrong with it. If you’re FaceTiming and texting everyday for a month, I really don’t see how that was early. Everyone will be different, everyone will be used to different things. And for sure everyone will be looking for different things. It’s just a matter of putting it out there so you know you find someone that wants the same level of relationship you are looking for.

you live, you learn. next time, broach the topic slowly and maybe try just asking "where do you see this going"

for now, see if he's open to take things slower. let him know you're really into him and respect his boundaries and hopefully he's willing to give it another try.

Sorry if I'm being clueless here, but for various reasons I will assume the dates you had with him included sex which I must also assume you found satisfactory if you now want to be exclusive. Maybe I'm wrong that to younger Redditors this goes without saying.

So far as I'm concerned, you are totally justified to ask him to be exclusive. The only way he could possibly decline is if he is some sort of player. I peeked at your profile, sorry, and found ample evidence there that you are a very attractive woman.

Unfortunately the kinds of dudes most likely to get matched on dating apps are that sort of player. Might be worth thinking about.

A lot of good advice I've seen, but just to add to it:

It isn't just about a "timeline", I would also make sure that the both of you discuss what you might want out of this relationship: "are you liking how things are going?" "I am in a place where I want to be more serious, are you also in that place?" "Are you looking for something serious or something casual?" I know that can be a heavy conversation (you're both adults, though, and having a slightly heavy conversation should be doable and understandable after a month of dating, if he can't have such a conversation then that's a huge red flag), but if this guy just wants something casual and isn't planning on getting serious for a while and you want to be serious then you may want to start dating other guys. Definitely its both of y'alls decisions/feelings that need to be addressed. There's nothing wrong with him wanting something casual, but if it's not what you want (or if you don't want to wait for months or years down the road) then theres nothing wrong with that either. As long as everyone is respectful and understanding you can still be friends but choose to date others.

My partner and I became exclusive within a couple weeks of meeting but it's because we both wanted that. I've had many friends who took years to be exclusive but it's because, again, they both weren't ready for exclusivity at that point in their lives. It usually only gets bad when people want different things and different levels of commitment with no plans or expectations of change in the near future.

Ultimately, if this guy is ghosting you or scared off because you were ready to commit before he was then that's pretty sad. I guess I'm not sure how "butt hurt" or "defensive" you got, but it's also understandable you felt a little disappointed and upset. How bad was your reaction? You weren't throwing things or cussing him out or anything right? You likely wouldn't want someone who can't understand that other people have different desires, wants, and needs and being in a relationship (even just at the casual dating phase) is about respecting, understanding, mediating, and supporting those differences. Don't be scared to let the other person know that you want to be more serious, you just have to also respect if they don't want to be serious in return.

You can't push it if he not feeling it.

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