Submitted by zapdoszaperson t3_z4n9fn in tifu

This just happened a little while ago. My gf and I are in the process of moving into our new home, we had been living with family so it's been a lot of carloads of stuff when we had a chance. I went up today and loaded my SUV up with those cube organizer book cases and shoved an assortment of non-breakable things in and around them to make sure I was getting the most out of my trip. That stuff was sliding all over the place but I thought nothing of it.

I stop at Wal-mart to grab some groceries since it's on the way, Black Friday meant it was pretty busy. I do my shopping and return to my vehicle, I opened the back door and time slowed. A decorative shoe box slowing falling to the black top, I scrambled to catch it. It made contact with the parking lot, it bounced sending the lid flying.

I watched as dildos, bottles of lube, and other assorted adult items rained out of the box and onto the pavement. I scrambled, sweeping an armful of dicks back into the box and shoving it back into my car. I stood there for a second in silence, looked around and sighed. A short moment of peace as I realized nobody had seen what had happened.

My jaw dropped as the silence was shattered by a BZZT, BZZT, BZZT... coming from the back seat of my car. Not realizing it in the panic, and to my horror, something had turned on. I stealthily and frantically sifted through the box until I silenced the culprit. I loaded my groceries, got into the driver's seat, and laughed my ass off.

I texted my gf to tell her about the incident. She was very concerned something of value was broken. She realized what box I had dropped and replied with a disappointing "now I have to clean them all".

TLDR: I crammed a bunch of shit into my car and had a box of sex toys fall out into a Walmart parking lot creating even more work for myself and my exhausted gf.

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Comments

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Scary-Alternative-11 t1_ixrup1e wrote

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 OMG, you just made my day! I'm glad nobody saw!!

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GruesomeJeans t1_ixrzr4v wrote

At a Walmart parking lot, a box of dildos falling on the ground is the most tame thing to happen that day

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SnakeBeardTheGreat t1_ixsq484 wrote

Now she has to clean them all. Why have one when 10 is beter!

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Interesting-Month-56 t1_ixrwc9l wrote

It’s really too bad you don’t have a video of it.

3

Gawd4 t1_ixtpwww wrote

Walmart security has one. They found it hilarious.

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RiseoftheFlies t1_ixt1ped wrote

You dropped a box and have to check the contents for damage. Not exactly a big fuck up. Not much at all really.

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[deleted] t1_ixs3ock wrote

So glad! Ha, while washing...check those things for scratches, bumps, and lumps. Ouch!

It's one thing if your partner has a sharp 💅 nail. Another if your partner tore a dildo up at Wal-Mart. 🤷‍♀️ Asphalt is unforgiving.

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Letmepickausername t1_ixu5v1d wrote

> "now I have to clean them all"

Weren't they being cleaned before?

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zapdoszaperson OP t1_ixwc4bj wrote

They were already clean before taking a tumble onto the asphalt.

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