" now i hate myself for failing as a man "

You did not.

Tbh you just need to be ready, dont be stressed and dont be mad about yourself, just get your mind clear and do it.

If you have to much stress or you are to insecure in this exact moment stuff like this happens. Its just a head thing yk.

I would advise you to try and find a girl you really really like, be honnest with here and stand to beeing a virgin (its not a shame and everybody who says it is is a fucking sonovabitch). When you get close just try to relax, I mean its normal to be excited but dont think about it to much.

You got it bro!