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Flossthief t1_j1tll9y wrote

Protip: this will probably never come up in conversation and someday when you have your own place you can listen to women getting off all you want

Just for you I'm going to go do it myself in the living room on the TV

It gets better

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JejuneEsculenta t1_j1tmfaw wrote

Secondary tip: Bluetooth earbuds don't unplug when dropped.

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Mooseymax t1_j1u46x5 wrote

Clearly haven’t ever paired your Bluetooth earbuds to another device (like laptop), forgotten, then blasted out the unholiest of noises from your phone with earphones in - turning the volume louder because it sounds muffled.

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Thebombuknow t1_j1u6sjs wrote

My earbuds have multipair. They're paired to all my devices at once, and it can automatically play through multiple devices (it just mutes the other ones when one takes priority).

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lizziebordensbae t1_j1vgclw wrote

Ok, I need that! What kind of earbuds do you have?

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compaqdeskpro t1_j1vuxgb wrote

I have Jabra and Bose that multipair, and AKG that do not.

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bros402 t1_j1w3x2c wrote

Use the term "multipoint" when looking at bluetooth headsets/earbuds

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Thebombuknow t1_j1wbsgw wrote

I use Jabra Elite Active 75ts. I also just got a Jabra Elite 4 Active, which is their newest midrange earbud. I know the 75ts have it, not sure about the 4s though.

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Van_GOOOOOUGH t1_j1x4f8c wrote

Can you control which one takes priority? I have this problem with my Bluetooth earbuds in my car, even if I want my Bluetooth to be on my earbuds, it always goes to my car. And I need my car audio system on to pick up GPS through the speakers. I hate that my car picks up my earbuds and makes those priority over the GPS system. I hate it.

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Thebombuknow t1_j1x5vdl wrote

I'm not entirely sure what you're describing. Your phone is pairing to the car and your earbuds, and the earbuds take priority?

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Van_GOOOOOUGH t1_j1y0qgc wrote

Whenever I try to Bluetooth my car to one phone, and my earbuds to another phone, the car takes over & doesn't allow the secondary phone to connect to my earbuds... It's frustrating & weird because my car can't connect to two Bluetooth devices at once, but as soon as I activate Bluetooth on a secondary device my car hijacks it & abandons the other device.

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Thebombuknow t1_j1yqa2e wrote

Oh yeah, certain cars can do that. If you don't need it paired, you can always unpair the second phone. If it's needed, there's probably a setting somewhere in the car that tells it not to auto-connect to certain devices.

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JejuneEsculenta t1_j1uatwu wrote

In my case, I do product testing for an earbud manufacturer, in my spare time, so they keep sending me free sets.

I just have one set for the computer, a couple sets that are paired either my phone and another device, one set just for the phone, one for my Switch, one for my Mac, etc...

Super handy until you misread the markings on them and grab the wrong ones.

EDIT: Cripes. I just realized how many sets of earbuds I own. Yikes!

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compaqdeskpro t1_j1vuutw wrote

I have this freedom but still don't do it, I turn the ambient sounds down then pull out headphones if I need to hear something.

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maeby_surely_funke t1_j1tx530 wrote

Don’t sweat it. Your parents assume you do this, they just don’t want to think about it. Just like you assume they have sex but don’t want to think about it. They probably didn’t hear it—but even if they did it’s not a big deal.

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Grazzygreen t1_j1vrnnc wrote

And maybe it put them in the mood. Does that help?

−34

Biguitarnerd t1_j1vtdeh wrote

Gross… thinking of my kids doing anything makes me nauseous. I know they do it, at least my oldest but I don’t want to think about it let alone hear it.

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3v4n777 t1_j1xj5ul wrote

have you ever felt the loving touch of a woman (that isn’t your mother)? answer honestly.

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Grazzygreen t1_j1y75fp wrote

Does my wife count? She likes jokes and doesn't get offended at objectively harmless jokes.

Have you? 3v4n777

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3v4n777 t1_j1y799f wrote

“objectively harmless joke” was just fucking weird. i can assure you unless your supposed wife is as strange as you she’d be concerned at a comment like that.

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Grazzygreen t1_j1y7dxx wrote

I showed it to her. She laughed.

What do you find so offensive about this? Honestly curious.

Edit: the joke is the op's parent's might be aroused from the sounds of a porno because apparently that wasn't clear to the puritans

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3v4n777 t1_j1y7iat wrote

im not offended, but a joke about parents getting aroused from the sound of their son/ daughter having sex is just plain fucking weird, in no way is it comedic.

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Grazzygreen t1_j1y83a5 wrote

So...that's not what the op wrote about. He wrote about playing porn on a computer which his parents might have heard. That's it.

Unless they mistook the op for the sounds that come from a porno (highly unlikely!), I think your outrage is way off base.

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3v4n777 t1_j20v53y wrote

i mixed two posts up, i apologise for that, regardless still a weird comment to make over their kid playing porn out loud.

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5exuallyDeviantLama t1_j1tua73 wrote

I once broke a glass and a plate right in the hallway while they were asleep and they told me they didn't notice. So I think you're good, at the least for the moaning part

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nicol_turren t1_j1tm7pv wrote

Don't sweat it, I reckon your parents would be more worried if you weren't sexually curious at 18. Not to put a horr8ble image in your head but parents used to be teenagers as well, if you get my meaning

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Thebombuknow t1_j1u6wws wrote

> I reckon your parents would be more worried if you weren't sexually curious at 18.

Then there's me, an ace mfer who is the least "sexually curious" person in the world.

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The_Rhibo t1_j1wio8d wrote

To discover you were ace probably took a little bit of introspection/sexual curiosity even if it was never expressed through masturbation. Or who knows, maybe you tried it once to very quickly find out it wasn't for you.

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Thebombuknow t1_j1x4z61 wrote

The idea of anything sexual has always just been weird to me. It's hard to explain, but it's just how I've always felt, it doesn't sound appealing. I guess, in a way even thinking about it is curiousity though, so you are right about that.

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cpsbstmf t1_j1u3fvd wrote

Lol yeah once I was watching a video of someone pranking someone by arranging his laptop to play loud moaning in a library, my earbuds stop connecting and my family thought I was watching porn and yelled at me. They're religious

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Somorev t1_j1tvazl wrote

Trust me, those friends who have had sex in their parents house before? The parents KNOW.

Personally I hope my kids explore themselves when they reach that age, they'll know what they like and communicate it to their future partner(s) which is all round good for them.

Don't be embarassed because I'm sure your parents did similar things or went through similar experiences as teens. You're doing nothing wrong so flick away!

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Water_designr t1_j1u9fdp wrote

Please don't copy what you see in porn. Try to get off and explore your body on your own, if you mirror porn you'll have a hard time cuming without it.

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paulstelian97 t1_j1uhxd0 wrote

I have my phone and laptop volumes at 0 when no headphones are plugged in or connected.

This helps prevent stuff like this.

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homosexchad t1_j1v04t2 wrote

yeah this is why i used to make sure my devices main volume is on zero before i plug headphones in. if the headphones fell out --> there's no sound anyway!

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lizziebordensbae t1_j1vg8wb wrote

If they only heard a short snippet, in the middle of the night and were even slightly asleep, hopefully it either didn't register, or they assumed it was from a tv show or maybe even part of the music, or even that it was you but non-sexual. I doubt they're sitting awake at night listening for noises from your room and analysing them.

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heyitsvonage t1_j1uyyay wrote

Your parents know you’re horny. Everyone is.

(Not truly everyone, but I was generalizing for emphasis)

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goldbars0202 t1_j1wffyn wrote

Protip: your dad still jerks off while you sleep too! Also your mom probably likes her asshole licked.

GET OVER IT!

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Stoney-McBoney t1_j1w47ej wrote

When I was 15, I woke up on a Saturday and assumed my parents went on their daily early-morning bike ride. I turned on my computer and jerked the gerkin, as you do. I didnt mute it or wear headphones because of the assumption I was alone. I finish and go downstairs and my mom is cleaning the kitchen. We have never, ever spoken about it.

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dg9821 t1_j1vgo6m wrote

All you have to do is tell them you were watching a film on tv and a sex scene came on and you tried to mute it or turn it over. 😂

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Floyd_Pink t1_j1vutwg wrote

They're your parents. They know full well what you get up to in your alone time. As a parent, I can honestly tell you that it's not a big deal at all.

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somedonkus420 t1_j1w00um wrote

I have been walked in on by family members before and I'm still alive, you will be ok lol just about everyone does it

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Beautiful-Hotel-6880 t1_j1wip7i wrote

lmao, not that deep. In secret all parents know their kid is doing the dirty.

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BellaxPalus t1_j1xd6ir wrote

Pornhub.com automatically pauses the video is the headphones get disconnected. Never worry again.

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jediflamaster t1_j1udscd wrote

This would've been a great prank if you didn't damage control with the music.

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lisalymel t1_j1vohwo wrote

Lol there is a song called pleasure slave by manowar next time you can play that song on spotify

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Ill_Concern5779 t1_j1x6wf9 wrote

It happens it’s natural, I live with my parent in a home we pay for together because in this economy we can afford half a million dollar home . Rather than shitty living apart. So I sound proof my living quarters have toys that don’t vibrate and when I’m entertaining I’ve just learn to be quiet and respectful. So yeah it’s ok. Embarrassing but ok and normal.

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airronic t1_j2b7cc8 wrote

“I … look up videos of women touching themselves so that I don’t feel alone when I do it. It also really helps me me to middle then and teach myself.”

It’s okay to be gay. The shame you feel is because you’re hiding a part of who you are. Stay woke, homie.

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