As someone with anxiety and suffering from OCD, I feel you so much. I had a girl offer me a first kiss this year when we were playing Never have I never and I turned her down in the moment as we were in a group setting. I didn’t want her to feel pressured or be seen as bad as my anxiety made me believe if I acted upon it. When I talked to people later about it, they called me an idiot and I should have seized the moment. Le sigh. I can relate to you so much