My father in law is similar but luckily all of his children are sick of his shit. This year, we set a limit on how much we would take from him and left after two hours. Wouldn't have gone at all except there is a five year old niece involved and she was so excitrd to see the whole family. My own family lives in a different province, so that was it for our celebrations. Ordered Chinese food and had egg nog for the rest of the night.

I'm sorry your bf fell into trying to fit in. Hopefully that's all that it was and isn't something deeper. As it's still early days for you guys, I hope you're able to have a real conversation about it and let him know that you noticed and it hurt. He probably isn't thinking about it at all right now and needs to hear it. You definitely did not fuck up by having boundaries.