I am going to start by saying if you are having problems with the negative thoughts PLEASE seek help.

Not going into a very long drawn out story, but when I was 25 I caused the divorce from my first wife/marriage. I was young and stupid.

I also did not handle it well emotionally and I tried to kill myself by taking sleeping pills. I actually tried twice and the second time I somehow slept off 32 sleeping pills that I downed with a beer.

I know it is very difficult to see any light right now, but please get help. I made it thru mine pretty much on my own. I was a mess for a pretty long time.

Eventually I did meet someone else and have been happily married for 27 years now.