TIFU by giving my uncle anal lube for Christmas

Submitted by bigbaronboi t3_zvem1i in tifu

TIFU by accidentally giving my uncle anal lube for Christmas.

I am beyond horrified.

My girlfriend and I live together and have 2 cats. Despite our best efforts, both of our cats find insane ways to get underneath our bed. All gaps have been blocked off, but they always look for a way under. Next to our bed is a nightstand that has some “personal items” - one of those being lube.

Our apartment is very small, and after I wrapped and bagged some gifts for my family, I put them next to our bed. My gifts to most of my family were gift bags with candy and gift cards.

Flash forward to today: my whole family - aunt, uncle, grandma and cousins - are all opening presents. Myself and all of my cousins are adults. We are seated in a circle at my grandma’s house, everyone opening a gift one by one.

My uncle starts opening his gift from my girlfriend and I. He pulls out a gift card, says a thank you, looks inside the bag and sees some candy, thank you, then pulls out a small bottle and goes silent…

I slowly recognize the bottle and my worst nightmare is confirmed. It’s a small bottle of Adam & Eve FORBIDDEN ANAL LUBE.

I urgently run over and take the bottle and apologize repeatedly. One of my cousins is sitting next to my uncle and is dying of laughter. My uncle quietly chuckles and says “lucky I didn’t say anything”. No one else has noticed as they were all talking amongst themselves.

I go back down to sit with my girlfriend and she doesn’t understand what is going on. I point to my pocket which now has a defined cylinder outline and whisper what happened to her with my face red hot with blood from embarrassment. She is so shocked and taken aback and we are both freaking out.

I don’t know how that got into his gift bag, I can only assume that one of our cats jumped on our nightstand and knocked it off the edge into the bag. My girlfriend and I are absolutely mortified.

At this point my cousin has texted our group chat with all my cousins and we’ve been roasted and killed from embarrassment.

The ironic part is that my girlfriend and I do not even do anal but there is no going back on this and trying to explain that to family. I am horrified that the bottle just HAD to say “FORBIDDEN ANAL LUBE” in all caps and bolded letters.

We can never step foot in grandma’s house again.

TL;DR - My cat knocked a bottle of lube into my uncle’s Christmas gift and he got an awkward surprise gift from his nephew.

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Comments

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a22e t1_j1otmjx wrote

> The ironic part is that my girlfriend and I do not even do anal but there is no going back on this and trying to explain that to family.

Well, no excuses now.

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VirtualRy t1_j1rizpi wrote

So they have a bottle of anal lube but they don't do anal.....right...I believe you!

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a22e t1_j1t1rve wrote

Best not to jump to conclusions. It was probably an Easter present from a great aunt.

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AcrobaticSource3 t1_j1otmh9 wrote

First time I read the titles, I thought your uncle’s name was Anal. Like you gave your Uncle Anal some lube, and I thought, “Hey that is very appropriate!”

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Critical-Echo-923 t1_j1pkdom wrote

brush it off ur adults

but do shame ur cousin and others for sharing this and discussing ur sex life

edit: i usually go with a: what's next, u wanna plan to come and watch ?!

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Fun-Pea-880 t1_j1ormhl wrote

Maybe your Uncle would have liked it.

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TileTone t1_j1orclh wrote

Should've kept it in there.

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notMyKinkAccount t1_j1pwzbf wrote

It's the gift that keeps on giving all year long, Clark.

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RedCatte t1_j1q33xc wrote

I read these Xmas gift mistake stories all the time and can’t help but wonder how uptight some people’s families are.

Seriously, my family would just laugh.

You all need to ease up and be a bit less anal.

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xKensei t1_j1pxsni wrote

What a shitty gift :)

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MrPlow_357 t1_j1os2h9 wrote

Lol. Kentucky Jelly for Christmas.

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gerishnakov t1_j1pu0jz wrote

Hey, lube has many uses besides anal.

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danderskoff t1_j1q16ix wrote

Something similar happened to me. I used to live in an apartment with a friend. As far as I know he never has had a relationship with someone or been intimate with anyone. I was waiting on a package once from Amazon and one came in the mail. I assumed it was mine but when I opened it, there was just this huge bottle of lube.

I texted my friend and said "I put your package in your room from Amazon." To this day he still swears that he didnt prefer it from Amazon but we had a good laugh about it

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AndrewFishay t1_j1s0k9o wrote

You’ve done the time, may as well do the crime!

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Omnes_Lege t1_j1qcdry wrote

So, what was your uncle's gift after all? Did he get one or what happened to it? Was it just the card and candy?

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