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Fatassgecko t1_j1y2bx7 wrote

To cheer you up, here's my version

Had jock itch,

Try not to scratch,

Thought mouthwash would be nice with the cooling effect,

Wipe it all over my balls and thigh,

The delayed agony begin,

Felt like there's a thousand cut on my ball and burning on literal fire.

I did not drop a single tear when I broke off my arm. I cried like a baby in fetal position when I rubbed my ball with mouthwash.

17

Hot_Supermarket4369 OP t1_j1y34l3 wrote

Oh my god… I would love to know what thought process led you to mouth wash as the solution here. But I have onion vagina so I guess I’m in no place to judge right now

12

aussie_nub t1_j1y3vmf wrote

The problem was that he wasn't thinking.

Seriously, putting something like that near your balls takes some serious non-thinking.

7

Fatassgecko t1_j1ydf0z wrote

Improvisation with whatever tools I have

The thought process goes as follow:

What cause jock itch?

Warm and moisture= fungus infection

Does it mean I could cure it fast with disinfectant?

What tools do I have that disinfect stuff?

-Alcohol

-toothpaste

-vinegar

-Mouthwash

Than I remembered someone had a blowjob, with a cooling effect blow job, I suspected it's either mouthwash or ice water.

But it's itching bad, so mouthwash is the way I choosed to be dead inside.

3

dysphoric_amalgam t1_j1z9tym wrote

Here's my version.

I was born with flat feet. This is important to know because once upon I went water skiing when I was a teenager.

I walk like a duck with my feet pointed out, and can't really hold them straight. The error with water skiing was that I immediately did the splits my first time on the skis, and strained every muscle in my groin and inner thighs, because my feet point out like that.

Genius me decides when I get home to put Icy Hot on my thighs. Icy Hot doesn't really stay put.

After a few minutes I realized my error, and...

...well, the story ends with my mom barging into the bathroom, concerned, to see me doing the doggie wipe in the tub, screaming in agony from both the pain in my thighs and my burning McNuggets.

That tub couldn't fill fast enough.

6