Let me preface when I say this, this is easier said than done. It’s all up to you to change. You need to put in the hard work. You need to be hitting the gym and focusing that nervous energy into something healthy. Maybe a spin bike at home? Start picking and then you owe 5 minutes on the bike. Like I said this is WAY easier said than done. I’m overweight myself but I’ve accepted that this is who I am. You’re still young enough to change. You’re the captain of the ship. Steer it the way you want your life to go.

A few things -

1. I weigh well over 300lbs, have been in relationships since... uhhh forever and just married the man of my dreams.
2. The man of my dreams had chronic acne and has acne scars and is still fucking gorgeous, like model gorgeous.

You need to stop listening to the voice in your head that is being a dick to you and telling you there is no hope. This voice is wrong, it is a jerk, it is not seeing the whole picture. Your skin will heal if you leave it alone, your teeth can be fixed, your kindeys and arteries are probably not that bad at 20, you're going to be fine.

All of this stuff about the future - honestly, we don't know what will happen. You could win the lottery tomorrow, you could go viral and make a million dollars. You need to navigate yourself away from this catastrophic thinking and thinking you've ruined your life.

Yes, you have obstacles, but all of them can be over come with time and effort, and many of them are not the obstacles that you are making them out to be.

Don't give up, love your pets, love yourself, go to the gym, work hard at your good job. Build a life you love, things will come in time.

(Also maybe get a happy light or something, this time of year is really rough with the limited sunshine and it can make our brains be big jerks.)

Your life truly is over…if you maintain this pattern of thinking. You’re 20, and I know the weight of your failures feels crushing, but again, you’re TWENTY. Barely out of your teenage years. Continue to work on yourself, build your confidence, make an actionable plan for your life, and you’ll be surprised 15 years from now that you ever threw yourself this virtual pity party and condemned your life to nothingness. Trust me, your life hasn’t even begun yet. I know people who were doing wayyyyyyy worse than you at 20 who are absolutely thriving now. Think more positively. It’s a lot more powerful than you think.

Have you ever heard the idea that ruminating on the past is depression and ruminating on the future is anxiety?

It sounds like you may suffer from depression and anxiety. Skin picking is called dermatillomania or excoriation disorder - it comes under the umbrella of anxiety and compulsion. But great news - there’s help for this! Today is a new day and a great day to start making positive changes. Schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and start your journey to health & well-being.

I also recommend finding some self-help podcasts that resonate with you. One that I find personally helpful is Christine Hassler’s Over It and On With It

Hi there!

You can always file bankruptcy if it’s that bad.

Always pee before and after sex, take cranberry and d mannose pills. Shower after

Someone help me out, what’s the sub where people post inspirational fitness progress? OP needs to scroll through that and get inspired that she is not destined to be 300 lbs, and that with dedication and focus, she can change her life

EDIT: found it, it’s r/progresspics

Okay, you're 20 - you have not ruined your financial future at all, do not worry.

With the skin stuff, you need to see a therapist - you probably have dermatillomania or some other disorder. You can also lose weight, it will take a while, but you can do it!

For the scars, you could always see a plastic surgeon when you have the money to pay for it out of pocket. However, you don't need to get rid of those scars, I bet you look nice with the scars.

For exercise - start simple. I am not near your weight, but I was uncomfortable with the amount of weight I gained from a medication. I started playing Beat Saber 20 minutes a day, and I have lost 3 pounds in the last 6 weeks (Yeah, it isn't a lot, but it is something) without much of a change in diet.

I had two broken teeth that had been repaired (to the best they could) when I was in high school. I have a tooth gap in those two front teeth. I met my girlfriend in high school over 30 years ago. I was also the computer geek.

When we got married, I was over 300 pounds. Still am (I've had periods of time when I've been below that, but mostly over 300). We got married over 25 years ago.

I didn't get my Associate's degree until over 10 years out of high school. My Bachelor's was over 25 years out of high school.

You mention permanent organ damage. I lost vision in an eye in May 2020 due to a stress event. The workup showed I had a congenital heart condition I never knew anything about.

I have always been an introvert. I had some major changes in my life since September 2021 that have caused me mental, emotional, and spiritual issues, such that I left my religion. The stress from all of this induced some additional physical issues, such that I was put on five new cardiac medications in less than four months. I found out in June I've had lifelong anxiety I didn't know about. (I didn't know what anxiety felt like, so I couldn't relate it.) The introvert has slowly started to reach out to friends and co-workers, asking if they want to go to Happy Hour somewhere. And I'm the one initiating it. And I go and I have a good time.

I'm squarely middle age on the road of life, where I see the milepost that says 50.

This is not me trying to one-up. This is me trying to tell you your life is far from over. You can become more social -- if you want to. You can meet someone who respects you for you, even if your body doesn't look like a model. You can lose the weight. I won't say it's easy. Talk to your doctor. But if you want to accomplish it, it can be done. It'll take time. Once you start to meet people who respect you for you, you'll start to feel better in your skin because you'll be surrounded by people who don't find what you look like important, just who you are.

Your life doesn't have to be storybook, following exactly what society says right when it says. And you can have a very satisfying, fulfilling life.

Please, keep the therapy going. Keep the gym going. You'll see results. It'll be slow, but it'll happen. It's been slow for me. But it's happening, and it will for you too.

Start and stop here: " Things are looking up, I’m in therapy working through my issues, I’ve discovered a love of the gym, I got my own place, I’m going to go get 2 new pets tomorrow, i have a decent job that pays really well for my age, I stood up for myself when a man at work was trying to push me around, and advocated to get someone else in the office to help me. "

​

Focus on this, and the what's next. You're working on your issues in therapy. When you get to a good spot in therapy ask for help with the picking. They can help with it! But you're doing really well right now, look at that. So keep the negative thoughts at bay and dwell on the positive. If you can't get rid of the negative, focus on something else for awhile, distract yourself, eat, sleep, and hydrate. I find I swell on negative thoughts when I'm tired, hungry, thirsty or in pain, if I take care of myself it helps immensely.

i hope the two pets are two rats

Sorry, don't get pets. You need to take care of yourself first.