The action occurred last Thursday and the regrettable consequence happened the next morning.

Last week I was feeling very emotional and lonely, obsessing about this family issue that I could not resolve. The pain was on top of mind and I needed to find a way to deal with it. First, on Wednesday, I decided to deal with my agony in a responsible way by visiting friends so I would have some company. One of them was smoking a joint. That inspired me to deal with my emotions in a far less responsible way the next day.

For some reason smoking substances doesn't work for me, so if I want to use marijuana I resort to edibles instead. That joint reminded me of previous experiences with spacecake, including a few bad trips. I recalled how I was so out of it that I could barely phrase a single thought, let alone dwell on complicated issues. That experience seemed to be just what I was looking for.

I considered the inherent risks of my plan. I had no interest in being with anyone while being stoned. I wasn't doing this for fun. I wanted to leave no leftovers behind so I wouldn't be tempted to repeat the experience. I knew that if I consumed the whole pack, that could prove to be a dangerous amount, but I figured that this would add to the desired deterrent effect so it would actually be a good thing. Also, I recalled how I handled previous bad trips by withdrawing from present company and curling up in bed alone. I figured that if I did that I would be just fine. Why would I need anyone else to be there? So I went for it.

I bought a pack of edibles and consumed them all in one evening. And I did in fact get properly stoned. The drugs once again blocked all coherent thought, and fortunately I wasn't thinking of the family issue as my mind got trapped in attempting to phrase a single line of thought over and over. Also, I was feeling so miserable that I definitely didn't feel tempted to do this again. So far so good. There were just two things I missed.

1 I have to use the bathroom frequently, also at night, due to medical reasons. 2 I didn't know that overconsumption of marijuana can cause loss of consciousness.

As I was sitting on the toilet and almost done urinating I realised that I was about to faint. I've had this feeling before, so I did what I always do and what is usually effective: I lowered my head to put it between my legs. But it was too little too late. Next thing I know I'm lying on the floor, facedown. Because I lost consciousness as I was falling down, I didn't register the fall. I wonder how much it would have hurt if I had. I know at what time I got out of bed to go to the bathroom, but I didn't check the clock when I went back to bed so I don't know how long I was lying there.

As I came to, I wasn't too uncomfortable, until I realised that I had in fact badly hurt myself. When I look in the mirror I see only a few scratches above my upper lip, on my right nostril and on my left pinky, and a blue spot on my right eye lid, but I have contusions on my left thumb and index finger (my left hand is dominant) and large parts of the right side of my face. The skin on and next to my nose still feels swollen and numb exactly like how it feels to have had local anaesthesia, except that that is supposed to wear off after a few hours and this is still going strong days after the event. Added to that I feel generally ill and very tired. I can't wait for this to be over.

Lesson learnt: don't purposely overdose on your own. You really don't know what you're in for.

TL;DR I purposely overdosed on edibles while being at home alone, which resulted in a loss of consciousness while sitting on the toilet, causing me to fall flat on my face and getting contusions that are still really bugging me a few days later. In addition to, of course, making me feel very very stupid.