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ThrobbinGoblin t1_j1myi05 wrote

I'm pretty sure that autism of some sort runs in the men in my family because they are all like this, and nowadays if I take a psychological test they see it in me. I think that the only difference is that they didn't test for it or really know much about it back then, so men just had to mask their entire lives and deal with it or die single and childless.

I know this because when I was growing up it wasn't really a well tested for thing and I had to mask. And OPs story sounds like something I would do.

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chantendo64 t1_j1nkqgy wrote

I think there’s also something to be said for it going on for generations and that being the normal for the family. My boyfriend and his dad act so similarly in some ways. Early on in our relationship I very gently suggested to him I thought he might have autism and he didn’t believe me at first because of how his dad acts and that that was their family’s normal. He ended up getting tested and was diagnosed. So I think along with the lack of testing there’s also a component of not thinking that testing is needed.

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Adjectivenounnumb t1_j1nu7hw wrote

Corollary: I didn’t realize until I was an older teen that having people come to your house to buy drugs from your parents wasn’t normal.

(Thanks, dad!)

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ThrobbinGoblin t1_j1o6ost wrote

Dude, it's pretty normal. At least in America.

I mean... Isn't it? At least like weed or mushrooms at some point if you're in the midwest. Unless your parents are the most super conservative people or they didn't have you until they were in their thirties. At least in my experience there's a good proportion of them that at least dabbled.

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Adjectivenounnumb t1_j1o7slz wrote

It was the 80s and it was cocaine and crack. :/

My father eventually ended up in federal prison for trafficking. (Yes trafficking, so bigger quantities.)

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ThrobbinGoblin t1_j1p61wg wrote

Oh yeah, that's rough. Sorry about that. All my family members only grew and sold weed back in the day, and smoked the crack. Not well off enough to traffick or do coke 😅

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