WelcomeSubstantial25 t1_j2aegwh wrote
You should have learned a lesson and kept your mouth shut, providing there was no other reason she would have found out. You screwed up, but you learned a valuable lesson. Confessing made your behavior her problem; now she has to deal with this. I know it sounds sketchy, but if you truly learned your lesson, you should have not hurt her with the truth, kept your mouth shut, and let it fade.
BLarson31 t1_j2aipo6 wrote
Ah how very moral, cheat and don't tell, all good then.
WelcomeSubstantial25 t1_j2aku0z wrote
Not saying he was moral in any way. But if realizing his mistake made him realize his relationship was precious, then he could have kept his mouth shut, invested in the relationship, and moved forward. Will he cheat again, I don’t f’ing know. If he does, he’s shite and deserves the misery. But after this one indiscretion if he doesn’t cheat anymore, she’s no worse for not knowing, he cherishes his relationship, and they carry on. But thinking because you admit guilt that she’s going to appreciate his honesty, you’re seriously overestimating people. If my girlfriend, had a one time screw with a former boyfriend, then realized it was wrong and won’t do it ever again and decides not to tell me, then the problem is solved without me being hurt and suspicious from then on. Of course, if he can’t keep it in his pants after that, he’s shite, and she should move on.
BLarson31 t1_j2amec5 wrote
I'm sure she'd love to find out later and potentially from someone else, all after more time and emotional investment.
She deserves to know and it's cruel to not tell her so that she can make a decision about continuing the relationship with all the available information.
WelcomeSubstantial25 t1_j2aqy0b wrote
As if anyone in this chat doesn’t have some secret that would screw up their life if people found out. It could be theft, physical or emotional abuse, anything against the norm. But we have no problem chastising actions of others without considering our own. So, it is to be assumed that if you were in a great relationship and your “other” made a mistake of having sex with an ex one time, but then realized it was a terrible mistake and the life alternating affect it would have if you found out, you would rather have your perfect relationship end by being told the truth about a single indiscretion. The world is filled with mistakes we all make. This is no habitual cheater. Taking them at their word they didn’t do it before and won’t do it again. Telling on yourself out of guilt, ruining a great relationship when there’s no way of your partner knowing about one indiscretion, means you have a child’s view of what’s right and what’s wrong. Grow up.
BLarson31 t1_j2arlok wrote
I'm honest with those I care about, that's what's right. What's wrong is deceiving those you care for. I think it's you that needs to grow up, my condolences to your loved ones if you see no fault in lying to them.
WelcomeSubstantial25 t1_j2ath88 wrote
Like you don’t have any secrets that you aren’t telling anyone about. You live a life of complete transparency. Seriously? I don’t think so.
BLarson31 t1_j2aufaw wrote
I don't much care if you believe me. Though I'd still recommend taking that concept to heart, not that difficult to be honest and transparent.
WelcomeSubstantial25 t1_j2axrwa wrote
When your one time mistake destroys your great relationship? Yeah. And you never lie to anyone do you. You have no secrets you don’t want to reveal. 😇
BLarson31 t1_j2b0zvw wrote
Can't be that great if your willing to even think about cheating. I see no good from lying or secrets, only harm.
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