Don't be too hard on yourself, OP, so many people have at least one terrible, unequal, traumatizing relationship in their lives. I'm just about to get out of my own, and have already done a lot of the legwork. Learn from your mistakes, and watch out for red flags in the future. You know more now than you did before you met him, so use it to protect yourself.

You did nothing wrong, OP. Abusive people know how to manipulate, or they wouldn't be nearly so good at what they do. If you haven't read Lundy Bancroft's "Why Does He Do That" I would highly suggest it. If you want a copy, DM and I'll get you a link to a free download.