Submitted by Internal-Car8922 t3_zvq50t in tifu

I say TMIFU, because it is more like "This Month I Fucked Up". But the price came due in time for Christmas.

Last year at this time, I was routinely working 100 hour weeks. I was a machine. Then, in the spring, I had a serious health crises - I almost died! - that uncovered many underlying health issues that had not been previously noted. I went from a steady diet of Mt. Dew and Monsters, as well as eating anything I liked, to a very restrictive diet meant to keep me alive past April.

In my new normal, I was no longer allowed to consume sugar, salt, alcohol, caffeine, most carbs (no bread, pasta, potatoes, etc.). No corn. No carrots. No grapefruit. No processed meats. No diary (except cured cheeses). Beyond diet, I also could no longer have any Ibuprofen or sunlight. Yes, no sunlight. Not even full moon light is allowed.

But I can still eat meats and especially fish. I can eat fats. Eggs and nuts, if I don't mind having them with no salt. All the berries I want. All the grapes and cherries I want. I can also have a little pineapple and some rice, but most other fruits are not allowed.

And I was placed on six medications and three supplements (like Vitamin D - no sun means I can't make it for myself.) It took months to acclimate to these radical changes in my life. I could barely manage a 40 hour work week for most of the spring and early summer.

But my strength returned. By my six month follow-up in early December, it was noted that I had lost 75 lbs (34 KG) since my last appointment (I'm still obese) and my A10C was down to 5.2 (normal) from 9.8 (pre-diabetic) six months before, among other improvements. The doctor was so happy, and said "See ya' in six months!"

Meanwhile, I was back up to working 60 hour weeks by the start of November, and with Christmas looming large and peak season in full gear, I had started working 70 to 80 hour weeks since mid November.

So, I fucked up.

First fuck up: I don't have to worry so much about sugar! Yeah. You know that human thing where you get really good results by doing things that work, and then stop doing them and your results change? I declared December my cheat month. I had behaved so very well for so long, and I am working so many hours that it makes it really hard to always get food that is strictly on my diet. So while peak season and Christmas with all its treats and sugars was going on, I was going to wing it a bit - still no caffeinated sodas or sugary drinks mind you, just some pumpkin pie and cake. The price for eating dairy is still too high, so no ice cream, but I have had some potatoes. I really had missed potatoes and apple pie the most of all! I'm not going to lie to you: I single handedly consumed two large Costco apple pies during the first three weeks of December. I figured that January and the end of peak season, I would go back to the full restrictive diet.

Second fuck up: There is a pre-packed fish product that I have treated myself to during this year. It includes a nice piece of fish, some grains (mostly rice and farrow) and veggies, and some seasoned butter. And it goes from frozen to ready in the microwave - a lot of seafood does not cook well in the microwave. The store I buy these from had a glut of them, and put them on sale for "buy one, get one free", and at that price point, I filled up the freezer with them. And being busy, I started eating them once or twice a day, instead of once or twice a week.

Third fuck up: Because of cost and no time to deal with it, I was not eating my normal supply of fresh berries and cherries and grapes.

Fourth fuck up: I mistimed the shopping for Christmas Eve dinner. Our family follows my wife's country's traditions by celebrating more on Christmas Eve than on Christmas. We have always opened gifts on December 24, and have a huge feast as well. It always must contain 24 different dishes. We decided to have a quality roast large enough for the whole gathered family as the centerpiece, and so I bought a $50 roast from Costco in anticipation. This is where I really fucked up! I was over eager, and thought we were closer to the day. A few days later, and upon closer inspection, I realized that the roast's sell-by date was December 17. There was no way it would stay good until Christmas Eve without being frozen! So I suggested to my Beautiful Wife she make a practice run of it, and I'd get a fresh one around December 21. So just the two of us were eating a really rich, savory roast for an entire week, since it was a lot of meat for just two people...

So how was all this a fuck up?

By December 22, I had a major gout attack. The worst one for many years! I couldn't even get out of bed. I could not drive. I could barely use the restroom. I was in so much pain! My Beautiful Wife got me cherries - they really are the best thing for it. In the past, I would use ibuprofen to help with the swelling, but I no longer can. My diet got really strict really fast all over again. Only for now, no fish or beef or fats either.

And so it was that I got to eat green salad, broccoli and Brussel sprouts for Christmas Eve dinner while everyone else enjoyed roast and ham and so many fine and rich things that I would have so loved to have shared with them. Sigh. It did smell really yummy.

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TL;DR: I gave myself gout for Christmas and had to watch others enjoy our Christmas Eve feast while eating very basic veggies.

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Comments

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evs-chris t1_j1qnlkt wrote

ngl, got to the no sunlight and lots of fish bit and thought you were gonna say your fuckup was killing your friend for a ring he found in a river because he wouldn't give it to you and it was your birthday

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Internal-Car8922 OP t1_j1qouvf wrote

Thank you for the laughs!

I am seriously a certified creature of the dark, and one of the pills makes me belch oddly obnoxious noises, but it's closer to Rick (from Rick and Morty) then Gollum.

Just to add to the fun, my birthday is right before Christmas, and the first signs of the gout started that day, so... What have you got in your pockets?

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PrinceBarin t1_j1qxngr wrote

Oh my dude I get gout plenty (a lot less now) and am diabetic so I can totally emphasise with you and how much the attacks suuuuck.

I always try to keep a pack of frozen raspberry in the freezer just in case. And being on progout as a preventative measure seems to mostly work.

Try not to sit and stew in your thoughts, by the sounds of it you've done amazingly and I'm super proud of you. Your learning what your limits are and what your body can take.

Maybe have a get together in January or February. It might not be the same but you can still have that Christmas-y moment.

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Internal-Car8922 OP t1_j1qz3ow wrote

If only....

Many of the specialties I had to pass on are only on offer around Christmas time. But I still thoroughly enjoyed my family and the their enjoyment of the gifts and food. And the apple pie was nice while it lasted.

I mean, hey: I'm still alive. That's worth more than a meal!

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XavierHigdon t1_j1rc8vi wrote

Gout? All this for gout? What the fuck is gout that it's so god damn extreme? Who cares about cancer, how do I avoid gout?

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Witty_Net_9472 t1_j1rey9t wrote

Ouch, gout sucks. Had my first one this year. I drank baking soda and water and it helped with the gout. I used 1/8 teaspoon of baking soda in a glass of water

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Internal-Car8922 OP t1_j1rprgq wrote

Gout is extremely painful. Cancer can be too, but normally takes a while to get there. Gout goes from a twinge in the ball of your foot to "PLEASE CUT MY FOOT OFF NOW!!!" in about a day.

Gout won't kill you. It just makes you wish you were dead. If you have any doubts, a Google image search for it should convince you otherwise.

I pray you never get to know how bad it can be and successfully avoid it your whole life.

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Eyeballwizard_ t1_j1rrg2w wrote

Please do not give this a go if you already have high blood pressure. Baking soda = sodium bicarbonate. You do not want additional sodium if youā€™re already hypertensive and especially not when youā€™re in a fragile state.

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Internal-Car8922 OP t1_j1s443q wrote

The sunlight thing is unrelated to the gout. Just more of the practical joke that has been 2022. It's a form of eczema that I never heard of before where you suddenly become allergic to sunlight. 30 seconds of sunlight, three minutes of shade, five minutes of full moon light and I get hives and rashes that look just like Poison Oak. And that itch like crazy! Two days later, and the skin peels like a third degree sunburn. It's just not groovy. I get to wear full head-to-toe coverage anytime there is sun around.

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PrinceBarin t1_j1sadnl wrote

Gouts bad but not comparable. It's a week or two of agony but you'll keep going.

It's basically a build up of acid crystals in your joints mainly toes ankles and fingers that grind and crunch in the joint.

To avoid it less red meat, less sugars less seafood. More water. Try not to be an islander as they have a bit of a disposition to it.

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Pandalite t1_j1skuxu wrote

FYI 9.8 A1c is not pre-diabetic, that is well over the cutoff for diabetes my friend (6.5 is the cutoff; 5.7-6.4 is prediabetes). Good luck with the journey my friend, glad you're doing better!

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Internal-Car8922 OP t1_j1smncj wrote

Hm. Doc said "Pre-Diabetic", so I may have remembered the number from six months ago wrong. The 5.2 from this month is more certain. And much happier than six months ago, regardless the actual number.

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Thank you.

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Internal-Car8922 OP t1_j1spmwp wrote

Like I said, it's been awhile since I had a gout attack. I had a mild one for a few days last year. Too much tuna. Not enough cherries. Easily fixed.

This is the first one since everything went sideways in the spring. And it was on the heels of eating so much more sugar, fish and beef than usual, and also no berries, cherries or grapes. I really was asking for it. Which is why I consider this to be a fuck up, and not just more of the bad health this year has seen. I did this. Beats head on wall.

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jgia t1_j1syauv wrote

No clue what your conditions are other than gout. Hopefully you are on something like allopurinol to lower your uric acid levels. I have suffered with gout for about 20 years, since my early 20s.i ended up having a toe amputated after the uric acid crystals ate away the bone in the toe. My gout was untreated for several years. After the amputation, I went to a rheumatologist and was put on indocin and allopurinol. The indocin was discontinued after the uric acid levels decreased. Now I just do 1 allopurinol a day and have not had a more serious attack than a slight soreness in 15 years.

In the words of my rheumatologist, there is no reason to suffer with gout. Indocin is used to treat acute attacks. Allopurinol is to lower uric acid levels and prevent attacks.

I am sure you have some other stuff happening too that complicates things, but please take care of yourself and see a rheumatologist about the gout. Uncontrolled uric acid levels can/will damage your joints and kidneys.

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TheLastMongo t1_j1sz79p wrote

Oh man, I feel ya. Not gout but Iā€™ve got other medical issues that have restrictive diets. The bitch of it is, I have to cut out certain foods due to the gastric bypass and other foods for the kidney failure. And the two diets are opposites. Too much of either and a bad day is had by all.

Eventually they sent me to a dietician and after explaining the diets and her looking into it she had no idea what to do with me (a sentiment shared by most of my doctors at one time or another). Basically her advice was, find a happy medium. Well no shit what do you think Iā€™ve been trying to do?

Good youā€™re feeling better, but I feel ya that the restrictive diets are a pain and sometimes you just want to take a break from it.

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Internal-Car8922 OP t1_j1tcclt wrote

This is a really thoughtful response. Thank you! I had my first gout attack over twenty years ago. I have mainly controlled it by diet. But I love fish and usually get in trouble by going overboard with it. But it is normally a mild attack and quickly resolved. This time fish was only one of the combined factors of stupid that have earned me the second worse attack I've ever had.

Maybe the concept of a "cheat month" was very poorly conceived....

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PowderKegSuga t1_j1tv8o5 wrote

Ah Kroger and their frozen swordfish dinners. Now I gotta go get one and pick out the farrow (damn you, texture issues).

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Eyeballwizard_ t1_j1vt9m8 wrote

Thanks for bringing that up because you mentioned in your post that you feel you can eat ā€œas many cherries as you wantā€. Iā€™m not sure if thatā€™s correct. Although one of the safer fruits for diabetes, you should still be taken them in in moderation!

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Internal-Car8922 OP t1_j1wbsml wrote

My doctor has said I'm allowed to eat as many blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, cherries and grapes as I want. But then, I'm pre-diabetic, not diabetic. If I become fully diabetic, that may change, but it looks like as long as I behave, that is not likely to happen. This month was a lesson in consequences that accompany misbehaving.

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