TIFU by asking about my wife's dog

Submitted by scruffyfatguy t3_zuayk9 in tifu

Background, me(40M) and my wife(44F) have been together almost 17 years, married 16, 3 teenage kids. Love at first sight kinda thing.
A favorite story of ours is that she used her chihuahua Tinkerbell(pre Pris Hilton fyi) as a barometer to Guage people. If her dog didn't like you, she probably wouldn't like you either.
Tink used to bark at all her exes and strangers, only liked a handful of good people. The night we met, she brought me home, and she warned me about the dog before we entered. I went in and sat on the couch and Tink crawled up in my lap, demanding pets and nuzzling all over me as my now wife's jaw hit the floor.
I pretty much never left. Moved in 3 weeks later and we're pregnant 5 months after meeting (whoops!)

Talking this morning(Christmas eve) I stupidly asked my wife if tink hadn't liked me, would our lives be different? She said yes, I wouldn't have been allowed back.

Wouldn't have fallen in love, wouldn't have had kids, wouldn't have gotten married...kinda butthurt over this, but thank God Tinkerbell deemed me a good dude.

TL:DR asked my wife of 17 years about her dog and found out we wouldn't have been together if her dog who hated everyone didn't like me.

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jungerfrosch t1_j1i3a3k wrote

At the time, she didn't know you, so it's not the man of 17yrs that she would have rejected, but someone a little more than a stranger.

Now if she would get rid of you today over a dog, that's an entirely different thing.

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Akitiki t1_j1j94xe wrote

Same! My old dog was also a judge of character. They know.

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Tanagrabelle t1_j1i0o7h wrote

Tink was, indeed, a good judge of character. Are you doing okay, though, that you're upset about this?

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scruffyfatguy OP t1_j1i2biv wrote

Yeah. Not depressed or anything, just a little hurt that our whole future together came down to chance. That dog liked NO ONE.

FYI, told my oldest(15f) the story a couple minutes ago and her reply was "dont ruin Christmas over this". It feels good to know I have such a supportive daughter.

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No-Butterscotch5980 t1_j1i2q27 wrote

Pretty much everything comes down to random chance.

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JadedPin3925 t1_j1iegzm wrote

This⬆️

It’s all chance and kismet my dude

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Otie1983 t1_j1j5q3e wrote

Absolutely. My husband and I often joke about all the random chance that has brought us together, and given us our daughter.

If you really want to get deep into chance - if the asteroid that caused the Cretaceous mass extinction had hit just a few minutes earlier or later, it would have changed the location and angle of impact just enough that things could have gone significantly differently.

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HezzeroftheWezzer t1_j1in0rp wrote

>u/scruffyfatguy
>
>Our whole future together came down to chance. That dog liked NO ONE.

Not true! Tink liked you!

Chihuahua's can be temperamental little a-holes, as we all know. And yet this dog knew immediately - as dogs do - that you were good people. That's not chance. That was a discerning little doggo.

Stop overthinking this, hug your wife, be thankful for your awesome family, and give a little toast to Tink tonight.

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RubyJuneRocket t1_j1ipnhq wrote

It wasn’t chance - it was that you made her comfortable and her dog knew that and so her dog was comfortable with you. It wasn’t the dog deciding to like you, it was HER and the dog followed suit.

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Spiersy_ t1_j1j5jvw wrote

Everything comes down to chance. The fact that you're living today is the result of a billion little chances that could've gone the other way, but didn't.

I mean, there's an endless list of things that had to go "right" for you to even just meet your wife. You'd be butthurt for the rest of your life if you thought about all the things that could've prevented you from being together.

Best not to worry about things you can't change, and just thank Tink for making the right choice.

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RelsircTheGrey t1_j1ib7b8 wrote

>just a little hurt that our whole future together came down to chance.

Depending on how long she had Tink before meeting you...there's a good chance that had that dog needed to go outside to crap five minutes later or earlier just one time...it could have set events into motion differently enough that you never even met. Look at it that way, maybe.

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scalpingsnake t1_j1j3tnv wrote

It's like asking her, 'if I was born in another country, would we have gotten together' Of course the answer is no, think about all the potential life long partners you could of had if you were born somewhere else.

We are all a slave to circumstance, don't be sad how you gott here, just appreciate what you do have.

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M1DN1GHTDAY t1_j1iw1xf wrote

Your daughter sounds like she tells ya like it is :)

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keeperkairos t1_j1ixonq wrote

If the dog didn’t exist, it was still down to several other layers of chance.

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jw3417 t1_j1j309t wrote

Hey love that she was very honest. That is probably why you guys work so well. And it sounds like she passed it on to your daughter too. All the love and happiness to you and what sounds like a great loving family. ❤️

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fleetoo1 t1_j1jrgww wrote

Think of it this way, if that godsend of a dog just accepted anyone then you wouldnt of had a chance because she would already of been snapped up. Haha puppers chose mums suiter

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qlz19 t1_j1hylx5 wrote

Why would you be upset that she wouldn’t have dated you if her best friend didn’t like you?

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Novemcinctus t1_j1i0hj5 wrote

Right? Personally I prefer to use my chickens. When I see a person walking down the road I say “girls, scatter out if this person is good, gather together if they’re evil.” If the hens scatter out, I know not to be be afraid, if they gather round, I get my shotgun and chase the person up past the end of my property line. Same thing

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scruffyfatguy OP t1_j1i2v4c wrote

Tink liked NO ONE. To know that I would have been pushed aside makes me feel uncomfortable. We built an amazing life together. It would have all been for naught.

Also, long term relationships she had before me the dog hated him as well, but he was allowed to remain...

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SmartForASimpelton t1_j1im2px wrote

That is why she trusts the dog you dope.

Dog didnt like him and it didnt work out

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MrScrib t1_j1iu53a wrote

The real FU is your interpretation of things.

When I was about 10 my mom told me she wished she never had met my dad. When asked about me and my siblings, she was like - eh. This is not what's happening here.

You are literally overthinking this to find the bad in it. Reframing it to make yourself some kind of victim here. You're not, she's not, and the dog did you a solid.

You had ZERO investment at that time - none of anything you had happened had happened yet. And unless she's saying she wished the dog picked differently, all this means is that her system worked.

In fact, that's the thing to take away from all of this: her system worked. So be glad she had a system that worked for her (for both of you, really). Whether it was a good system doesn't matter.

And stop framing it like she would have thrown away everything you built up just because the dog had a bad day - you hadn't built up anything at that time and no one can see into the future like that.

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Bubbagumpredditor t1_j1i0xzp wrote

Look, if the dog hadn't liked you it would have been because you're an asshole and none of that stuff would have happened anyway.

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BroccoliPrince t1_j1i1ev4 wrote

Honestly, people underestimate the intuition of animals. Plus, even discounting that, animals are often a good barometer for checking a person's... I dunno, understanding of boundaries and consent.

Most (domestic) animals enjoy company, they enjoy the company of humans, but they have limits - they don't want to be pet a certain way and will snap if you ignore their warnings, or they don't like being snuck up on, whatever. The people they dislike are the people who refuse to learn to read their cues, and the people they like are the ones who make an effort to interact on their level. If a person can't get along with domestic animals, I usually take that as a red flag.

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Outrageous_Cod2194 t1_j1i3wel wrote

You are overestimating it.

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BroccoliPrince t1_j1icr93 wrote

Oops, replied the wrong thing to the wrong comment.

I'm actually not. Animals are a good barometer for a variety of reasons, only some of which were mentioned in my original comment. They respond to kindness, respect, and consideration, which are traits I personally value, and therefore a domestic animal's response to a person is something I'm generally inclined to trust. Maybe you value different things.

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Outrageous_Cod2194 t1_j1id748 wrote

Science doesnt back up your claims.

Google: "Kluger Hans" its a story about overestimating animals

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SmartForASimpelton t1_j1imjjr wrote

Bro what is your point?

The exact reason why it was able to do this was because it was incredibly good at reading people

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WorkMeBaby1MoreTime t1_j1igpe5 wrote

That's actually a great story. I don't think you should be bummed. Your wife's dog had probably repeated proven to be a good judge of character. We've all heard the stories about dogs judging people and how they're frequently right.

My girl<space>friend has 2 dogs, Belle and Betsy. Belle is scrawny lab wiggle butt, all up in your face, always happy. Betsy is a rescue hound that was abused, very flighty and unlikely to allow you to pet her. I'm very much a dog person/dog whisperer and I kinda take it personal that I can't make that damn dog like me. I know it's just the dog, but still, dammit ...

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RubyJuneRocket t1_j1ipjnu wrote

What people really are expressing when they say something like this is - my dog knew I loved you and could sense that comfort level with you and so she was comfortable - it has nothing to do with the dog “picking” you and everything to do with her getting confirmation you were a good one by her dogs reaction.

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Internet-Dick-Joke t1_j1j20ia wrote

Hey OP, instead of getting yourself down thinking about could haves, let's talk about what actually happened - out of all the people your wife had introduced to Tinkerbell over the years, every ex boyfriend, out of all of the guys Tinkerbell could have decided were good enough for her human, you were the one she chose, the one that she deemed good enough for your wife, better for her than every other man she had brought home before. All those other guys were judged and found lacking, but you? You passed the test. And that is something to be proud of.

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weedgay t1_j1ixy5g wrote

This is some “ would you still love me if I was a worm” kind of shit

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PracticeAsleep t1_j1jil0w wrote

Had a bud who had a Great Dane. His philosophy was if the dog won't sniff it he wouldn't lick it. That dig sniffed every woman he brought home.

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magoomba92 t1_j1jnugy wrote

And this is why I always carry some doggie pepperoni in my pockets.

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Limp_Will16 t1_j1l1dxd wrote

This is the same philosophy that makes me bring food when I’m meeting someone for the first time. Happy tummy, happy everyone.

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sonia72quebec t1_j1iy69a wrote

Pets knows. I volunteer at a cat shelter and we have cats avoiding some people all the time. I remember a couple of people coming in to see a cat they saw on her Facebook post and the cat sniff them and went "No thanks" and left.

Tinkerbell thought you were a good person and since you have been together for almost 17 years, he was right.

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ZurcRegor t1_j1l6cgf wrote

I'd spoil that little doggie

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1Sluggo t1_j1i5h0r wrote

r/lostredditors.

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