Submitted by babygem84 t3_zv7w7b in tifu

Not today, almost 30 years ago (fuck, I'm old) but I'm feeling the effects of my FU today.

Back in the day, 10 year old me was the eldest kid and, in my head at least, the ruler of the roost. As is typical with siblings my younger brother (about 7 at the time) didn't agree with this and therefore we loathed each other.

His goal in life was to annoy me as much as possible and mine was to put him back in his place. Our parents loved this phase :s

One day I was on a very important phone call with a friend. It was the 90s so land-line only but we were fancy and had a cordless phone. I strutted about the house acting like I was closing the deal of the century on this call and my brother saw an opportunity.

I can't say with any certainty exactly what he did to annoy me, but you know when something just infuriates you like deep in your soul and you can feel it build in your whole body? Yeah, that happened to me. I'd like to confirm that I don't have anger issues but on this particular day, little me did not have the wherewithal to just not react.

Instead I rattled the heavy, 90s cordless phone off his head. Right between the eyes.

I obviously got punished severely for this but a few years later my brother and I began to see eye to eye and teenage us were actually good friends.

Almost 30 years later we're all grown up and my brother is married with 2 kids, 5F and 8F. About a month ago I was at their place just shooting the shit when out of nowhere 8F turns to me and says "auntie [my name], why did you hit my daddy on the head with a phone?"

It took me a minute to work out wtf she was talking about but it turns out my brother told them the tales of our youth and found this fucking hilarious.

"I don't know [niece's name], I guess because I wasn't expecting to be quizzed about it by his offspring 30 years later."

But it goes on, and on, and on. Every time I see them now I get asked about it. And she's clever with it too. Reading her a book before bed? She weaves it in to the story - "oh is that like when you hit my dad in the head with a phone?" or if I'm complaining about my job to her mum - "are you going to hit your boss in the head with a phone like you did my dad? "

Her plan was confirmed today. Christmas Day. At the dinner table. She was sitting next to me and asked "is the worst thing you've done hitting my dad in the head with a phone?" and I replied you ask me about that all the time.

As casual as you like she says "yeah I'm on a mission to ask you about it every time I see you."

At least I'm prepared now. And I'm looking forward to seeing how this mission encourages her creative side I guess?

TL;DR sibling rivalry so fierce leading to intense interrogation by the next generation



You must log in or register to comment.

twohedwlf t1_j1nndv7 wrote

This clearly is an opening to come up with some intricate and ridiculous story for why. Preferably involving chinchillas.


certain_people t1_j1nphph wrote

Come up with a new explanation every time she asks


newwriter365 t1_j1o2mzl wrote

Your brother is paying her to ask.


aussie_nub t1_j1pdq8b wrote

"Yup, and I'd do it again to any little snot that annoys me in the future." then give her the dirty stare you've ever given anyone.

Edit: And don't forget to pull your mobile phone out and wave it around every time you see her for the next 6 months.

Obviously don't actually hurt her, but you've gotta fight fire with fire here.


Squigglepig52 t1_j1qhmpc wrote

My younger sister used to babysit a little boy. Kid followed me around constantly, asking me questions. Because my summer job had me working nights, this was not fun for me.

One day, he asks if our parents ever spanked us, and I said no. "Well, how did they punish you when you were bad?"

So, I pointed to the corner of the patio, brick walls on two sides, and a pile of spare bricks. I told him that, when we were bad, Mom made us stand in the corner, and she would throw chunks of brick at us. We were allowed to dodge, but if we got hit, that was our punishment.

He scoffed at this. Well, my sister has a scar between her eyes, from chicken pox. I said "Ryan, you know that scar sister has? Brick. She was too slow one day".

Well, he was playing with one of Mom's emery board nail files, and when I told him that, his eyes got big and he broke the file in half. I was like, Oh, dear, that's a brick waiting to happen.

Afew minutes later, I go inside to talk to my Mom, and ryan comes running in "Please, Mrs Squig, please don't make me stand in a corner and throw bricks at me! I'm sorry!".

In the end, he told his parents the story, and they started having my sister care for him at their own home.


DayumnDamnation t1_j1rfxu5 wrote

Halfway through reading I thought you just finished your life sentence