I feel this, and feel bad for both of you. After 9/11, a lot of jobs got hit by the recession, mine one of them. Just out of college, no one hiring, no one giving any assistance. I'll admit that I had no other way to survive than to steal. And I did. I figured out what was both easy to take and easy to sell quickly for decent value.

For several months, I worked stores. Going in with a coat or jacket, putting it in my cart. Blu-Ray had just come out, and the discs were expensive. And a lot of high-dollar boxed sets had come out. My tactic was to covertly find and get a large number, find a camera-free area, and store them in the coat sleeves. At some point, I would leave my cart to go to the bathroom. This has the advantage of breaking the legality of any surveillance, as well as giving me a window to remove the anti-theft devices from the cases.

Finish a bit of shopping and leave, making sure to be well dressed, friendly, act normal. Grab the bag in one hand, pick up the coat, leave. Then go to the next town over and sell them to an entertainment store that offered 50-75% of retail for popular used discs. Cover story? I was buying movie collections off of eBay cheap, keeping what I wanted for my own library, selling the rest for a profit and repeating.

I was never caught. I made enough to pay my rent and bills for months. I kept a list of what I took and the values, and paid it back anonymously when I was able. And when I started working for the main store I hit, I got a shock. My exploits were a training story from loss prevention. I got to sit uncomfortably while our head of LP described in detail what had been happening, how much I had taken, theories on what tactics had been used. But that they never figured out who it was, had no pictures or evidence (because I made certain to never leave any), and that the only saving grace is that the thief paid the exact value of the theft a couple years later. In an envelope no finger prints, a short note of explaination printed on generic paper, and a bunch of cash in it. It was all explained from the perspective of never knowing what a criminal will do.

It was a time of shame, constant fear of being arrested at literally any moment, and desperation. And the time: when you are performing a well-planned theft, everything takes so much time. Casing the store, learning the camera areas and habits of the LP folks. Performing the theft. Cleaning the cases of anti-theft devices. Getting out clean. Guessing the value of what you have to make sure it's enough to justify making the trip across county lines to fence it (and inhibit police communications).

It also created some nasty habits. Once I was able to work and make a living again, I found myself pocketing items. It wasn't that I needed them, it was just habit. Even over a decade and a half later, the tendency is still there. It's mainly just an intrusive thought, but it comes up. And not being used to simply having money. If I needed food, I could just go buy it, rather than spend half a day planning, executing, and profiting from a theft. It was weird.

So, long story short, don't start the first step down any path you're not comfortable walking to the end of, because you'll find yourself further along it than you ever thought when you take a look back.