For starters, if you need her there by 1:00 tell her 12:15.

Hormones may be why you said anything, but they didn't invent the things you remembered and brought up. You could try playing it off like "hormones have me blowing things out of proportion, but also things I didn't think bothered me apparently do."

You may need to find a way to communicate instead of bottling things up.

And yes, if you decide to go to big gatherings before traveling/holidays you are risking Christmas for a night of fun. You chose to roll the dice, don't blame your mom for pointing out a lesson that should be learned. I'm not risking my kids missing seeing the grandparents for belated Christmas by going out new years eve when we have a flight the next day.

Admit you're wrong for the things you're wrong about, apologize for how you handled things, express what you do appreciate, and propose a way you can better communicate in the future. That should help.