TIFU (update) by sleeping with my aunts ex

Submitted by Sarcastic-pickle2 t3_ztdk98 in tifu

So I had to make a new account to post the update since my dad took my tablet away and I have no idea what my password was

I told my aunt and apologized. She had a huge fight with her fiance and they broke up. The fight was so bad that everyone in the family found out what we have done.

My dad kicked me out. He only let me take my phone with me. I'm still in highschool so it's impossible to find a full time job and a place to stay. I called other family members and none of them would let me stay with them. Ironically the only person who would let me stay at her home was my aunt. tho my uncle tried to convince her to kick me out she basically told him that she thinks I'm a moron not evil and I deserve to be punished but not homeless. So right now I'm staying with my aunt. I'm grounded for the next 5 months and after that she'll decided whether it was enough or I need more punishment. I'm only allowed to go to school and my job and I've been uninvited from my dad's christmas but my aunt is way too nice to me which makes me more embarrased. Honestly I wish she would yell at me or something like that.

TL;DR : I told my aunt that I slept with her fiance after they broke up. She broke up with him. My dad kicked me out and I'm living with my aunt now

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TrophiesAndGold t1_j1d7amk wrote

Your aunt seems like an Incredibly level headed person, thankfully… Unless everyone is ok with it and moved on, it’s not a good idea to get involved with friends/family members ex’s.. especially only a couple of months after a relationship has ended, it just shows incredible disrespect for the person your related too, you owe your aunt.

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Sarcastic-pickle2 OP t1_j1d7t1b wrote

Yeah my aunt is amazing. I thought she is gonna hate me forever but here I am sitting in her living room and writing this. She basically raised me after my mom left and she still sees me as her daughter. What I did was stupid and I'll do anything to show her how sorry I am

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TrophiesAndGold t1_j1d9slf wrote

I hope everything works out well with your aunt and with the rest of your family and they can come around.. your aunt is right, it was stupid but you definitely didn’t deserve to be left homeless over it.. so hopefully things can work out for you

28

RagnaroknRoll3 t1_j1flkmq wrote

Your aunt has a very Red Foreman attitude. You definitely fucked up and are a dumbass here, but you're not a bad person.

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Sarcastic-pickle2 OP t1_j1gioni wrote

> a very Red Foreman attitude

A what?

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mehgcap t1_j1gj50b wrote

I'm pretty sure this is a reference to That Seventies Show. The father of one of the main characters, Eric, is a rough, short-tempered, stern man. At the same time, he still loves his family and can be very sweet. Tough but fair comes to mind.

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archiangel t1_j1gp0er wrote

You are also in high school, so I’d say you were also a victim in some ways. I am in no ways trying to demean you, but generally people aren’t done growing up mentally or emotionally until their late twenties, if even that. Regardless of how things went down, you probably weren’t mature enough to be of fully sound judgement on what you did. I cringe now at some of the things I did in high school and college when I thought I was such an adult. Yes you messed up and learned consequences, but the bigger villain here is the ex - even if you had come onto him, he should’ve been the one to walk away. Also in your telling it sounds like you slept with the XF because you thought they had broken up, when they hadn’t. If this is the case he also lied to you in a big way.

I’m glad you have the chance to mend your relationship with your aunt. And I’m glad you told her and she is rid of that piece of trash. Hopefully the rest of the family will calm down about things too soon.

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BloodSpades t1_j1dfcvn wrote

Yeah, you fucked up, but honestly it sounds like your aunt dodged a bullet by ditching his predatory ass if he was so quick to jump in bed with a barely legal kid. Also, your family SUCKS if they’re getting mad at you and not the asshole that should have been old enough to know better and make wiser decisions. Disgusting behavior on their part honestly….

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Sarcastic-pickle2 OP t1_j1dgwk3 wrote

They are mad at him a lot more than they are mad at me Also I know my family. They'll be mad at me for a while and then they'll forgive me

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metalmaxilla t1_j1dls8b wrote

Yeah, this situation is more of a function of your aunt's ex than a reflection on you. Honestly, if I was your aunt, I'd be thankful that he fully declared himself to be a creep and a bullet dodged before legally binding herself to him. He made many bad decisions... aside from sleeping with someone who's barely legal, he failed to recognize that action was going to poison the well so-to-speak with your aunt. He should've never re-entered a relationship with her after that. Surely this is a big lesson for you, but he's the one who should've known better. He should've turned you away.

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[deleted] t1_j1f966a wrote

[removed]

−19

vorticon_mafia t1_j1g2qqe wrote

Holy shitsticks. Did you just use the words ‘gave it up to you’ to describe the adult man statutorily raping a teenager, who ALSO happens to be his very newly ex’s NIECE?!

I am so concerned for you. Please seek therapy and tell them what you said here.

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killedjoy t1_j1gwbcy wrote

I truly hope that guy is just commenting like that to satisfy some online image he thinks he has. If he carries thoughts like that in real life, I pity him and feel bad for anyone who encounters him.

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vorticon_mafia t1_j1jdxvi wrote

god i hope so too,and if not, i hope he snaps out of .....

gestures vaguely

that.

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yamisensei t1_j1gdhea wrote

OP said her aunt SO is hot and wanted to get her boots rocked because they separated.

0

ricked_ways t1_j1dz1vv wrote

I did see your last post and know your 18 but like, the fact that you refer to things like being grounded and being in high-school really brings it home that your still a kid. If I were in your families position, my anger would be directed at the 31 year old man who somehow thought it appropriate to sleep with his ex niece who is still in high school, not you. Anyway, I hope everything works out but yeah thats a shitty bill all around.

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InfiniteCalendar1 t1_j1fldez wrote

Exactly he should be to blame if anything as that is an abuse of power.

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GsTSaien t1_j1gn2rl wrote

Yup, she was a dumb kid; he is a predator.

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2_short_Plancks t1_j1f2ecm wrote

I'm a dad with a daughter around your age. I'm sorry to say but your dad is a raging asshole. He should understand that as a young adult you are going to make mistakes and to help you, not give you a wildly disproportionate punishment.

If my daughter was in that situation (especially with a guy more than ten years older than her), I'd be wanting to protect her from the fallout, not throw her to the wolves. The fact that you don't have your mother to support you just makes it especially egregious. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. If you feel like it is unfair - well, it actually is.

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Coco_Dirichlet t1_j1fapzd wrote

Your father still has to pay child support if your aunt is going to take you in. You are in high school so the fact that you are 18 is irrelevant. You can take him to court for it and he might have to pay until you graduate college, depending on where you live.

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SizzlenBacon t1_j1dyf3n wrote

Your Aunt understands that there was grooming happening and a 31yr old knows better than a 18yr old. Also if you knew you slept with your gf’s niece why would you get back together with gf. It’s weird to me. Also the family shunning you is ridiculous. That’s why a lot young people get into relationships with older guys. Family is suppose to protect each other.

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SizzlenBacon t1_j1dyzgc wrote

My mind is racing like what if you ending up homeless and the 31yr old took you in? My mind is going everywhere with this.

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nacari0 t1_j1ec9x1 wrote

Whats wrong with ur dad? Kicking out his own daughter like that, making her homeless. Shame on him.

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Sarcastic-pickle2 OP t1_j1ef75k wrote

No my dad would never make me homeless he knew my aunt would take me in. He loves me too much to do that to me

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Xeni966 t1_j1eok2y wrote

He kicked you out. Knowing you're in school and have no full time job. "Oh my daughter slept with my sister's fiancee when they weren't together at the time. Get out of my house. I'm sure someone else will take you in even though I haven't checked." Loves you too much? What? I know it's not my place and I'm not there but dude, he kicked you out for what I would say was a small mistake when you're at an age where you're figuring things out

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Sarcastic-pickle2 OP t1_j1gjntg wrote

That wasn't exactly how he saw it. It was my fault. I went after him the day after they broke up

My dad gets angry easily and overreacts but he cools down

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Limp_Will16 t1_j1emtqk wrote

Nope. Sorry. That still makes no sense.

Did they talk? Is that part of your punishment to live with her? Like the idea was to make you think you were risking homelessness but the family knew your aunt was going to take you in?

Otherwise how would your dad know that the victim of your poor choice would offer such a generous solution?

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Sarcastic-pickle2 OP t1_j1eo21a wrote

Because she is basically my mom. I knew she would let me in when I showed up at her home. I mean yeah she was my last option because I was too embarrased to go there but I knew she would let me in

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rhymes_with_snoop t1_j1hc7ml wrote

It's also shitty of your dad to put your aunt in that position, making her choose between living with the person that helped torpedo her life or leaving her niece to fend for herself on the streets. It shouldn't be left to your aunt to punish you or take care of you after this, and if your dad figured she would let you in and thought his anger at what you did was more valid than her anger at actually being the wronged party, he sounds insufferable.

Tl;dr: your dad's a dick, and not just to you.

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nacari0 t1_j1ehmtb wrote

Okay my bad but still rough to throw u out of the house like that. Anyway the fault lies at this other guy in his 30s for making it awkward after the deed, so much can be solved when ppl just talk

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iagolavor t1_j1dckkx wrote

Hopefully this teaches you something about human relationships. It's not black and white. Even though they were separated when it happened, they both obviously still had feelings for one another(which is why they apparently later on got engaged etc). There are 8 billion people in the world, don't go shitting where you eat. There are plenty of people out there, try not to fuck your other relationships in the future because you wanted casual sex with exes of people you care about.

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Blackfire01001 t1_j1duea6 wrote

And on the other end of the spectrum two consenting adults decided to have a relationship when neither of them was in a relationship. On ethical reasons him being much older than her absolutely can signify grooming, it doesn't mean it actually happened. I think the family is just overreacting and sticking her nose in shit that's not their business

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Adolf_Einstein_007 t1_j1d2m9i wrote

Drop a link of the previous post ?!

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Sarcastic-pickle2 OP t1_j1d3dwq wrote

I don't know how to find the link but here is the post

My aunt and her ex boyfriend broke up a few months ago. I thought they were done. They had some really bad fights and decided to end things. I always thought he was hot but I never said or did anything but after they broke up I thought why not? We only did it once. After a while they got back together. I didn't think much of it but now they are fcking engaged. My aunt doesn't know about us and it's so fcking weird for him to be my uncle. He is literally avoiding me and everyone is getting suspicious about why we can't even stay in the same room. If my aunt finds out she is gonna hate me

Btw I'm 18 he is 31

TL;DR : I slept with my aunts ex thinking they were done but now they are back together and are engaged. My aunt doesn't know and if she finds out she is gonna hate me and probably break up with him again

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OkVolume1 t1_j1dfn3x wrote

31 should never go into 18. That's not good math.

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XavierHigdon t1_j1e82rs wrote

It fits half way.

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AjahnAnarchy t1_j1ehtw1 wrote

This does not look good on the 40k community, bruh.

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XavierHigdon t1_j1ft8q4 wrote

You some kind of stalker?

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AjahnAnarchy t1_j1fupg1 wrote

You some kind of pervert?

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XavierHigdon t1_j1fvc1g wrote

No. Unlike many of the people here, I don't fetishize age. I don't need weird rules containing algebraic equations to avoid fucking kids. I just don't find kids attractive. Unlike the people downvoting me, apparently.

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AjahnAnarchy t1_j1g0wrw wrote

You made a joke about it. Maybe that’s why?

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XavierHigdon t1_j1g2ujw wrote

So they fuck kids, but think jokes are too far? Their priorities are all fucked up.

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ironcam7 t1_j1ez332 wrote

I thought it was agreed upon that half your age plus 7 was the standard

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Cindexxx t1_j1fcr71 wrote

Just a couple more years and my wife and I are good! Lol

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Rusty1031 t1_j1ei36c wrote

Just…please make good decisions for yourself or you’ll never be happy. You’re worth so much more than you think you are.

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ferndeer t1_j1epent wrote

You didn't fuck up, you were groomed. He's 30 years old and should know better. How is no one else in this sub not seeing that? I'm 21 and would not touch an 18 year old with a 10 foot pole.

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NeedsWit t1_j1hdq85 wrote

Nonsense, OP is 18 and adult.

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ferndeer t1_j1lvaxa wrote

Took a really quick glance at your profile and I'm relieved that you're the kind of person who would disagree with me. Means I have my values in check.

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NeedsWit t1_j1msf42 wrote

That's how you tell me you're a hardcore feminist without telling me you're a hardcore feminist.

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ZergeNN t1_j1fbyxm wrote

stop calling everything grooming

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ferndeer t1_j1feg48 wrote

"Grooming is a process of manipulation and trust-building that a perpetrator will use to create an atmosphere where they can exploit a child. Grooming is about making a child think that abuse and exploitation is normal."

There is no way that a family member almost twice the age of a likely highschooler can have a consensual sexual relationship with them. Also, your attitude towards grooming is complicit in its societal acceptance. Hopefully understanding it better will change your perspective.

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ZergeNN t1_j1fllh8 wrote

she is 18 not a child, there was no abuse

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Conveyys t1_j1gawk8 wrote

she's in highschool still dude and from the sounds of things, this dude knew her since she was a minor

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shadefeuer t1_j1fszqc wrote

If you're calling 18 not a child it's fairly obvious how old you are. As stated above by the other user, 21 myself and wouldn't touch an 18 year old with a 10 foot pole. You're fucked if you think dating a girl still in highschool as a full grown adult damn near double her age isn't a problem.

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ZergeNN t1_j1gj3ja wrote

i doesnt said its not wierd but its definitly not grooming , and nobody gives a fuck if you would or wouldnt touch a 18 years old with a 10 foot pole

0

buwefy t1_j1fo7df wrote

Everyone seems like an idiot in this story, except for your aunt.
You.. I don't know. You're young enough that there's hope, I know people who had similar idiotic moments as teenagers, but managed to sort their life very well as young adults.. best of luck :)

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marior012 t1_j1h894q wrote

How tf do people believe this dumb bs story? Just take a look at the username

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ACPMLG97 t1_j1enbjo wrote

Your aunt is the nicest person on the planet. What you did was awful, you need to make it up to her in any way you can. Her ex is a creep, she deserves better.

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ifuckmoms69 t1_j1f6bnx wrote

i don’t know why people are more mad at you then your “uncle”. he should know better than to sleep with someone who’s 1 barely legal and 2 practically family. i feel like five months of grounding is a bit over the top but i also don’t know your family and how the deal with punishments. from what you’ve told people, your dad is acting very unreasonable. uninviting you to family christmas is very very inappropriate imo. i’m very sorry this happening to you and i’m glad your aunt has your back. happy holidays🫶🫶

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neophanweb t1_j1dvym1 wrote

So you gave up the cookie and got nothing in return. The "cash me outside" girl at least got a bag of chips.

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Highrisegirl4639 t1_j1ezwpg wrote

What is wrong with you OP? You say your aunt pretty much raised you and this is how you repay her? Have you not learned basic manners? Just saying he’s hot so why not? FFS you are so immature. There is no real remorse from you and you are pathetic. Obviously the guy is too but I am in shock you acted like this. No matter that you are only 18 doesn’t excuse basic decency. Gross!

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Aliteracy t1_j1f6110 wrote

Good job not avoiding it and letting her go forward without that info. Hard to do, sorry about your dad hope he cools down. Aunt's a champ, be like her, I sure as heck wouldn't be that adult. Hope it works out

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CoocooSNest666 t1_j1fcdii wrote

Well, now that's the definition of karma

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lightofyourlifehere t1_j1fj6oi wrote

I'm sorry you got kicked out. Honestly, this situation kinda sounds predatory to me, I think your family is being very harsh with you

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Spiritual_Hawk7461 t1_j1fpvgb wrote

You’re in high school and your dad kicked you out for being with a grown man? First of all, why wasnt the police called?!!!

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unabletonot t1_j1gybte wrote

Jesus. I’d be grateful you have an understanding aunt. Happy to hear you got place to stay but yeah you should feel pretty damn embarrassed. She’s right, you’re a fucking moron, OP.

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Dmac09 t1_j1hnwlc wrote

Damn, it’s wrong enough to sleep with a best friend’s ex, let alone a bed friend’s ex fiancé. But sleeping with a family members ex fiancé? That’s pretty wild and I’m at a loss how one even ends up there lol

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NerdyDan t1_j1el5nk wrote

shitty situation all around

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synthjunkie t1_j1f0mao wrote

Just yolo it and have a threesome with your aunt

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nooshdog t1_j1g45q7 wrote

There's a lot of judgmental people in this subreddit. It sucks you are going through this. I hope you get through it and move on with your life. Best of luck.

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condtx t1_j1g4gfc wrote

I'm proud of you for being an adult being mature and bringing this up to your aunt. Having done shameful things myself in the past and bringing it up to my family I have an idea of what you went through so I know it took some strength props. I am not happy without your father reacted and hope that it is only an emotional reaction and in a day or two will calm the fuck down. Give your aunt a big old hug and a kiss on the cheek for us

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Street_Vacation_2730 t1_j1gr6ov wrote

What was the point of telling them in the first place? Honesty isn’t always the best policy. If you weighed the pros and cons of the situation, I can’t imagine anything on the PROS side of the ledger.

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Evening_Wing_998 t1_j1hrfyv wrote

Why did you think that was a good idea in the first place though. You’re stupid ass game when you are stupid ass prize merry fucking Christmas

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LilacFilter t1_j1q9ufw wrote

Naa your aunt's being too nice, you deserve the worst that comes your way. I'm glad the rest of your family doesn't want you around, your aunt is a saint

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Critical-Echo-923 t1_j1d7imo wrote

well if you are in school ur parent may be obligated by law to provide you a monthly alimony depending on ur country laws

talk to a lawer

+ ur things are ur things they have no right to take ur belongings , talk to police

ur nta, neither is he, separated is separated!

only assholes here are ur parents and extended family

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Burgo86 t1_j1dhivg wrote

I mean, I would definitely call a 31 year old man sleeping with an 18 year old still in highschool who was the niece of his ex an asshole.

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iagolavor t1_j1da39u wrote

>ur nta, neither is he, separated is separated!

Imagine fucking the ex-boyfriend of the person that raised you right after they split lol
Yep, definely not an asshole!

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Critical-Echo-923 t1_j1deng9 wrote

split is split

nobody has the right to dictate what other people do after they ended a relationship

it seems like the aunt realizes this

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Burgo86 t1_j1di18i wrote

Generally though, you know that if you fuck someone that was with a friend or family member (Especially if it is very quickly after a breakup) that it is going to involve some drama (likely trying to still seperate feelings), and you generally have considerations for family/friends feelings. Not considering their feelings at all, does make you a little bit of an asshole. In the very least, not a very good friend or trustworthy/caring family member.

It's acceptable in that it's not cheating. But it sure doesn't show much compassion/empathy/care for your family member.....

Furthermore this is a 31 year old man, having sex with a girl still in highschool, that is fucked up in of itself. He then also gets back with this girls aunt never mentioning this tidbit... The guy at the very least is a major asshole scumball.

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Sarcastic-pickle2 OP t1_j1d82vo wrote

I could but I guess if I do that I'll never have a relationship with anyone in my family

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Blackfire01001 t1_j1du2ia wrote

The blood of the Covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Just because they're family doesn't mean they deserve to be in your life. Any parent who would be willing to throw away their child to the world without a second thought just because they decided to do something that was legal and consensual is not a fucking parent. They are an abusive asshole.

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Sarcastic-pickle2 OP t1_j1dvyg2 wrote

Nah my dad knew I'd go to my aunt he would never let me be homeless. Also I know for a fact that he calls my aunt every day and asks her how I'm doing.

−1

Critical-Echo-923 t1_j1de6a8 wrote

no, you have to put them in their place

dont ruin ur life in hoping for something that will never happen, you will never have the same relationships again

and if you do not stand ur ground they will walk allover you for the rest of your life

ur an adult now, act like one if you want respect

−8

Blackfire01001 t1_j1dttpm wrote

Im glad things are working out. Your family is Toxic as fuck. How I see it, is that too consenting adults who are both single at the time decided to enjoy each other's company. And then called it off. It's none of your family's fucking business what you do with your body. I'm glad you're aunt is at least sensible sort of. I understand why she's mad but then if she didn't want him playing with anyone she shouldn't have broke up with him. I'm sorry it turned out like this because you don't deserve it.

0

AjahnAnarchy t1_j1ehmhi wrote

You’re staying with the aunt whose marriage you just helped ruin?

Not smart.

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Sarcastic-pickle2 OP t1_j1eiisc wrote

Why you think she is gonna poison me or something?😂

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AjahnAnarchy t1_j1ekr0f wrote

Probably not. From her perspective probably, you saved her from a sketch dude. Look out for yourself though, selfish people like that guy don’t care what problems they cause you or the people you care about.

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aghufflepuff t1_j1g00pv wrote

Info: is this the aunt who's ex op slept with?

0

djasonpenney t1_j1eoil3 wrote

>since my dad took my tablet away and I have no idea what my password was

You need a password manager!

Consider using Bitwarden.

Pick a strong master password, such as a passphrase with five or more words. Be sure to save your master password somewhere in addition to your memory.

There is a lot of good additional advice in /r/Bitwarden, but this will get you started.

−2

unsung_hero88 t1_j1eibsy wrote

Damn OP you’re a hoe. Jesus Christ!

−4

InfiniteCalendar1 t1_j1fsrzj wrote

Do you have any criticism for the 31 year old man who took advantage of a high schooler?

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unsung_hero88 t1_j1ftg22 wrote

Lol first she’s18, making her a legal adult and she was more than willing to fuck him. I have a feeling that the pursuit was mutual. Whether she was 18, 25, or 31. She still would’ve tried to fuck him. She didn’t stop to consider that this guy is her aunt’s ex and out of all of the guys she could easily fuck he should be be one of them. She wanted dick and went after the dude that just went through a break up. Not saying he’s innocent but he didn’t nothing illegal, she is a consenting adult and that’s all that’s required

0

InfiniteCalendar1 t1_j1ftizs wrote

You clearly don’t understand how power dynamics work.

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unsung_hero88 t1_j1ftqbe wrote

I don’t see anywhere in this post where OP felt pressured. And given that he was no longer dating OP aunt I’m confused about this power dynamic you speak of. The dude was supposedly out of their lives and somehow OP just happened to bang him?

1

super_beats t1_j1ftxhs wrote

It's is so messed up your dad is angry with you its your body not his. I can understand being disappointed. He has no right to be. I cant for the life of me understand how fathers feel like they own there daughter or have any say in their sex life.

−4