I’m sorry that you’ve had such a difficult experience. And Reddit can be a cruddy place with knee-jerk reactions and lack of context. So, let me come at it from a different angle- I get you’re hurting and looking for outlets to escape or cope or deal. It’s really hard. There’s no words or magic that makes it easier. But I wanna encourage you (if you’re not already) to seek treatment. Trauma is an ugly monster that can be a challenge to cope with and there’s a ton of people who have walked that road. Stay safe and be well.