TIFU by sending money to a stranger on a dating app

Submitted by nothing4everx t3_zynb4k in tifu

i met this guy on hinge and we were texting pretty often for about 2 weeks. he asked me out on a date a few days ago and i agreed. he lives about an hour away from me, so last night asked if he could meet me somewhere half way. he agreed but asked if i could send him gas money but he would pay me back when he got paid. i was running late getting ready so i kinda just sent it without thinking too hard. hes texting me that he left and that he was excited to meet me soon and all this bullshit but as soon as i walk over to the spot we agreed to meet he texted me “i’m at home but thanks for the money!” i called venmo and got the charges disputed but i just feel stupid. i know i’m not actually stupid and he took advantage of my kindness/naivety but i don’t wanna tell anyone cause i feel so embarrassed LMAO

tldr: i’ve been talking to this guy who lives an hour away, we agreed to meet halfway but he needed gas money. as soon as i got there he texts me “i’m home but thanks for the $$$!”

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Possible_Tiger_5125 t1_j26skye wrote

This could be me: literally everything you described is what I would do. Omg let's getim

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GrizzlyClairebear86 t1_j26st7b wrote

First off - what a douche - thanks for the money... yeah karma will bite his ass. But secondly and most importantly- there's a difference between stupid and kind hearted. You're a nice person who wanted to help out someone - no one is expecting to be conned for a few bucks on a dating app. Sorry this happened to you, but don't let one bottomfeeding catfish ruin your adventure to find the right fishy!! Good luck!!

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dysphoricllama t1_j26utu1 wrote

Sounds like an epic douche, and you sound like a really trusting person.

Don't feel too bad - I've trusted people with way more than that. Like loaning money to a friend over and over, small amounts and somewhat larger amounts. Truthfully I knew he'd never pay me back even though he said he would each time and asked in manipulative ways. I just felt sorry for him because he is a super dysfunctional human.

My rule is never to lend money I can't afford to lose. That way no major harm done. Sounds like you just lost a bit of gas money - hope it isn't too big of a deal for your bank account.

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special_kitty t1_j26vgsq wrote

That's not so bad. My mom met this scammer on Facebook and fell in love. He's an engineer located in Oslo, Norway yet his selfie was in shorts and a t-shirt. He's Australian but grew up in the US and owns a Lamborghini and a Mercedes. He's flying private to Detroit this weekend where she will pick him up. She went to Detroit last weekend during the snowstorm and got a hotel but his plane got delayed. He wanted 3k for the flight because he doesn't have access to his credit cards. He also wants $2,300 for a laptop and an Apple watch. She knows he's a scammer but, "They worked it out" and "He's going to be a good father to me because I need a father." I'm 37.

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NnyBees t1_j26w2lg wrote

One way to look at it is: I'd gladly pay a gas money amount to weed out a dud like that immediately. He could have showed up, mooched a meal out of you or maybe more before you found out they're not worth a damn.

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Analysis_Vivid t1_j26wn33 wrote

What a loser he is! He could have scammed you for so much more if he’d played the long game.

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smudgetimeusa t1_j270nrq wrote

If someone needs money to get on a date like.. take your L

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kr595 t1_j270s7r wrote

I think this is an L for him and not you tbh, sure times can be tough but imagine how he gets to the point of going on dating apps to get like $20

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AcrobaticSource3 t1_j271pba wrote

He probably doesn’t even really live far from you, he’s just hustlin

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Tanagrabelle t1_j272aub wrote

He might live on the next block. Hugs to you, though. I've been taken advantage of in the past, too.

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mommadotco15 t1_j272pzc wrote

Bro what an asshole. We should talk about it over dinner and a movie some time what do you say? Your treat, I’ll get the next one once I get paid

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Akitten84 t1_j277amz wrote

Replying to special_kitty (#1,166,607)

Whooooo… That’s crazy A few years back my dad was talking to a “woman” online, she was coming to see him but got stuck in Texas, her car and phone broke, but was able to message him on WhatsApp, he added her to his Verizon account so she could buy a new phone, “she” bought $10k in new phones and didn’t quite make it to his place.

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amytaylorla t1_j27g5bu wrote

You’re kidding, right? Never give a man a dime, for any reason, EVER. Men have had 30,000 years of hegemony. Your $ is yours. If he’s broke, in a world built by and for men, he’s ick. Find someone better. Keep your wallet closed, girl. Life is expensive enough for women. Men are not entitled to our $. Ever.

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ErialFae t1_j27gdr7 wrote

Replying to special_kitty (#1,166,607)

Omg that sounds like a story I had seen where a woman was basically going through the same situation. Even when all of the proof was put in front of her that he was a scammer she still wanted to work things out. She thought they could work past it apparently. Your poor mom

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k9moonmoon t1_j27lpz0 wrote

Look into reporting him to the app, they don't want scammers giving them a bad name.

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AdFeisty4049 t1_j27qs21 wrote

My poor sweet baby!

Listen, rule of thumb if he can not financially afford to show up for the date you shouldn’t be dating him.

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LordTonto t1_j27u3hc wrote

Replying to kr595 (#1,167,826)

if I were scamming someone and they expressed a willingness to pay to see me I would transcend the lie and show up because nobody has ever been willing to pay to date me before.

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omegagirl t1_j27uuiz wrote

Why are you dating someone who can’t afford gas to meet you? No judgement, Just wondering.

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JelDeRebel t1_j27vswv wrote

Just...just don't ever send any money to someone stranger you've met online, especially on a dating app. It's always scammers.

Think of it this way as well. if someone doesn't have the money to come see you, it's very likely you're going to financially support that person in a relatuonship.

Heck, my cousin met a foreign guy at a bar. Live together for a while, got a kid. She only kicked him out after a decade because he couldn't hold down a job, and he wouldn't financially support her but would rather put that money in his home back in his home country.

Money isn't everything...still

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ed190 t1_j28fkzl wrote

Tinder swindler ?

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moarbooms t1_j28g3lv wrote

seems like everyone has a scam story around here, I'll share mine I met a girl here on reddit who needed money to fly out and see me while her place was being repaired for some water damage. She got into a "car crash broke her phone" but still magically found a way to ask for cash to get things squared away on her end. I'm still waiting for her visit, you guys think I've waited enough? or should I have more patience? lol

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itport_ro t1_j28jdp5 wrote

I am also a guy, a stranger for you, living, probably, thousands miles away, do I qualify to receive money from you...?

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nothing4everx OP t1_j28pn1o wrote

Replying to omegagirl (#1,173,896)

i mean we had already made plans before he had asked me so i just didn’t think about it. idk i like being generous and helping people out in that regard anyways. plus he said he would pay me back

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TooOldForThis--- t1_j293lns wrote

My father used to say “If you lend someone money and never see them again, it was money well spent.” He is the loser here, not you.

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ricnilotra t1_j2981ts wrote

yeah, ive been on dating apps for a while and nobody asking for gas money is ever gonna show up.

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YamDong t1_j29i09o wrote

One simple rule: never give money online to anyone that you have not met in person. No matter what excuse they give.

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LOUDCO-HD t1_j29nknb wrote

Personally, I would take not having gas money as a pretty clear indicator that this is someone I shouldn’t be dating, if he was real. I wouldn’t even start a conversation with anyone who lives more than 20 minutes away. If he was real and you did hit it off and the relationship went somewhere, it is going to be a repeat of this every time.

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flypinay74 t1_j2aeq79 wrote

Yes you are actually stupid for doing that

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DukeOfDrywall t1_j2besa9 wrote

I’ve been scammed too. It sucks but it’s no biggie

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HarryHacker42 t1_j2bfgnz wrote

Replying to YamDong (#1,186,665)

Especially if they give excuses. Straight up begging, at least you know what they are. When they have an URGENT problem that you need to help with fast, that's the signs you are supposed to run.

And don't get me started on paying the IRS with Apple Gift Cards. That's some major stupidity.

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Xanataa t1_j2ema8i wrote

Honestly that hinge douche ain't got nothing on the tinder swindler, he straight turned that into a lifestyle, millions he swindled. This guy probably took you for Gas money? 50$ maybe? Screenshot his hinge profile and share it EVERYWHERE as a scammer and let the internet do the rest ...

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tarantinofootfetish1 t1_j2f0odz wrote

I've had nearly the same thing happen to me off hinge. Though we were only talking for a few days she hit me up for gas money to get home from work because her mom's new card hadn't come in yet or something like that. It was like 30 minutes after I got up for work, she asked for 20 but it didn't quite feel right so I sent 10 feeling bad for her. She promised she'd take me out to lunch the next day but she ghosted. Shit happens but we live and learn.

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