thisisfakereality t1_j1ddp81 wrote on December 23, 2022 at 1:57 PM

This is what’s wrong with this generation’s fixation on consent. Nothing you did was wrong. It’s not like you assaulted him in any way. My guess is you both kind of like each other and the alcohol took away the inhibition. Nbd

aoechamp t1_j1diqnu wrote on December 23, 2022 at 2:38 PM

This is some highschool level shit. They were both drunk, they both had a good time, they both seem to be into each other. It’s not rocket science

PassengerNumerous607 OP t1_j1dk43j wrote on December 23, 2022 at 2:48 PM

Honestly these replies make me feel like I’m in middle school again lmaoooo. I think it’s because I’m very weird about touch when it’s not in a sexual manner (like i have trouble w hugging friends) and he’s also an awkward dude.

[deleted] t1_j1dl7rm wrote on December 23, 2022 at 2:56 PM

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thisisfakereality t1_j1dnj29 wrote on December 23, 2022 at 3:12 PM

I was trying to be empathetic by telling her what happened was nbd and’s not to beat herself up. 20 years ago, a woman would never have questioned this whole line of behavior. Now, because everyone’s hypersensitive about everything, you’re subject to judgement for being a normal human.

[deleted] t1_j1dz43a wrote on December 23, 2022 at 4:33 PM

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-Chris-V- t1_j1drv4e wrote on December 23, 2022 at 3:43 PM

Her options are essentially to give herself a pass and adhere to 20 years ago standards when it's HER who is making advanced without consent, or hold herself to the same standards she would hold a man to today.

If nothing else, I hope it's an opportunity for her to reflect on the past and current definitions of consent and introspect a bit on how well her actual values and actions align with modern or past values.

thisisfakereality t1_j1e83tc wrote on December 23, 2022 at 5:33 PM

This is exactly what I’m talking about - this complete bs. She did nothing wrong. If she had as much as kissed him, I might tend to agree. “Cuddling,” especially when they’ve done it before, is literally nothing, and doesn’t require reflection.

If anything in this story requires reflection, it’s the amount of alcohol each person induced.

PassengerNumerous607 OP t1_j1dzag1 wrote on December 23, 2022 at 4:34 PM

Hi, yes that’s what I find troubling and question about this situation. Thank you for pointing out what I was trying to gauge with this post, rather than other commenters who are like “just fuck already”