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HotSupermarket3682 t1_j1o4ok9 wrote

I think a misplaced perspective here is also that you cheated on your girlfriend because you were worried about not being good at sex…

Be foolish, win foolish prizes.

That being said I hope HSV2 hasn’t been so bad for you. You are still datable. There are many people with herpes and all people make mistakes.


monorchism t1_j1qeb8h wrote

He got the prize that keeps on giving


HotSupermarket3682 t1_j1qkk1e wrote

What strikes me is the sad viewpoint that the sexual innocence of your body is viewed negatively … to give your virginity to someone you love really should, in my traditional viewpoint, be treasured.

How much less messy would all of our lives be if we didn’t come with the emotional baggage of sexual intimacy with others before our longterm (hopefully life long) partner.


Ok-Permission-2687 t1_j1r35cm wrote

HSV-2 is apparently pretty common. I think 1/4 chances?

To OP: I dated a woman who had it. We had been on 3-4 dates and I could tell she was hiding something. So she finally told me she had the virus, this was before having sex, and I thanked her for being honest.

If this story is true, it will take a lot of courage to tell people, but that is your burden to bear. You will definitely come across people who don’t want to continue dating you, but you will also find some that will.

That woman I met is now married and seems as happy as I can assume over social media.

Good luck. Have courage. Keep looking.


MizElaneous t1_j1rw6vt wrote

One of my best friends got it from a boyfriend who suspected he had it (other former partners told him), but since he didn't have symptoms, he didn't get tested so he had plausible deniability. She is happily married now, and has a 7 year old daughter with her husband. She still gets outbreaks but her husband has never contracted it.


reevelainen t1_j1okh3c wrote

Tells a lot about expectations we have of men these days.

Edit: Due to downvotes, I'd say this subject is too sensitive for further discussions.


maohvixen t1_j1pmvh7 wrote

Dude I don't mind whether my partner is a virgin or not (some women might care, but that seems to be a very small percentage, and those women are further split among specifically wanting virgins or experienced men), but, and most women seem to agree with me on this, I would be upset if my bf cheated on me.

Hardly seems like all that much to expect someone to not cheat.


reevelainen t1_j1po3q7 wrote

There isn't excuse for cheating, you're absolutely right and my comment surely didn't mean to defend his actions or justify them. Still seems to me that a lot of men are more shamed about their virginity the older they get. Being self-confident on that area too helps finding a companion too so eventhough someone finding a love 'dont mind the virginity', it's somewhat plausible that the experience in sex increases self-confidency, and that often the key to find someone to love. It's not anyone's fault.


BewBewsBoutique t1_j1qhhmh wrote

The issue people have with dating virgins isn’t the lack of sexual experience, it’s the general lack of dating experience. Men without dating experience basing their idea of dating on porn and online forums with other dateless men. Then they end up doing things like cheating on their girlfriends with hookers because they’ve idealized sex. What woman wants to be treated like that? That’s not a virgin issue, that’s a mentality issue.


reevelainen t1_j1qirjt wrote

You're absolutely right. Being a virgin doesn't usually rise the self-confidence which is highly appreciated in dating, it's not the... being a non-virgin. Obviously people who fall in love doesn't care whether the opposite is virgin or not, but I'd say many men carry it like burden after certain age and that doesn't increase self-confidence which is, again, essential and is seen very attractive. A virgin can be a very self-confident too, obviously but isn't that easy I would imagine.


Thrww27 t1_j1p9gmm wrote

Quick glance to your comment history indicates that most of them are downvoted to oblivion. Maybe it's time to reflect a bit, the problem here isn't the subject.


reevelainen t1_j1pb3i5 wrote

Quick glance? A very picky one too.

Edit: I ser your karma isn't through the roof either lmao.


[deleted] OP t1_j1pdxf7 wrote



Plokmijn27 t1_j1qesa6 wrote

no at this point he is definitely getting downvotes for no reason

even when he says something pretty reasonable, normal and sociable, like several times in this very thread, he still gets targeted with downvotes.

i didnt stalk his profile like you so I cant say about his other posts, but in this thread, there is definitely some downvote bullying happening


reevelainen t1_j1pemhk wrote

Don't reflect your own insecurities at me. I'm not the person for you to try your kitchen-psychology diagnostics. You don't know anything about me, and if that's your argument, there's some seriously sick twist in your style of dialogue. You can't just assume people are this and that, represent a group you don't know they do, aren't what you think they are. If we're going that route, I might aswell make the a conclusion that you are even worse, maybe the rapist?


Thrww27 t1_j1pgtr2 wrote

Out of arguments so throwing strawmen it is? Figures. I'm not assuming anything, you yourself have said being DUI and that's a telltale sign of low intellect or very bad addiction. Drunk drivers are scum of society.


reevelainen t1_j1pjvpi wrote

Hahahah, keep reflecting buddy. That doesn't determine me as a person as much at it does to you and I got nothing to prove to you.

My boss gave me a second chance. My society gave me a second chance. To be honest, they're lucky to have me, as I am a part of the garbage recycling system here. Atleast this scum of society does something for it. There really aren't that many doing this job, and they truly struggled to find someone to substitute while I had my licence off (3months). I trained the substitute.

I made a 2km max of drive on an empty road, realized what I was doing and tried to turn back. My personal car got jammed, so I walked back. Police called me, and I told everything. Got minimum because the fragility of my job (hard to find a substitute)

I already live with the fact that I betrayed the trust my company and the society had given me. Now I'm even better servant as the experience made me truly value what I had earned and what position I maintain.

One of the bosses told that because I'm calling with the garbage recycling company, and setting things with them straight-up, they don't have to do it and saves them a ton of work. He said it's rather unique in our company and this is second biggest in the country. Therefore I'm not only emptying these people's garbage containers and area collecting posts, I negotiate so that we have to drive them all. But even professionals are humans. I didn't cause a dangerous scene eventhough nothing defences drunk driving. It was a risk, and I of all people know that, because I see people taking lethal risks almost every day in the traffic, and I'm trying to work among there. We all make mistakes, and luckily my last one wasn't straight up dangerous to anyone but myself.


Thrww27 t1_j1pke7p wrote

Did you learn the word "reflect" from my past post or why are you repeating it. And whoa, what an essay, it must be a sore spot to you but I'm not that interested. Explanations are like assholes, everyone has one.


reevelainen t1_j1pktce wrote

Yeah, well not everyone attacks me with full force even in Reddit over one mistake like you did. Most are polite people that are capable of having reasonable conversations like adults. I don't think I ever had to write such to anyone. But that tells a lot about you.

Edit: A bit ironic to question my intelligence when you're surprised me defending myself while you're comparing me into a rapist. Like what did you expect, to agree with you? I might not be a highly educated intellectual but you really aren't that good in having a dialogue with even some sort of manners.


Thrww27 t1_j1pn231 wrote

>A bit ironic to question my intelligence when you're surprised me defending myself while you're comparing me into a rapist. Like what did you expect, to agree with you? I might not be a highly educated intellectual but you really aren't that good in having a dialogue with even some sort of manners.

If you knew how to read you'd know that I didn't compare you to rapist, I said you are still one notch above them.


reevelainen t1_j1po6zw wrote

Are you out of arguments because you're attached in the details rather than answering with something reasonable?


Thrww27 t1_j1pq58w wrote

Copying me again, lmao. And no, I'm just correcting you since you can't read.


reevelainen t1_j1ps3t2 wrote

Yup, not a perfect reader. English isn't my first language though, but it doesn't seem it matters that much. But you can't have a conversation. Did the Grinch actually visit you this christmas?


Thrww27 t1_j1ptbgy wrote

I've not tried to hold up a conversation, you have just deliberately tried to defend your actions.


Thrww27 t1_j1pmrsb wrote



reevelainen t1_j1po9k8 wrote

Save your tears, it's not that serious buddy. But I won't judge your cry, it gives a relief sometimes.


gaellamaas t1_j1p1lb9 wrote

what the hell are you talking about? The guy was putting pressure on himself because he was insecure, not his girlfriend, not any of his friends, himself. Tells us absolutely nothing about societal expectations of men because as far as I know nobody is expecting a virgin to pull out expert pornstar moves.


reevelainen t1_j1pbt22 wrote

No point of answering thoroughly since you had to went emotional with it. We're not getting anywhere with such tense athmosphere. The subject rousing so much anger tells a lot.


I_Thot_So t1_j1px15h wrote

How was their response emotional?


reevelainen t1_j1pyaj5 wrote

It means that since I've managed to say a triggering thing, my points wouldn't make any difference to the conversation anymore. It started with the wrong foot. I would sound like an asshole even more. Replies would be intentionally personal and mocking. I've already had a miserable dialogue with some pissed individual and it's exhausting.

To answer your question, they're mostly filled with hate in these kind of occasions.


ErdtreeSimp t1_j1pyhsr wrote

Stop being emotional lmao it was a normal reply


reevelainen t1_j1pzflc wrote

Don't know what 'it' you're talking about. But yeah, I don't have my own emotions involved.


I_Thot_So t1_j1q7yjc wrote

No one is triggered. Triggered is a psychological response to trauma. Not thinking someone is wrong.

People thinking you’re an idiot is not them being emotional.


reevelainen t1_j1qe26q wrote

Take a look at another dialogue I had with this individual. One was so filled with hate because something about my poorly phrased comments just made one go nuts. He went through my history like a stalker and would find a detail to paint me as dark as people can with the most personal weapon one can find. If that's not an action of hate, I don't know what is. As if I wasn't even human anymore, lmao.

Having such determinism to cancel me is indeed a sign of triggering something sore.


Gelly13r t1_j1qobte wrote

Going through a public profile isn't stalking. Its literally public. I don't know what commenter did that to you, but it's literally public and a good indicator of a posters views and/or bs.


reevelainen t1_j1qpn9a wrote

Don't know what one did but decided to comment anyway. Yes, my profile is public and I stand behind everything there is. This is the only account I have and the one doing the digging had like 4 comments in total which implies one's doing a new one everytime. One weaponized the detail in my profile and prevents anyone doing the same to one because one makes a new one everytime. That's why it was ridiculous. The details are there, everyone can see they've got nothing to do with these dialogues. One chose a bad indicator.


gaellamaas t1_j1xzn41 wrote

Buddy, you didn’t say a triggering thing that caused me to be emotional, I’m not even sure how you think my reply was emotional. I’m just confused as to how your take from this post was people have too high expectations of men. Please do explain, I’d genuinely love to hear it.


reevelainen t1_j1y5frg wrote

People? He seemed to think so, because he ended up getting rid of his virginity with professional help. I've learned due to comments under my comment that those expectations are just imagination of men like op, and there simply aren't any expectations towards men.


gaellamaas t1_j22x7ml wrote

Obviously there are unrealistic expectations of men, just as there are unrealistic expectations of women. However my issue is you seemed to bring up this issue out of nowhere, this post doesn’t highlight the hardships men face from unrealistic expectations. If you want to go sob about men not being treated fair, this isn’t the place for that.


reevelainen t1_j2303h3 wrote

Isn't op a man? And he thought there are expectations towards his performance? What IS more relevant place to talk about men's issues? Why it's so important to you that men's issues are NOT brought up in front of your eyes?

Sobbing reference is tasteless.. It's like screaming your misandry. Let me guess, it's a metaphora of fragile masculinity?

"Go sob about men somewhere else" is exactly the emotional side I've been talking about. You just had to choose the insulting, toxic route. Sensitive topic I'd say.


gaellamaas t1_j2323zs wrote

OP putting expectation upon himself on his own accord as a result of his own insecurity is simply not at all in line with what I’d consider an example of “unrealistic societal expectations of men”. I think it’s very important that men’s issue and mental health are spoken about, though often it is brought up in inappropriate places in order to distract from the actual issue and I felt that this was one of those circumstances.

Also I’m not sure how from this brief interaction you’ve gathered that I’m a misandrist, I am a feminist and I believe in equal rights for men and woman and when people like yourself jump into conversations that feel irrelevant to that topic, I perceive it as you trying to push some “men are oppressed” agenda. As for the sobbing comment, I just think it’d be more appropriate discussing topics like somewhere other than in the comments of a post where OP literally admits that his actions were a result of his own stupidity. It’d be best we end this discussion here as it seems my sobbing comment got you quite emotional there.


reevelainen t1_j2347ws wrote

So, as a feminist, it's your right and duty to supervise in which conversations men's issues are brought up and police that? Eventhough it's a man talking about them, relating them and therefore maybe understanding them?

Because you're a feminist and not an eqalitarian, I find it easy to understand that you fail to see the bigger picture. Because this is about a man, you'd only see the action he did, and refuse to see what made him do it. Why this individual have insecurities men can relate into?

I didn't push any agenda, people just got triggered from it, which isn't entirely wrong because we've had some rational dialogues too, but hatred is always too much and that's my failure since the original comment was too provocative. That's not pushing men are oppressed agenda that's simply trying to understand the situation from man's point of view.

I have no emotions involved in this conversation.


reevelainen t1_j2357a5 wrote

If a woman would open herself here and told she felt the pressure of being inexperienced and would be worried her boyfriend to find out she IS experienced, would you be equally mad at someone pointing out expectations towards women and tell one that this isn't the place to talk about women's issues?


reevelainen t1_j2303r4 wrote

Isn't op a man? And he thought there are expectations towards his performance? What IS more relevant place to talk about men's issues? Why it's so important to you that men's issues are NOT brought up in front of your eyes?

Sobbing reference is tasteless.. It's like screaming your misandry. Let me guess, it's a metaphora of fragile masculinity?

"Go sob about men somewhere else" is exactly the emotional side I've been talking about. You just had to choose the insulting, toxic route. Sensitive topic I'd say.


DSoopy t1_j1pdiwv wrote

Or maybe you are just wrong? You will never grow as a person if the moment you get criticized all you can think is they are too sensitive for the topic


Plokmijn27 t1_j1qeds7 wrote

no this is reddit

it doesnt matter if you are right or wrong, its a hive mind


reevelainen t1_j1pe7kx wrote

The claim isn't a fact as it is. OP, however also thought experience is expected and is a male. I can't really relate into that anymore because it's been twenty years when I was a virgin, and haven't exactly been unexperienced for a while now. I got rid of my virginity quite early so I didn't feel the pressure that much, but I would think it'll go up as years go by. To my knowledge, unexperienced companions aren't exactly preferred among more adult people, so I would imagine the pressure must have been hard.


reevelainen t1_j1pesid wrote

It's much more reasonable to go on these conversations when there's no trigger like my comment there. The same conversations goes on elsewhere, where the attitude isn't so full of hate. No point of continueing in here.


Thrww27 t1_j1oyad9 wrote

Go play your victim card somewhere else, that was embarrassing to read.


reevelainen t1_j1pbfjo wrote

What's with all that hatred? I see this is a sensitive subject to you.


vconcernedacademic t1_j1pp663 wrote

The ridiculous, incredulous, impossible to reach expectations in question: not have stds to be date-able! Wow such difficult high expectations we have of men


Lofter1 t1_j1q124h wrote

yeah, I don't know wtf this guy is on about. probably a virgin himself, cause everyone I had sex with was very comforting whenever I underperformed, convincing me it's okay, it happens, that they still had fun, etc. Only expectation was that I'm not selfish and finish what I started in some way, shape or form.


GsTSaien t1_j1qavpw wrote

Nah it isn't a sensitive topic, your take is just bad.

There are fuck all expectations on men, just respecting consent and washing your body puts you above a large part of men looking to date. This guy cheated and tries to convince others it was for a selfless reason, this is not an issue of expectations.


reevelainen t1_j1qdvon wrote

I'm not saying it's an issue of expectations. He is. He tries to justify those actions with expectations he thinks she has about men.


GsTSaien t1_j1qeg0m wrote

You said this says a lot about the expectations we have on men.

It does not, expectations on men are pretty damn low and OP is a douche for even trying to justify cheating.


reevelainen t1_j1qeqak wrote

Yup. Had totally made the expectations up from his head. A non-existing thing.


GsTSaien t1_j1qfghu wrote

You are using sarcasm, but the words are true. That is some hentai plot level trash logic. You need to be a douche to think cheating on your partner is somehow for their own well-being.

There is a bit of embarrassment that you can feel if you are unexperienced, yeah, but there are no expectations. Even then, if you were worried about some type of ed you would buy a blue pill not cheat on your partner. I am sorry but there is no excusing anything op said, and him not getting away with it is no reason to justify his selfish and moronic logic.

Definitely awful that he has an illness from it, no one deserves life long punishment for being a douche while young and stupid, but there is no defending his behavior. It was not anyone's expectations that pushed him this way, only himself.


reevelainen t1_j1qg5bc wrote

Who said there's defending in his actions? Hell no. Communicating is a thing and there's tons of other solutions they could have solved this. Ending up cheating is delusional and we should be worried from where these men are finding these expectations that doesn't exist.

I'm not familiar with that umm...hentai plot level trash logic and I don't want to, thank you. I quess it makes more sense to consume cartooned porn rather than real porn made in oppressive misogynistic environment but I don't have enough experience to truly say anything.


GsTSaien t1_j1qhepg wrote

Men find these made up expectations from other men who don't know what they are talking about. Being self concious about your sexual performance is natural and ok, but those expectations aren't coming from us, and that line of thought from op is nothing but coping for selfish behavior.

If I had an inexperienced guy, as long as he was around my age and not too young or much older, it would be unlikely to bother me unless he made it an issue by drawing attention to it. From my perspective that is not a problem, if anything it is exciting to get a chance to blow someone's mind. I don't expect to get off the first time I am with a new partner anyway, that takes patience and being a lot more comfortable.


reevelainen t1_j1r30q5 wrote

So instead if comparing each other's experience of dating women, they have made a conclusion completely out of the blue that women have some sort of glass roof of requirements towards men eventhough any non-violent hygienic unemployed would do? I would love to dig in the root reason why that had happened. It sounds rather dangerous tbh.

I don't think it's about expecting the other to be experienced or even a non-virgin but these experiences are a big part of masculinity most of the times. Mostly everyone wants to feel desired, and if that just never happens, I'd imagine it's hard to break the loop and suddenly turn into attractive dude in the eyes of the other. The feel of being desired often helps the self-confidence which is attractive feature. But again, this is just my experience as a man so it's not your widely researched knowledge about manhood and such.


GsTSaien t1_j1r5g9t wrote

Stop it with that sarcastic tone. Your mockery is counter productive to intellectual honesty.


reevelainen t1_j1ram94 wrote

Oh, I'm sorry. My academic background is super thin and most of my english might seem a bit rude as we Finnish people are famous of being bad at small talk. I'm driving a garbage collector truck so I bsrely have even any privileges expect being harassed way less and not having to be afraid of getting raped. While I try to execute feministic thinking and dialogues, I must often time sound like a complete moran, I'm sorry.


GsTSaien t1_j1rbbvs wrote

Your english is fine, don't play dumb please. I do not fundamentally disagree with your point of view, I am only highlighting the nuance and why your first comment was not well received. And although a bit rude you did not say anything specifically sexist when you point out how masculinity feels and the pressure men feel to be good partners. You did, however, intentionally mischaracterize my talking points, and then attempt to invalidate my perspective.


reevelainen t1_j1rd6yy wrote

I get your points and not going to lie, I'm not a bot. My views are subjective as I'm already in the pit by trying to participate this after getting downvoted this much. I can't just exclude my annoyance causing some intentionally toxicity to appear in my speeches under this comment, same way there's annoyance in comments towards me.

I'm trying to find the dark spots in masculinity to develop it, not to defends it's last dark castles.


GsTSaien t1_j1reamf wrote

That is alright, I appreciate the honesty! If it helps in any way, the main issue people are taking with you is that you are implying that op's behavior is a result of the victimization of men from society. I know you aren't defending his actions, but you are eating up his excuse nonetheless.

Obviously there is pressure on men to be good lovers, everyone feels that, and feeling desirable is a huge part of sexuality, and it being expressed within part of masculinity is not a bad thing. Not feeling desired is a huge blow to confidence and self perception, that much is true. However, that is internal and related to insecurities, not pressure from society; thus, portraying op as a victim of society's expectations of men felt frustrating to others.


reevelainen t1_j1s9g75 wrote

I have no idea from where he'd get his ideas. Nothing to do with masculinity, healthy one atleast.

Umm... Correct me if I'm right but are you truly saying that men that would get bullied about their appearance, you're saying it's internal and because of their own insecurities? It's like it's justified to mock one if he's feeling insecure? Please, help me out here. I don't know what you mean. How are the ones coming from society different?


GsTSaien t1_j1s9nvd wrote

Who said anything about bullying? Or appearance?


reevelainen t1_j1sbrl1 wrote

They're all linked together, there literally isn't one without the other. But yeah, it literally is a long conversation.


GsTSaien t1_j1sd4x0 wrote

They are unrelated to this discussion.


reevelainen t1_j1sf7tx wrote

Then you must've experienced different masculinity than I had, because I'm having hard time understanding what you mean. How aren't self-confidence, appearance, they way men are expected to represent themselves, what to wear, how to adjust their appearance, basically two sides of the same coin?


GsTSaien t1_j1sggch wrote

We were discussing factors related to societal pressure not everything related to confidence


Malevolent_Mangoes t1_j1of3fw wrote

If anything you cheating on your gf in the first place was the real fuck up that led to all the other fuck ups.


TheRoscoeDash t1_j1pg1wv wrote

400/hr is not cheap. You’d also have to be pretty unlucky to contract 4 stds from a brief moment of exposure.

Also, how do you know you have HPV?


anirban_dev t1_j1pkzwx wrote

Yeah same doubts and questions. An obvious answer as well but I'm gonna give OP the benefit of the doubt.


pufferfeesh t1_j1q1gpo wrote

The cost of the escort, them being 'uglier' than their pictures, and the stds almost makes me think this is an anti sex work fiction


BobknobSA t1_j1r1x9k wrote

He should sell his story to an abstinence only sex education textbook manufacturer.

Surprised she also didn't get pregnant.


TheRoscoeDash t1_j1sfa1h wrote

Lol yes! I now know why this rubs me the wrong way. Reminds me of my TX public school sex education.

Remember y’all, it’s Worth The Wait! DARE you not to do drugs.


wildfire98 t1_j1o7c6p wrote

Just a thought...

You might want to consider getting professional help (therapist, psych). There seems to be a reoccurring theme that might have deeper roots.


SalmonNgiri t1_j1o9xwd wrote

That seems extortionately expensive for a bottom of the barrel hooker. Is this in USD?


Devi1_May_Cry t1_j1ow5zw wrote

I'm in the US. A few years ago, during my single days, I chatted on another message board frequently. Two women stand out to me. Both college aged, both very attractive. One was a hostess at a high-end restaurant, the other modeled clothes and shoes for a local skateboard company.

Here's where things got interesting. Both eventually admitted to me that they had accepted "gifts" for their company. When I asked "How much?" they both refused to say and asked how much I would gift them for their time. I told both "$300," and they both seemed happy with the amount and invited me to visit them. No, I never went through with it.

(Edited to clarify: I don't think they knew each other, and these conversations were one-on-one.)


suchrichtown t1_j1ppsbu wrote

A bottom of the barrel hooker is a streetwalker and in the US is anywhere from $100-$150 depending on the girl, OP and these other guys are talking about escorts which are much more expensive


MotoHULK t1_j1pynej wrote

No, bottom.of the barrel are $20 lot lizards and $10 crack fiend BJs.


Gelly13r t1_j1qp53k wrote

🤣 lot lizards. Been awhile since I heard that term... But man... They are as real as it gets and can sometimes trade sex just to hang out in the truck and hitch a ride. I worked in trucking (not as a trucker, but in the office) and met my fair share.


MotoHULK t1_j1qpqfy wrote

A trucker bud met some midget lot lizards with no teeth..


MotoHULK t1_j1qk9h3 wrote

Here in Houston you can get a solid GFE for $200.

I will neither confirm nor deny whether I know personally.


pogiguy2020 t1_j1o194v wrote

This hurts my eyes bro. I read the TLDR and damn man. It would have been better to have waited to be with your GF. Now you dont have one and you have other things you dont want.


AcrobaticSource3 t1_j1ovh1z wrote

> She had at least 700 past clients

How do you know? Did they leave reviews? Is there a prostitution Yelp that I don’t know about?

> Judging from my outward appearance, you’d never expect me to have engaged in this type of activity, or to have a chronic infection

Oh so only ugly gross dudes are diseased with STI from prostitutes? Got it


bicycle_dreams t1_j1ox0km wrote

Yes, there actually is a "prostitution Yelp". No, I'm not telling you the name(s) of them


krissab23 t1_j1pw0vt wrote

That’s what you get for cheating. Doesn’t even really seem like you’re that sorry about it, but more sorry about contracting a bunch of shit. You broke up with her, cause you couldn’t tell her why you got genital warts, not because you actually felt bad. I can’t really feel sorry for you, the whole post reads as woe is me for being a fucking cheater.


xpoohx_ t1_j1opba3 wrote

Without malice or ill intent, you need to speak with someone.

This decision making process is not something a healthy brain does. These are not the choices of a health mind. I know it might not be acceptable to some cultures, but you are suffering from at least one mental health issue. I promise you talking to a licensed therapist will cost you less than $400usd and will provide you with more perspective and self confidance than a sex worker.

It is no different to having a broken arm or sore back, you mind needs some help to get healthy. A metaphorical brain cast to help heal some wounds. You cam even ask your GP for recomendations if you have a doctor. Trust me it is worth it.


Timullin t1_j1odo6b wrote

Jesus, i think you won STD bingo


SuperToxin t1_j1octsq wrote

Just gonna say you can’t call them a “pro” if they gave you a STI.


SlenderLlama t1_j1s3acu wrote

They’re professional because it’s their profession. Unless they’re amateur, French for the love of. They could be both tho lmao


Londonforce t1_j1q2aep wrote

Based on the prices you quoted, this is a made up story.

A little more research next time and you might pull off a convincing story.


scottyrotten88 t1_j1qab2v wrote

The 4 STDs was it for me. I think this really happened, but OP is in a dark spot due to overwhelming shame and is adjusting his story a bit. Happens a lot with this stuff. Shame is a very ugly emotion.


BewBewsBoutique t1_j1qihix wrote

It was the “I was able to find out the exact number of former clients of this prostitute” for me.


Londonforce t1_j1qhn3r wrote

He added a zero to the price, and dropped one off the incubation period.


Etianen7 t1_j1r23zz wrote

Besides I thought there was no reliable way to test men for HPV, so how would he know he has it.


throwaway19_18_17 t1_j1rsytk wrote

There’s not, however with hpv and low risk(that cause genital warts) once they pop up you can definitely say you have some type.But before symptoms there is no test for men/women with low risk.


Etianen7 t1_j1rtj13 wrote

Yeah, I just googled and the incubation period for HPV warts is at least a month, usually several months. No way OP saw them on the 4th day.


throwaway19_18_17 t1_j1sec9j wrote

Oh no, I agree. Especially with him never having sex before. Good story though.


bybeardandthrone t1_j1qgl64 wrote

4 days later. Considering herpes takes a lot longer than that to show up that's what did it for me


anarion125 t1_j1o0i38 wrote

Woah man... they don't teach you about paragraphs in college anymore?


indianhillbilly1 t1_j1pmyxp wrote

Huh guess you only don’t like it when other people mess up their typing


SciPhiPlants t1_j1os7w7 wrote

What's wrong with the setup? It's far better than most longer write ups, and it's sectioned appropriately I would say.


shizzboogie22 t1_j1o5hoi wrote

Wow. This should be titled "How to make the most of your fuckup in a few easy steps. "


ulykke t1_j1pks98 wrote

I promise you that if she would judge you for your first-time moves in bed, she would not be worth a relationship anyway. Milk is spilled now though. You should look into some sort of therapy, I think your addiction clouded your thought process in this whole deal. That is not to say you are without guilt, as the most problematic thing is that you decided to CHEAT to practice the moves. Wtf. In any case, hope you look for help.


EnjoyableTrash t1_j1qau4e wrote

In todays stories that didn’t happen.


KatKaneki t1_j1pcgml wrote

You deserve it for 1. Cheating, and 2. Choosing to fuck a prostitute


alima_2007 t1_j1pwvho wrote

u cheated on ur gf. u deserve it.


Dcarf t1_j1r92sh wrote

This can’t be real


Topinambourg t1_j1qd9y6 wrote

10% of the world sexually active population has HSV2. I can imagine it's not pleasant, but it's nothing really serious.

How do you know you have HPV? It's believed that over 90% of sexually active males have it, so once again not that big of a deal.

I think the main issues you have is the shame of what you did l, as well as the guilt of it. Cheating that is.

The real fuckup was cheating, not getting those STDs.

(Also 400USD/h is not at all cheap, and it sounds very suspicious that you contracted all that within few seconds of unprotected sex. There might be more to the story)


ThisSorrowfulLife t1_j1qeci7 wrote

Yikes. You are all kinds of fucked up. You need intense therapy. I really hope you stay away from other women for a while.


likethemustard t1_j1rfqp3 wrote

lol even a sex worker isn’t this dirty


GabeItch9000 t1_j1px61k wrote

This reads like it was written by a woman


spenser1973 t1_j1qylp5 wrote

This is statistically unlikely. But sure man


DarthLift t1_j1qgazv wrote

Can't feel bad for the dude who cheated on his SO. Karma is a bitch lol


Gelly13r t1_j1qpu4l wrote

So many comments just glossed over that this dude felt it completely acceptable and actually heroic to cheat on his SO. Dude, even if you lost your virginity, your sexual experience won't change THAT much with one time. So you cheated and we're an untrustworthy pos for nothing. Also, women generally don't care. In fact, it's preferable to alot of women because we can set the expectation for a man not to use as a bang machine and maybe care about our experience too. So many younger guys who have lots of experience just use it for self gratification and the girls never even get to experience climaxing. Experience literally means nothing. You are just a crap person.


sisterjude_ t1_j1qyd2b wrote

You literally fucked around and found out


Supahot28 t1_j1r5px7 wrote

I’ll take “things that didn’t happen” for 500 Alex


outersenshi t1_j1ri0lv wrote

Damn. So many things wrong with this post Cheap $400??? You were either ripped off or paid for a weekend gf experience through some sleezy site. Addicted to porn but don’t look the part?? How do porn addicts look? O.o Cheating to “become better” at sex. Maybe try some therapy. Seems like you have a lot to work through and could use the help


jemmi27 t1_j1q12hp wrote

You contacted 4 STDs on your first sexual encounter, after paying 400/hr, That must have been traumatizing... So sorry


nav0n0d t1_j1qdvs9 wrote

This is like a fuck up lasagna. Have fun trying to find someone with the same STD as you.


SkyrimIsForTheNerds t1_j1qfht6 wrote

There are a couple of ways you can move forward from this. One is to be taking medications to reduce the likelihood that you could spread it to a partner, be honest and upfront about your status, and let them make the decision of whether the risk is worth it to them. You also could look into dating other people who already have HPV and HSV (I hope you had the others treated).

Both of those viruses are far more common than people think, as many people either never have any symptoms or eventually expel it from their system.

Be honest about your sexual inexperience with a potential partner too. The right person will be patient and willing to teach or learn with you.

There are a lot of people who are in your shoes, whether their first time was consensual or not. It is not a death sentence for your romantic prospects unless you make it so.


harvard_haverford t1_j2awpz4 wrote

Actually, yeah, I was lying about the diagnosis part. I have tested negative for every STD, 3 months out. That being said, I haven't had the courage to ask for a herpes test. I've never gotten herpes symptoms, but I'm afraid I might be an asymptomatic carrier. Had to break up with my gf bc of the slight chance I actually am. Before the condom breaking, it didn't even cross my mind that I might get an STD.


MRToddMartin t1_j1qgadb wrote

The best are the ones who are trainable. That way you can learn together. You have to break the wild horse before you put a saddle on it.


clampie t1_j1r25mg wrote

You just wanted to have sex. That's normal.


harvard_haverford t1_j2aw476 wrote

I could have gotten sex sooner if I had gone to my gf. I wanted to know if I was gonna embarrass myself in front of her.


Panda530 t1_j1rw1d4 wrote

Wow, what a load of shit. Not even remotely believable.


Sippiku t1_j1rw3o4 wrote

Lying ass mofo right here


Wheelaffect t1_j1s0e88 wrote

Is this sone made up cautionary tale?


Wheelaffect t1_j1s26aq wrote

Problems with the story that make it seem made-up:

  1. As many have said, $400/hr is REALLY high. The fact you repeatedly made a point of how cheap the sex worker was (assuming you did so to reinforce this idea that they have more STD’s the cheaper they are), yet the sex worker wasn’t cheap at ALL, means it’s likely you were just guessing and couldn’t google a definitive price range

  2. What you COULD google us onset of herpes symptoms after first exposure and whaddya know…it’s FOUR DAYS! How perfect. 🤣

  3. You “searched up this girls profile”? What does that even mean? Did you not already see this supposed profile when you originally found her? And then you find she “had at least 700 past clients”.

This, for me, was the clincher. Do you honestly think sex workers have a CLIENT COUNTER, on their profile? 🤣🤣🤣

Why the hell would any sex worker keep that tally and make it available to potential clients? That simply didn’t happen.

  1. And what’s up with this pathological approach to dating. You decided to date someone like it was a college coarse, or like you are an alien but heard that’s a thing humans do so you added it to your schedule?

The whole thing reads like an 👽 who was tasked to go undercover and investigate the behavior of humans during their college years, ended up meeting a sex worker who swindled you out of human money and when your overlords on the mothership asked for your paperwork you had to make up a story to explain the missing money.

That, and you’ve probably given humans space AIDS.


Maengdaddyy t1_j1s3eto wrote

There’s no way this is real. And if it is real…. You’re an idiot. Lol


Maengdaddyy t1_j1s3k4t wrote

Also, hpv is nearly impossible to tell if a male has it. You might have it for a decade and not know. There is no way you went to the dr 4 days after and they were like “yeah it’s hpv” nope.


ttopsrock t1_j1qf3km wrote

Ah bro I'm so sorry