Thank you for reading and your kind words. No she is a different woman from my post history that one is long gone thankfully 😅.

You're correct a true platonic friend wouldn't consider her a potential partner that is something I am trying to work on because it is nice having a friend of the opposite sex to just hangout with, but admittedly it's difficult to not see her qualities and values in such a light because we've both admitted that our qualities and values is what we're both looking for in a partner. She just wants someone to stick around for more than just her body friendship wise if that makes sense.

As for trying to keep boundaries with splitting bills or paying for things she offers every single time without fail to either split or pay and every single time without fail I say "no I got the bill" part of it I think is me being stubborn another part is my upbringing, my parents are really conservative "the man gets the check, opens the door, does all the driving" that sort of thing. I've been brought up being told "the man works a 16 hour shift, but his wife even if she's been home all day watching TV gets a foot rub at the end of the day"

As for why I invested so much in her, tbh she's one of the best people I've ever met. True we met through my ex wife but they are polar opposites, and when things ended with my ex and she found out what my ex did she was the one of the first to say "wow that's fucked up, I'm happy you got out of that relationship" and proceeded to never speak to her again. She's been a great emotional support on challenging days and in a way I think I'm just trying to repay that as best I can.

I will definitely be taking a step back and reflecting on your words and having a conversation with her. I think from now on to preserve the friendship, I think we have to take a step back from supporting each other as much as we do emotionally. And I will do my best to not pay for everything 😅