TIFU by trying to encourage my wife

Submitted by shrike2214 t3_10lrx8w in tifu

[Obligatory this was 2020 but still haunts me]

During the entire COVID crisis me and my wife decided to do something about our weight, found a plan that'd work for us, we were both working from home, cake shops and restaurants were all closed so we decided it was now or never. Now if anyone has tried to lose weight alongside their partner they might find that people who are following the same plan and same diet will lose weight in different ways and at a different pace. Even worse when your partner has some body image issues too.

My wife began to struggle part way through because she wasn't seeing any movement on the scales, I suggested she take some progress pictures because scales can stick while your body still changes, couple of days later shes looking at old pictures, looking at a new picture and flicking back and forth before announcing "Nope, can't see any difference, this is pointless" so I say send me the pictures you're using and I'll see if I can pinpoint where you've changed (because often she can't see the changes until its pointed out by external source). This is where the fuckup happened, I had one of those moments when your fore-brain lets slip a thought, that moves to your mouth, and exits, all while your hind-brain is going "Mate, what the fuck was even that?"

Looking at both pictures, taken about 4months apart I could tell the difference almost immediately, and before I had chance to stop the words leaving my slack mouth I blurted "Ah come on, you've lost an entire chin!"... The look on her face... It wont leave me, I see it before I go to sleep still, this wide eyed, jaw agape look of "Did you really just fucking say that?" the right thinking part of my brain was doing the "Aright I'm done" action while I tried to claw back what I'd said

Thankfully I lived to tell the tale, after explaining what I meant, showing her what I could see and smoothing that one over, but it was a massive lesson to pause and think before I speak. This is now and will always be referred to amongst us and our friends as 'The Chincident'

TL;DR: Wife was losing weight, wasn't sure she was progressing, I looked at progress pictures and told her she had lost an entire chin

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md724 t1_j5yn0jv wrote

It's always hard to see progress when you see yourself every day. Years ago I shed about 40 pounds and the first month I didn't see any change. When I had lunch with my sister and her daughters, it was the first thing they noticed.

While your thought to help her visualize progress was on the right track, it's important to remember the first thought is rarely the best thing to say out loud. I mess up when I try to be clever. My idea of clever is never the right thing to say.

Glad you and your relationship survived.

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shrike2214 OP t1_j6051hx wrote

Man yeah! I dropped something around 45lb and I still felt like I was overweight, found a shirt from 2019 and I could wrap it round myself. Its odd the things you don't notice because it's gradual. Same with mental health!

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blahbleh112233 t1_j603ll4 wrote

For real, especially since you look at yourself every day and its gradual. I lost 60lb through the pandemic and thought I didn't really change until I looked at my old photos.

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ShaderzXC t1_j60c4xa wrote

Yeah I stopped inspecting my physique after every gym session and instead only properly analysing it (which is necessary) every month or so. Now I actually see my progress with my own eyes and it makes it a lot easier for me to tell which muscles have & haven’t grown so I can mess with my routine if needed

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Eldhannas t1_j63crpm wrote

I lost about 10 kgs while working from home in the beginning of the pandemic. Didn't see much difference except on the scale. Went back to the office, and ngl, one guy commenting on my weight loss really made my day. Sadly the kg have sneaked back while I wasn't looking...

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AllanfromWales1 t1_j5yre62 wrote

Experience suggests it's worse if she's put on a chin. Hush your mouth in that case..

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shrike2214 OP t1_j6057zo wrote

Ah jeysus! That'd be what they call 'justifiable murder'

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shoulda-known-better t1_j601qwn wrote

THIS! yikes! All I could think is shit this guy messed up which picture was which or something like that! This sucked yes but thankfully it wasn't the worst thing! Glad it worked out

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stachemz t1_j612q0y wrote

That was what I was waiting for too.

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i_poop_alot t1_j5zz6hv wrote

My wife had been working out. She’s always been tall and skinny without much meat on her bones, but as she started working out she began to get a bit more muscle tone, and was obviously feeling stronger.

I don’t know where I got this in my head, but I had always perceived Thunder Thighs as a complement, meaning nice strong legs. Like volleyball player legs, for example.

So lo and behold, she didn’t feel complimented when I told her she’s “starting to get thunder thighs” since she began working out. We can laugh about it now, but it took some explaining.

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quinalou t1_j609si2 wrote

I'm not a native english speaker and up to this minute I had categorized thunder thighs in the positive category as well! Gotta use it thoughtfully then I guess lol

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ShaderzXC t1_j60ce3b wrote

To be fair as a native English speaker I assumed it was only positive too. Because the imagery created by thunder is powerful. Same thing with ‘lightning stripes’ and ‘boulder shoulders’

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stachemz t1_j614jck wrote

Reminds me of a Knight's Tale. "Your beauty will be reflected in the strength of my horse, the power of its flanks."

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PM-me-fancy-beer t1_j61tytx wrote

These seem like cool expressions if they were applied to a masculine person, but if I heard those I'd feel insulted. I think they come from a time when being thicc was not a good thing. You don't want to be seen to be strong, muscular or curvy when the 'ideal' is a beanpole

(That said, I have always had thunder thighs and I still see it as a negative expression, but use it as a term of endearment now for mine)

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shrike2214 OP t1_j605s47 wrote

Oh shit yeah, I've heard it used as both the derogatory and the positive too! Feels like you gotta "loving the thunda thighs" your way out of it. Or stick with "nice thighs, they'd make good ear warms"

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those_are_MY_organs t1_j6183g4 wrote

My fiance said this to me one time and I almost cried. I never heard it used in a positive light before, but he definitely meant it as such. Definitely took some explaining but he still says it to this day, usually as he's kissing them.

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hugostigletts t1_j60yxi9 wrote

"You lost a chin."

Jaw goes agape*

"Hey, now it's back."

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Khaoz_Se7en t1_j5zqwmc wrote

This sounds like a good thing

TIDFU

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ghostxstory t1_j616guy wrote

My partner and I went to a couple gym classes around the holidays and despite doing the exact same program I burned like twice as many calories as she did. We also did a diet for a bit last year and I lost about 10 more pounds than she did in the same timeframe. I think it’s tough when Male and Female partners try to lose weight doing the exact same things

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Mobely t1_j60anqb wrote

So she hit the gym, did she delete Facebook yet?

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PM-me-fancy-beer t1_j61ufj7 wrote

Oooooh. At least you didn't comment on her losing width around the breasts or butt. I had an ex who helpfully commented "you're definitely losing weight, your top's looser." Yeah man, because the first thing to go is always my boobs. I'd go from pear to triangle

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FlyGuy_2000 t1_j63e2m1 wrote

Should have added "well, hopefully the other 3 chins won't miss it too badly."

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734shottie t1_j61mrkr wrote

Thats her problem.... its called self esteem for a reason bro. Its esteem of yourself. How else could you be honest and say communication is key. Tell me i lost a chin ill buy you a steak dinner lol

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