Its not just learning what to say. It's learning to say much of anything. It took me ages to break being submissive and say things had gone to far.

Pain I could put up with to any extent really and much like ops girlfriend sounds if I was in a bad place in life, it potentially travels into the I hate myself and deserve this space. Rather than just haha I'm so naughty punish me daddy space. It's also really hard to not escalate the pain as you've already taken x before and you feel like a failure if one day you're super sensitive.

But choking I could tell my bf really liked and I enjoyed the high, no amount really gave me discomfort. But I'd be on the verge of passing out and be like "well I don't want to ruin it for him" and not try to communicate at all. Which was all well and good until ya know... passed out.

Not the best way to have to really work on talking. Was hard for me as my limits alwyas been above partners and I literally didn't know how to say anything in sub space, the words just wouldn't come out.