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Carniequeue t1_j53ihm6 wrote

I’m gonna level with you. Do you wanna tell him for him, or for you? What are the chances he finds out on his own, if you’re totally honest with yourself? You mention the guy has a recording but I don’t understand why he’d bother to share that.

I say this because it sounds like he is in a fragile place at the moment. It might be healthier for him for you not to rock the boat. People will say, “he deserves to know”, but that’s mostly ego and fear that they might find themselves in your partners shoes.

But this isn’t something to be taken lightly. Sometimes it is genuinely better for people not to know things. If it’s certain - or even likely- this will get back to him, it’s better to come from you. Otherwise itd be better if he never had to find out.

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Nuggs_and_drugs OP t1_j53jjg7 wrote

i have thought about not telling him but idk. i’m honestly gonna wait until i get to see him or hear from him to gage wether or not he can handle it. rn i’m leaning towards telling him

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Swimmyeli t1_j55mlr0 wrote

don't not tell him. horrible advice from the man above. he does deserve to know what you did, otherwise you would have to break up with him with a false reasoning. Cause you'd be making things worse if you didn't tell him and then STAYED.

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Nuggs_and_drugs OP t1_j5762yu wrote

but if he never knows he never hurts? it’ll weigh on my conscious but it won’t hurt him. idk i’m really torn because i know that he’s kinda in a fragile place rn. and it’s cheesy but he’s told me that i’m his one good thing rn and i don’t want to take that away from him. i’m still conflicted about everything. i’m leaning towards telling him anyways but it’s a lot of thinking going on here

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GsTSaien t1_j561mpb wrote

You should tell him. Letting him build himself for you just to break him later is worse. The truth may be a setback now but he can begin healing at least.

Unless being flirty and messing with others is something you both are ok with though, your relationship may be over.

I'm sorry that you messed up this bad, and I hope you can grow from it.

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