TIFU by getting drunk and cheating on my boyfriend

Submitted by Nuggs_and_drugs t3_10gkho1 in tifu

a lot of moving parts to this story so bare with me.

so firstly let me start by saying that i completely regret this action and honestly am ashamed of myself. but i did it and i need to face the consequences. anyways i’d thought i’d share this cuz it quite literally has imploded my life.

so it was my friends birthday and we all decided to head out downtown. the group consisted of my female friend (the birthday girl) her two other female friends, a male friend (let’s call him h) , and me…also a male. so we’re all walking around having fun and just vibing. we were talking and the topic of dating came up and i mention i have a boyfriend. h too says he has a boyfriend and so we both like show off our baes and whatever. we then made little jokes at the rest of the girls for not having boyfriends. but anyways after that someone pulled out some vodka that they had brought and we all started drinking from the bottle. i got drunk because i was not really thinking and just wanted to have fun. h drank too but i could tell he wasnt drunk. anyways so we end going to a big department store and me and h split up from the rest of the group. we go to a different floor and keep on chatting. im really hitting it off with him atp. like he is super cool and funny and exactly my type. but in my brain i was thinking calm down dude this man do not want you he got a whole ass man and you do too so simmer down hoe. we then end up walking in to the bathroom cuz h needed to go. so i go and wait by the sink and wash my hands. i wait for h to finish up and wash his hands.

this is the part of the story where i become a horrible fucking person.

so he turns around to go to dry his hands and i grab his hand and say wait. he turns to me with a smile on his face and he tells me what’s up. i tell him well what if we yk… and he says i mean idk im down. and im like okay. so we proceed to head into the big stall at the end and do some certain activities together. we finish and leave and act like nothing happened. we get back to our friends and im just sitting there thinking holy fuck what did i do. but my brain is too drunk to hold a coherent thought so i kind of just forget it(?) anyways that’s the big chunk of the story. you can stop reading there if you want but there is more that makes this exponentially worse.

so this dude recorded me. like an actual video of us doing stuff is on his phone just ripe for the sending. first of all that’s just really embarrassing like being apart of someone’s kind of porn stash. and second i’m nervous he’s gonna send it to my bf

also he told one of the friends about it. and that fucking sucks

and for the worst part imo, my boyfriend is kinda missing atm. i mean he hasn’t answered his phone or anything and i’ve asked a few of his friends but no one knows where he’s at. so that makes this worse because i can’t just rip off the bandaid and say hey babe i messed up i’m sorry let’s work on this together. also i’m pretty sure he’s in rehab because he mentioned trying to get into a program recently. so that makes it worse cuz he’s going for me basically since i’m the one who always is pushing him to quit drugs. So now how am I supposed to tell him? Hey, I know you went away to help yourself because of me but I cheated on you while you were doing that for me.

anyways it’s been a lot of stress and confusion on me to figure out what to do

edit#1 - grammar and spellcheck

UPDATE: so i have talked with the guy in this story and he has assured me he deleted the video and has shown me proof. thank you to everyone who was worried about that. my boyfriend still is mia and i’m really getting worried. slowly this whole fuckup is getting resolved so i’m glad about that

TL;DR - i got drunk and made moves on a dude who is my ideal dream dude despite me having a boyfriend and him also having a boyfriend. all this plus the fact that the dude recorded us, him telling a friend of ours, and my boyfriend is currently missing (i think in rehab) this is ofc gonna change our relationship and honestly there’s so many ways this can go i’m conflicted

0

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

PhantomTroupe-2 t1_j53aodn wrote

It’s hilarious that people get off on posting shit like this here. All typed with your left hand lol

214

Carniequeue t1_j53ihm6 wrote

I’m gonna level with you. Do you wanna tell him for him, or for you? What are the chances he finds out on his own, if you’re totally honest with yourself? You mention the guy has a recording but I don’t understand why he’d bother to share that.

I say this because it sounds like he is in a fragile place at the moment. It might be healthier for him for you not to rock the boat. People will say, “he deserves to know”, but that’s mostly ego and fear that they might find themselves in your partners shoes.

But this isn’t something to be taken lightly. Sometimes it is genuinely better for people not to know things. If it’s certain - or even likely- this will get back to him, it’s better to come from you. Otherwise itd be better if he never had to find out.

−18

ShillburtGrape t1_j53kh6o wrote

If you can't control yourself drinking, you shouldn't be drinking.

133

AcrobaticSource3 t1_j53mcbi wrote

> a lot of moving parts

There sure where, literally and figuratively

8

StiffKun t1_j53q5fc wrote

Replying to PhantomTroupe-2 (#1,412,608)

Facts. And every day I tune in and read people's dirty laundry like it's an episode of Jerry Springer.

The best part about Reddit is reading stories of people trainwreking their lives in real time.

51

PunkandCannonballer t1_j53tlr0 wrote

I don't even need to know how old you are to tell you need to grow the fuck up. You're about as mature as a green banana.

58

dabbean t1_j541v8u wrote

What a shitshow. Also, I've never known a single person go to rehab without telling someone, but I've known a bunch of addicts disappear for weeks on benders.

175

mberk24 t1_j552qvz wrote

I hope this experience doesn’t have long lasting repercussions for you. Here’s what you need to do.

Break up with your boyfriend and fix yourself. You shouldn’t be in a committed relationship, based on your behavior.

Contact this guy you hooked up with and find out if the video was shared and demand the video be deleted. If he doesn’t, get legal help immediately.

I wish you luck in getting through this situation.

15

GypsyToo t1_j557sys wrote

Boyfriend disappears and he treats it like nothing, what kind of a boyfriend is that?

I was drunk but I could tell he wasn't? WTF?

Keep trying. Who knows? Your fiction writing might improve.

15

Ir0n_Butterfly t1_j55bq6j wrote

You called that hookup guy your ideal dream dude. You did that. You wronged your boyfriend because you're not into him . You need to own up and let your boyfriend go.

25

AstonianSoldier t1_j55kttp wrote

This relationship is over. You killed it.

Just tell him and break up.

57

Swimmyeli t1_j55mlr0 wrote

Replying to Nuggs_and_drugs (#1,413,205)

don't not tell him. horrible advice from the man above. he does deserve to know what you did, otherwise you would have to break up with him with a false reasoning. Cause you'd be making things worse if you didn't tell him and then STAYED.

5

Bloodiest-Taint t1_j55qrur wrote

Bunch of dipshits on here who act like they’ve never messed up a day in their life and want to downvote you. If you truly think you won’t make the same mistake twice, then try to move on. Don’t tell him especially if he’s in rehab. He will definitely relapse due to the stress. Life is more important than drama.

−13

GsTSaien t1_j561mpb wrote

Replying to Nuggs_and_drugs (#1,413,205)

You should tell him. Letting him build himself for you just to break him later is worse. The truth may be a setback now but he can begin healing at least.

Unless being flirty and messing with others is something you both are ok with though, your relationship may be over.

I'm sorry that you messed up this bad, and I hope you can grow from it.

2

Rhye88 t1_j567dp2 wrote

change? the relationship is dead. If he has any self respect he should never look at you again. And if you have any decency left you tell him

5

Darkrhoads t1_j56e5je wrote

We have transcended to gay fan fiction. Nice. Tumblr is still alive in our hearts I see.

23

coffeebuzzbuzzz t1_j56gl2y wrote

How long has your bf been "missing"? That seems kinda odd for a significant other to do something major like go into rehab without mentioning it first. Unless this isn't as serious of a relationship as you thought it was.

3

Juice1784 t1_j56nhgr wrote

You seem like a shitty person from this story and I hope your “bf” leaves you after you tell him

3

jaxsotsllamallama t1_j56phzm wrote

Replying to Bloodiest-Taint (#1,418,951)

I am so confused by your reply lol. Some people are not cheaters and my saying that doesn’t make me a clout chaser…do you even know what that means? Lol you sound like a chronically online neckbeard who wants to sound hip with the lingo for the cool kids.

3

Slammogram t1_j56s2cl wrote

Honestly. I mean what you did is shitty.

Face the music for that.

Also, I think you should break up with your boyfriend. Being with an addict is one of the worst things honestly. It’s so isolating. It’s like being held hostage to their addiction. He can focus on himself better by himself. It will be better for both of you to break up it seems.

3

ShillburtGrape t1_j56uw7x wrote

Replying to _Forgotten (#1,416,285)

I mean, yeah absolutely. Alcohol does lower your inhibitions though, he was definitely impaired. It doesn't excuse it or make it right at all.

I did this to someone at one point, I haven't touched alcohol since 2018 because of the way I'd act on it. Lets hope OP learns from his mistakes and grows.

7

4_Legged_Duck t1_j56wro5 wrote

Pretty obvious OP fucked up and made bad choices and we are all commenting on that, but can we pause for a moment to depreciate how crappy this guy is for recording her without her permission? That crap is awful. Despite everything you did, OP, sorry that happened. Might want to look into a revenge porn laws in your state in case he posts/distributes, whatever.

4

Nuggs_and_drugs OP t1_j573rkq wrote

Replying to GypsyToo (#1,416,373)

seriously don’t understand where the skepticism comes from. it’s badly written sorry.

  1. he’s gone ghost before for a week or so and usually it’s because he gets in trouble with his family or the police or people on the streets

  2. i could tell he wasn’t drunk because he grabbed the bottle like twice the entire time we were out

this isn’t some fun writing prompt or anything this is a fuckup that i made that i feel terrible about.

0

Nuggs_and_drugs OP t1_j5762yu wrote

Replying to Swimmyeli (#1,417,254)

but if he never knows he never hurts? it’ll weigh on my conscious but it won’t hurt him. idk i’m really torn because i know that he’s kinda in a fragile place rn. and it’s cheesy but he’s told me that i’m his one good thing rn and i don’t want to take that away from him. i’m still conflicted about everything. i’m leaning towards telling him anyways but it’s a lot of thinking going on here

0

Teerw3nn t1_j578ale wrote

For the record him recording you guys without your knowledge is a felony. And you've got 2.5 years to decide what you want to do with the information I've given you.

Have a good day

9

Fr0stW4lker t1_j57maqn wrote

“I made an adult decision and now I’m paying the prices for said choices which include, realizing I made a mistake, my BF ghosting me for a completely valid reason, and getting called out for it on the internet.” Is the only way to read this.

Yes, you realized your “mistake”, I’m calling it a decision as someone that’s been cheated on, and that’s growth, but at the same time, He should completely ghosts you. It’ll feel a fraction of how bad as he must’ve felt when he found out.

I’m not saying you’re a shitty person, but you are. Learn from this and grow to do better in your next relationship should you get one

1

4_Legged_Duck t1_j57oy2y wrote

Replying to Nuggs_and_drugs (#1,420,769)

My mistake, I shouldn't have assumed. Apologies.

Legally, usually, there isn't. But posting it online? You can usually make the webhost take it down (or rather get a lawyer to send a letter if they won't). Making them delete it is a lot harder. You can always ask but there's no way to force that to happen. Good luck

2

Fr0stW4lker t1_j57qhv2 wrote

Replying to Nuggs_and_drugs (#1,421,928)

Are you sure he doesn’t know? Like with 100% certainty? H could’ve gotten in touch with him through the birthday girl or some other way. You never have to tell your SO you cheated because something changes immediately and there’s some way to tell.

2

Nuggs_and_drugs OP t1_j57r4o6 wrote

Replying to Fr0stW4lker (#1,422,103)

yes. this all happened on tuesday. he’s been missing since the beginning of january. that paired with the fact that he’s mentioned trying to get into a program makes me strongly believe this is the case.

0

Nuggs_and_drugs OP t1_j57rrgm wrote

Replying to Rellim80 (#1,422,159)

how do i do that? i would call his family but his mom doesn’t like me since she’s super super homophobic. plus ik it’s gonna sound strange but i’ve never been to his house actually. he is pretty poor and he’s told me that he doesn’t like showing that part of him to people too much. so i’ve never seen his house or been to it.

−6

ninjasylph t1_j57x4x3 wrote

Yes, you made a huge mistake, but that dude recorded you... How can that dude be your dream guy violating your privacy like that? You still have to face the consequences, but will he?

2

Guilty-Wishbone3335 t1_j5836z0 wrote

Don’t ever tell him, if you do tell him you’re doing it to be selfish and to get it off your chest, you fucked up now you’ll have to live with what you did, suck it up and be a man

0

AMightyWeasel t1_j589530 wrote

> edit#1 - grammar and spellcheck

If this is after editing…yikes.

2

suneejo t1_j58bkb2 wrote

Replying to Nuggs_and_drugs (#1,422,180)

Just call your local jail (# can be found online) and ask if they have an inmate named your bf's name (first and last) and they'll look it up and tell you. It's public info, so you don't need to be family or anything like that.

7

Phatcat15 t1_j58h2bq wrote

TBH I think you’re protecting yourself by blaming alcohol. It’s never an excuse - and you need to examine your own behaviors and thoughts without trying to shield it by blaming the booze. It’s clear you didn’t black out - so this is 100% on you regardless if booze made it easier to make a choice it sounds like you would take sober.

3

Domenstain t1_j59ckzy wrote

Boy that Edit #1 Grammar and spellcheck is a rollercoaster after reading the car crash of a post

2

DBMS_LAH t1_j59tc6t wrote

You "regret it" but seem to fawn over "h" in your post. Piss off.

3

ZIGGYMUNDI t1_j5bomsu wrote

This is just all kinds of fucked up. Cheating…and the boyfriend is just “missing”? Weird AF but good luck with everything and at least you’re regretful.

1

rasberrryjam t1_j5cgkze wrote

first of all, im so sorry you were recorded without your consent. is there any update on if he has deleted anything? that’s not okay at all and must be so stressful for you:(

second, i don’t know how old you are so sorry if this sounds too prescriptive, but i think it’s a good time to reevaluate what you are wanting for yourself right now. a relationship might not be what you need right now and that’s okay! the best thing to do is tell your partner everything. he deserves that much from you. you explored other options for a reason, maybe that’s a sign this isn’t the guy you want. if it is you can only hope he gives you a chance to try again. but if you find yourself having urges again you obviously don’t want this person enough and he doesn’t deserve someone that only half wants him

good luck and hope your boyfriend is safe and sound. <3

1

tigolex t1_j5cs5f0 wrote

I'm going to guess you are in your late teens to early twenties.

1

TheShovler44 t1_j5gkg0m wrote

Replying to dabbean (#1,414,201)

I’ve had friends go like that. There’s a few around me where you have to be actively using to get in so they go high as kite and you know junkies don’t always think straight.

3

jtfolden t1_j5nfxiy wrote

What exactly are you even doing to find the missing boyfriend? This entire story is trivial nonsense compared to the extreme lack of care that someone has been MIA since the beginning of the month…

1

Nuggs_and_drugs OP t1_j5qwpi7 wrote

Replying to jtfolden (#1,463,554)

i mean there’s not much left that i can do. i’ve contacted his friends, gone to his school, gone to his neighborhood, called the local jail to see if he was arrested. i haven’t gone to his house cuz i don’t know where he lives and i don’t have his family’s number

1

jtfolden t1_j5ute52 wrote

Replying to Nuggs_and_drugs (#1,489,257)

Yeah I’m sorry but between not knowing where he lives and the fact he might go to rehab without telling you - that’s just weird to me. That’s a shocking lack of communication. Being ashamed of his home environment or his family, etc, is completely understandable. Not actually knowing his address or having any way to verify his condition with someone else who knows him is really weird. I hope he’s ok. If my bf was missing for more than 48 hours I’d be pounding on doors.

1