Thanks, man. It's rough, but we'll make it through

If there is something I can share that will help you, it is this -

Don't be afraid to tell her how you feel. Ideally, talk to her about it - not over a text. If she is as close of a friend as you think and she is mature enough, she will understand and respectfully tell you how she feels about it. If she doesn't, then was she really the type of person that could have given you what you want in a relationship?

I spent a week figuring out if I wanted to ask out my friend, because she is my best friend and it's the first time I wanted to ask a friend. When I did, she paused, sure, but she also told me what she thought and didn't cut me off. Did it hurt? Yes, it hurt a lot and it still does. However, I have found some peace of mind that I can go talk to other women and look for what I want. She helped me figure out what that was, even though that was never intended

Would it be nice if she came around? Yep, it would. But we have to be real with ourselves. The only thing we can control in life is what we do, not what others do. We can use that to protect or to hurt ourselves.

The replies here and my friends I've spoken to over the past day have helped me realize this and reset. When I'm ready to reach out to her again, I hope we could be friends again. If she decides that's not ok at that time, then that is also fine. I said what I needed to say to her, and now that is off my chest