That is..... such a weird thing to say. Like just in general..

Ha ha.. that’s awesome!

I wouldn’t worry about it I say vulgar shit all the time at work.. granted it’s a pretty relaxed atmosphere

My god… and THEN you doubled down… ☠️

Oh all the things you could have said…..why that? Sucks your ingredients didn’t come this week but not the end of the world. Don’t be surprised if you never get to pick the special again.

Im assuming that it must be a pretty small list then...

How many ingredients are there? Can it all be tattoo there ?

>I told him I'd tattoo my order on my dick so he could check it out any time.

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I say embrace it! Hone in on this part of yourself and become the next Gordon Ramsay. It was kind of an odd thing to say but you’ll get better over time.

It truly is a strange thing to say. I'm not sure what came over me. But it was like talking to an old friend where nothing is off limits... In front of a random old guy...

Yeah, at the moment it seemed like such a good recovery. It was not.

2 eggs maybe

Working in food service is just different..

You are totally right. I'd have to make "Pork" and "belly" on different lines just so it would fit my length.

In my experience, it’s good practice not to use the word dick during the first 5 minutes of meeting someone 😂 Even if it’s just within earshot.

I am training to be the new executive chef after he goes to open a new restaurant. So I just hope it doesn't stop the promotion. I'm not too worried though. He is a good sport, and he has worked in kitchens for a long time, so he has heard worse. But I am very ashamed!

Thankfully it was a small list, but "pork" and "belly will have to be their own lines.

Same here. Andy has been working in kitchens forever, and he has heard almost everything. He didn't care much at all. Thank you for your thoughts.

This is the perfect gif! Thank you!

You’re totally fine.. a couple weeks from now you will be laughing about it.

People have so much of their own shit to worry about that’s nothing.. even though you think they are thinking about what you did.. they aren’t, gotta keep that in mind

I don't show my friends my dick and I've known some for 15+ years

I thought vulgar talk like this was normal in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay talks to his chefs like this. /s

Really?? That is weird, right? You are the weird one here... Right? /s

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OPs next update: TIFU by getting ingredients tattooed on my dick

Not that you said it, but that you said it in front of a stranger who could represent only God knows what...

Kind of wouldn't be surprised if he special ordered your ingredients to get them to you on time, and as a horrid gag, had coworkers pin you to the wall during a rush hour in front of the whole kitchen, pull down your pants in front of everybody, and as you struggled and yelled, then say "Well, hell, nevermind, just wanted to make sure I got this shopping list right! Here, stir this with your magic dick!" ...and toss the bag to you while you struggle to pull up your pants and not trip over yourself...

Bet that other guy will NEVER forget anything you order!

Good luck with the promotion. I have said many vulgar things at work, and even once to our BP when he ticked me off when I was having a shitty day, so I get it. Doing it in front of others is usually a bad call.

Food reps have heard it all. Lmao that’s hilarious

Pro-tip - never meet anyone whose first name is "Richard" :)

You should definitely talk to him. If you make him come to you to acknowledge your wrong doing you’ll be worse off. If you want him to put you in a position of responsibility you have to show that you can take responsibility.

When you go to so many different kitchens, you are bound to run into every flavor of crazy.

You are totally right. The next time I saw him I apologized. He laughed about it, and told me paper would be sufficient.

This man is the opposite of everything you've seen about chefs on TV. He is always as cool as a cucumber. I've seen the man cry a couple times, but I've never seen him lose his cool. He is frustratingly calm, to the point that I thought he didn't care at all for a long time. He cares a lot, just not as much about the food as the people.

You know those diagrams where they draw dotted lines on a profile picture of an animal to identify what cuts come from where?

Op didn't either. He just joked about it

He mentioned working in gastro and, uh, this looks pretty par the course. Those who suffer from foot-in-mouth-itis fit right in.

Source: the last time I told someone to suck my dick was when I worked as a bartender. I do not in fact own a dick.

Savage!!!!

My name happens to be Harold Richard Enballz what's so funny?

It’s the industry for it. My friend (M) once told me (F) to “Get off his dick” when I was jokingly nagging him about something. A 50’s F server heard and was horrified. Friend tried to defend himself that he learned the phrase from me. She didn’t believe him and he looked like the asshole. He 100% did get it from me. 😂

Food biz is food biz. Im sure OP is fine.

Once you have fucked up you might as well commit to it.

I hear some food service people curse more than sailors.

Bro you made it worse 😭😭😭😭😭

Lmao, i think the doubling down was genius.

You should cook some hot dogs and write what you need on the frank.

Not this time at least!

We throw around some really nasty insults in our kitchen. My personal favorite is calling someone a "dog water napkin."

Least vulgar restaurant worker.

I used to work with a lesbian that would tell people to suck her plastic dick.

So,.. your old friend now boss, you just told the food rep that he sucks your dick. Just bc Andy hasn't said anything doesn't mean there isn't going to be pent up resentment. Sounds like to enjoy running power plays on Andy. I'd be careful if you like your job, as you just put up huge red flags.

Once in a meeting we were discussing how we would reward employees for metrics. While talking about the budget I said "well obviously we don't want to blow our load on just one employee"

We quickly moved on

Amen to that.

It's only for the show. He's actually very polite in person.

You make excellent points for most scenarios in life. I'm not too worried about this one though, kitchens are a pretty different atmosphere. I'll update if they fire me, but I'm not too worried. This is not the type of thing Andy holds onto. Empty words won't hurt the man.

That is so funny! I worked for a larger organization that hosted a yearly fund raiser called "the big grape". We had an E-mail chain get started by a female manager to talk about the event, but they missed a "G" in their subject line in the E-mail. For the next month we were all making jokes about the "bi grape." You can imagine where it went from there with kitchen staff.

Lol

Can 110% confirm

My lip reading is bit rusty. Is Gordon telling me my journey is extra juicy?

A lot depends on what image Andy was intending to project to this supplier/food rep? If he feels that you tarnished his image or the image of your restaurant?

A certain amount of banter might be fine in a non public setting but less desirable for others. If he's a friend apologised and ask if he's offended.

The only way to really embrace it is to tattoo the list on his dick

We have already talked, and he said the two of them had a good laugh after I talked big then walked away looking like a tomato. I am sure he doesn't hold a grudge. This man will walk into the kitchen on a Friday night, and announce himself with "it's gonna be okay everyone, Mr. cuk is here, and I'll make sure you guys don't get fucked too hard."

Andy should have replied, without hesitating, "Right, so more Spotted Dick then?"

Andy Dick is going to love that joke. He'll take it anytime.

At least it wasn't the big rape.

Ppl who haven’t worked in restaurants don’t get it. It’ll be fine. (But do feel free to update us with his reaction??)

Yeah, I always meticulously checked how I spelled it after that for that exact reason!

At least it's not Biggus Dickus.

I mentioned it in another comment somewhere in here, but I went to apologize for undermining him in a professional setting. He said that he had a good laugh with the food rep after I "talked a big game then walked away looking like a tomato." He said both of them has heard worse, but he isn't usually left speechless. Then he told me he can't wait to check out the list I have for him with a sly wink.

Lengthy words are off the table, but there is enough girth for a long list

...heard Chef.

He has a wife, you know. Do you want to know her name?

You could have it tattooed like names on a crayon, going around the barrel instead of down it. That way you get much longer lines..........well......depends on how endowed.

Every Richard I've known was a dick anyways...

r/KitchenConfidential might appreciate this

I'm gonna grape you!!!

Yeah I've worked in restaurants for over 2 decades, I've heard/seen far worse.

We sure fucking do. My boyfriend was in the navy, and while we both swear more than the usual person, he was SHOCKED to hear how my mom and I talk in normal conversation.

I think it's a strong chance they laughed about that

I mean unless this is your food rep’s first stop on his first day on the job, I’m sure he’s heard worse. Unless my standards are askew from years of Florida restaurants

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Shit I’ll say worse to the sautée station twice before the dinner rush hits

almost more than military too

Yeah I've definitely told...probably too many past and present coworkers to suck my dick. I don't have one, but yeah

Thwow him to de fwow!!

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After much consideration I'm inclined to agree

Presses lips together with an "Oh God please don't tell me" look in my eyes.

I'm gonna tie you to the radiator and grape ya!

The second you have updates I need to know.

Empty words!? So are you saying you wouldn’t actually let him see your dick any time he wants?? He might be more upset by that.

Edit: sick->dick…thanks autocorrect

Second that

It is normal lol. Thats on the lighter side of what ive experienced in the back of the restaurant

Lol honestly that sounds like par for the course, I worked under someone who was in iron chef. They dont talk like that in front of reps but they also wouldnt bat an eye

Ahh, the good ol’ restaurant penis-showing game. Tattoo it on your balls, that way when you show him the Bat Wing he’ll earn some kicks and see the list on your dick. Gotta mix work with pleasure.

This is exactly what I thought typical kitchen banter but infront of a rep ouchhh 😂

Exec chef forgot to order 10lb of tube-steak

Or last name. Source: work with a guy whose last name is Richard

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IT WAS

Yes and no. If you've worked on a kitchen line with guys this is pretty much how it goes. There is no HR on the line.

Watch "Waiting..." you'll see.

The Grapeist

https://youtu.be/QYU_Za72xdQ

What if I want more than the tip?

That's the cool thing about this gif-those white squiggly lines at the bottom are characters of an alphabet arranged in a system known as written language, and when your brain is properly trained they actually convey what Gordon Ramsay is saying so that you don't even have to lip read!

Sweet Dee, is that you?

Does that mean you two had sex?

I do think understand, does he give you BJ’s on the reg?

If this were an office, it would be bad. It's not that bad in food service.

Checked out your profile and apparently this isn’t the first time you’ve told your boss to “check out your dick”

Well. Time for a new job.

Cause god knows I couldn’t recover on that level of awkwardness.

Mortified? I don’t see that as particularly shocking. Food industry runs on bottled rage, drugs, dark humor, and sexual tension. This seems to fall somewhere in there.

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We have not had sex, but there is a running gag our coworkers enjoy. The basis is that he is a cuk, he watches me do stuff with his wife, and he does stuff with my girlfriend. Just to make sure there is no confusion though, This is a joke made up by coworkers.

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More of a Wendy than a Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day

Glad it worked out. Did he forget to order the ingredients? Or was there some fuck up with the supplier?

I tend to call people dickless losers, whether they might have a dick, or not.

……………. ………………… …………………….Incontinentia Buttocks

All the people in here confused as to why anyone would say that to their boss.

Meanwhile kitchen staff

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Or in the case of his tattoo - dick read.

Absolute legend

“Hi, my name’s dick!”

“Hi… uhm, sir… so sorry, I’ll be back in about 6 minutes”

I don't know, I've never seen Gordon's tattoo.

a accidentally looks like an o

He lost the note I handed him, and then he forgot to order my stuff. It all worked out though, we just started our new weekly special on Thursday instead of Wednesday. No guests ever knew the difference. Lol

I'm very familiar with large company whose CEO regularly says that "this will be the money shot!" and it's an inside joke among us all now. iykyk

I used to work for a guy that had a stick so far up his ass he couldn't slouch- didn't cuss, didn't joke, everything was dead serious business.

One day I went into his office and said "The network is going to go down for 20 minutes during lunch. Someone mucked up the firmware on the firewall and I have to reflash it."

He stared at me for 10-15 seconds...I was waiting to get yelled at for someone else's mistake....but then he just went "OK. Let me know when it's done."

Later that day I was in a meeting with some co-workers, he walked in, and blurted out "Hey...did you find out who fucked up that firmware?"

I was shocked...he never used that word in the office the entire 10 years I was there. I blinked a couple of times and said "Excuse me?"

He got a bit huffy, then in a forceful voice retorted "Yeah, I want to know who...in your words...fucked up the software. If we're talking like that in the office, I'm joining in." (I'm going to note he looked physically PAINED to say the f-word. I honestly think he's never said it before.)

Again, I blinked a couple of times and replied "I actually said 'MUCKED up the firmware.'"

We just stared at each other for a while...him looking at a room full for 10 people...and he mumbled "Oh...my mistake..." as he shuffled out of the room.

Sounds like you guys still couldn’t find the “G” lmao