My wife and I adopted a kitten when he was four months old. We’re a same sex couple, and his foster home was made up of a woman and her mother. Most of the cat rescue organization he came from is made up of women as well. He is super cute, orange and kind of dumb. He thinks ponytails or long hair are toys, and he likes to sit on the backs of chairs or couches and groom us or chase my wife’s ponytail. It’s not like he bites or hurts, so it’s fine, let him have fun.

I generally try to patronize and buy from women-owned brands and stores. Also, I don’t get out much. My dad and I don’t get along because he has anger issues.

I do have male friends, but one is across the country from me, and the other moved to South Korea. My only brother lives in DC.

When we get pet sitters, we use a friend of my wife’s, who is single for the past year or so. My family has also learned to do many tasks at home ourselves, like repairs and cooking from scratch. Deliveries come to the apartment entrance where kitten is not allowed.

One day, the kitten was having trouble with transitioning to better quality food. He had it out both ends and seemed tired, though still full of beans (and farts!) Worried, I made a vet appointment for the Saturday, since that day was cat-only at the office and I didn’t want the little guy to be scared.

So I took him to the vet. The main owner and vet was running things that day. The vet is one of the only dudes I know locally, aside from an elderly neighbor my kitten has not met.

Kitten saw a much taller, odd-smelling human with a full beard, and was freaked out! Not aggressive, but he looked so confused by…maleness, I guess? When the vet picked him up. Vet is great, very good with all animals

But Mr. Kitty found the one similar thing on this new strange human- hair! A long bit of it hanging down, although it was in front, not back. He loves hair and thinks everything is a toy…

Yep. Kitten reared back, batted at, and chomped on the vet’s beard as if it were a ponytail! But this beard was considerably shorter.

Yep. He accidentally took a fucking CHOMP on the vet’s chin! I started laughing and looked like a psycho, until I could be coherent enough to explain how my kitten got his wires crossed.

Luckily, the vet was not mad for long. I left with probiotics for kitten, and instructions to try to socialize him with men. I realized only then that kitten had NEVER seen any guys before, ever.

TL;DR: Accidentally raised a kitten to dislike men and chomp beards, by being an independent-minded lesbian who lets kitten play with hair.