TW: racism

Let me preface this by saying that I grew up in a wealthy town in GA where I never actually came into contact with any people of color. I went to private school my whole life and I only met one black kid at school and there were a few janitors who I thought were super cool that I talked to because I thought it was super nice of them to clean up after we got the cafeteria so messy at lunch. Like, how nice? The only relationship I ever had with anyone of color was with maids and nannies. This was also at a time where Denzel Washington and Oprah were basically the only representation in media.

So, onto my story. I'm a freshman in high school and I ask my parents if I can have my two best friends, Kristen and Shanique, come over to spend the night. My father tells me that Kristen can come, but Shanique cannot. I was confused, I didn't know why, so I asked him. He told me, "because she doesn't need to see what she will never have." I was baffled. As far as I was concerned, everyone that went to my school was paying to go, but apparently Shanique's older brother was an athlete and they were on scholarship, actually, every black student was on scholarship. I had no idea because I just assume everyone is equal in everyway including money, because why not? My dad told me that we aren't and never will be. I never mentioned her race either, but her name kind of gave it away.

I was disgusted by my father. From that moment on, I had no respect for him. What kind of person could say such a thing about another human being knowing nothing about them? Hell, her brother was an athlete at a school known to produce professional athletes, she could easily end up well off. Also, this education could get her far in life. So, I thought, FU sir, I do what I want.

So when lacrosse season was over, the 3 of us had to find another PE and we chose to walk a mile around the neighborhood, which just so happened to go by my house. We told the teacher we were going to stop by my house for snacks. I was so smart, that I forgot my key, we grabbed the hide-a-key and went in through the front door and passed the den, which should have never happened. When we got into the kitchen, we saw my mom and she turned white as a ghost, which I was completely baffled by because she knew Shanique and liked her, so I was confused. After we had our snacks, we were pushed out the back door and sent on our way.

That night my parents had a fight. Well, I got yelled at by my father first for going against what he said and then they had a fight. What I learned was that we apparently have a shrine to black oppression in our house. I thought it was completely normal. I was always told that it was a part of history. There were golliwogs, dolls, figurines, and even a cast-iron sign that showed white/colored drinking fountains, which were my dad's pride and joy. I specifically remember how excited he was when he got that sign. One thing I remember from being a kid was this doll that was white, but if you flipped the skirt was black. It was from slavery times for the slaves who wanted a doll to look like them, but if they were caught with it, they would be whipped, so it had to be able to turn into a white doll quickly. I thought it was a really cool piece of history. I had no idea that this was all blatant racism.

That weekend, the shrine was finally taken down because my mother knew that I would bring her over again because I am stubborn as hell and obviously oblivious to the fact of what was going on in my own home. Shanique never said anything to me about the shrine, but I can't imagine that she didn't see it because it took up a huge portion of the room and the giant black golliwogs stand out. She also mentioned other dolls that were in other rooms of the house, so she must've noticed and was just in shock or embarrassed/enraged. Maybe the fact that they were gone the next time she came made her feel more at ease, I'm not sure, but this was definitely the biggest fuck up I've ever done.

TLDR: TIFU by exposing my best friend to a racist shrine of black oppression that my father kept displayed in the house.