This story starts about an hour ago when I got out of the shower, when I had noticed a particularly large white bump on my privates. So I did what any idiot would do and wanted to see if I could just.. pop it, like a zit. After a few uncomfortable minutes of attempting different angles I knew I wasn't going to be able to get it out using just my fingers. So, I pulled out my acne/manicure kit and grabbed an acne removal needle. After poking at what I had mistaken for acne I found it was actually completely solid. It was at this point I started growing more worried and started looking for answers online and couldn't find anything to match what I was looking for, so I ventured onward.. by grabbing the dead skin removing knife from the kit and trying to cut out this massive bump. So after 40 minutes of craning my neck, bleeding all over a rag I sat on and going through way more rubbing alcohol and swear words than I should have; I finally managed to remove what was actually an ingrown hair which was at one point infected, and the remaining pus had solidified.

TLDR: I tried to remove what I thought was a zit and instead played operation where the sun doesn't shine in an attempt to remove an 3/4 inch ingrown hair with old rock hard pus which I now know is called a skin abcess. I'd post a picture if I could.