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Kizag t1_j60hs0g wrote

Your parents sound terrible which is why I recommend reporting the items as stolen. You had a verbal agreement for the items to be pawned and they broke that agreement. You have every right to seek the return of your property or at the very least receive reparation's for the lost property. Saddens me to hear this happened to you as I and im sure many, many others know the feeling of being betrayed by a loved one.


[deleted] OP t1_j60hvez wrote



buzz1089 t1_j60pp93 wrote

Tell the cops. The pawnshop has no reason to give it back because it means they lose money so they won't.


SandPractical8245 t1_j60sl2a wrote

Unfortunately from a legal standpoint, this would be a civil case. He willingly gave the coins to his parents, even if it was under false pretenses. So for example, if I ask to borrow your car to go around the block and get permission, but really I drive to the next town over, you can't report the car stolen. I have the keys, and gained possession legally. That removes it from police hands, and moves it into courts jurisdiction.


BowzersMom t1_j60x6fd wrote

Lol. If you took my car to the next town over and I called the cops to report it as stolen, if they find you before you return the car the they will treat it as stolen and arrest you, and you will have to use my limited permission as a criminal defense. I’m that case, you’d better be VERY credible when explaining to the judge or jury that you really were going to return it, I was just too hasty!

However, if you returned it and then I found out you drove it further than intended and I then reported to police that you stole my car, they’d look in my driveway and say “that car? But it’s right here. Stop wasting our time.” But I’d still have the option to sue you at the current mileage rate, though it wouldn’t be worth it.

I’m not sure how the legal principals around a minor giving his parents his valuables to pawn shakes out. In reality it is very stupid to give someone something to pawn and expecting it back. But we’ve got a 16 year old kid trusting his parents and wanting to help them out. They’re clearly lowlifes for doing this.


LexLuthorsHairPiece t1_j61d5jk wrote

Was on a grand jury with a very similar case. The DA more or less said after hearing testimony from the minor in question and the police officer who filed the report that they didn't have a legal leg* to stand on since the plaintiff giving the items to his guardian (s).

*Edited to add leg.


[deleted] OP t1_j60xyqc wrote



3Shifty1Moose3 t1_j612c78 wrote

So I allow someone to borrow my car and they decide to not return it. That's not theft? Wtf clown world is this if that's not considered theft


BENDOWANDS t1_j613kp6 wrote

See my other comment for more info. But (at least in Missouri my) you can absolutely file that as stolen. My future sister in law works at a carmax. Someone test drove a car and was supposed to return in about 15 minutes. An hour later with no contact they reported it stolen and the kid was charged with vehicle theft.


SandPractical8245 t1_j613urp wrote

Responded to your other comment already! Theft by deception is different than grand theft auto.


BENDOWANDS t1_j61bbb5 wrote

My bad, didn't realize it was the same person. Still stolen regardless. Overall a really shitty situation for OP to be in.


Ghost17088 t1_j60vw77 wrote

Highly depends on the state. Theft by deception is a thing.


SandPractical8245 t1_j60wqiy wrote

You're absolutely right! In the states where theft by deception is chargeable, there would still be a gray area because of the intention of pawning vs selling. Op admitted in their post that they knew their parents would not ever get the items out of pawn, which means they knew there was a risk of losing it overall either way. I am in no way sticking up for the parents, just stating what case an attorney may be able to make in regards to that specific charge.


BENDOWANDS t1_j612to6 wrote


This actually happened at my future sister in laws work (Carmax). They had an employee that wanted to test drive one of the new sports cars that was around. They gave him like 15 minutes or so, after an hour or so of it missing (and not being able to contact the person) I believe is when they called the cops to report it stolen.

The rest of the story gets into a giant jumbled mess, but regardless, how he got it and what he did with it are entirely different things.

Otherwise I'm going to borrow your car, and then just never give it back. But it's not stealing because I got it legally in the first place and had permission to.

Edit: the other person mentioning being a minor giving it to parents to loan out makes a fair point unfortunately for OP. The law likely won't favor towards OP.


SandPractical8245 t1_j613dwp wrote

A valet driving off with your car would also be theft by deception, the crime you are describing. This isn't a crime in every state, but there is no state where you can be charged with grand theft auto if you have the keys unless you also committed robbery/breaking and entering to get the keys. That "permission" you discussed is what eliminates culpability on the driver's part. You can't withdraw permission anytime you want and make it a crime.


U_Dun_Know_Who_I_Am t1_j61ch57 wrote

This is more like the parents asked to borrow the car for a week, and a week later when you asked about it you find out they sold it.


ark_mod t1_j60ptxd wrote

Of course they did - they don't want to be accused of having stolen goods.

The reality is if you file a police report you will get your coins back from the pawn shop. However, the police will file charges against your parents.

You would need to decide - do you value your relationship with your parents or your memories with your grandpa more.


[deleted] OP t1_j60q8yu wrote



FiliaMortis t1_j60qv3v wrote

Please do (after you secure a new place to live). Just because they’re your parents, that doesn’t give them the right to steal from you. You tried to resolve it with talking and they didn’t even try to negotiate, so this is entirely on them.

Edit: The parts in brackets.


blahbleh112233 t1_j60sjo0 wrote

That sounds great but he's still going to have to live with his parents. If he's underage, then it's a recipe for getting kicked out of the house at an early age.

I swear reddit loves doing this and telling people to file labor abuse claims with the state.


FiliaMortis t1_j60syss wrote

They’re just going to keep using him as a paycheck anyway, according to OP’s other comments. He’s not allowed by his parents to get a job since they use him for social security income, and I bet you anything that they’re going to destroy his credit by opening cards under his name.

There’s no ideal solution here, either he bears with the abuse (which this absolutely is) until he’s a legal adult or he starts standing up for himself.


blahbleh112233 t1_j60t9gi wrote

You do realize living in a home is significantly better than being literally homeless right? OP needs to cut all ties as fast as he can but doing it with zero preparation is just going to land him on the streets. But let reddit be reddit in giving utterly terrible advice


FiliaMortis t1_j60ttxx wrote

He doesn’t have to do it right this instant. Once he’s got an exit in progress, he most definitely should report his parents.


[deleted] OP t1_j60uf8g wrote



FiliaMortis t1_j60umdg wrote

Yea, I should’ve clarify that in my original comment. That one’s on me.


[deleted] OP t1_j60vsey wrote



FiliaMortis t1_j60w5cq wrote

Understandable to be honest, looking from your perspective, I’d have reacted the same way to my own comment. A lot of us get incensed by any form of injustice, and are quick to suggest seeking justice, while being incredibly short-sighted about it.

Thank you for your first comment in pointing out that my original comment was too hasty in that. We all want the OP to come out of this winning, but most importantly, safe and okay.


Letifer_Umbra t1_j60vale wrote

It sounds as if he is living alone already to me, so in that case yeah if he doesn't have a bond with them anyway who cares.


blahbleh112233 t1_j60vqht wrote

That would be a pretty unique situation considering his parents are his caretaker for the SSI


HRNK t1_j60rx73 wrote

The longer you wait, the less silver you'll be able to recover.


Letifer_Umbra t1_j60v5bl wrote

I could forgive the pawning it, I could forgive the buying smokes from it, but to pretend it didn't even happen and as if they have no clue what it was about - yeah sue their asses.


Makifo t1_j618idk wrote

100% file a police report. They might be able to recover the coins. Pawn shops have to keep slips on everything.


Ghost17088 t1_j60vpmf wrote

Well yeah, if they agreed with you they would essentially be admitting to buying and selling stolen property. That could cost them their business and depending on the state/value of them could be a felony as well.


PAdogooder t1_j61bki4 wrote

Unfortunately, as a minor, you don’t really get to have property or make contracts. Your parents sold your silver to pay their bills and made choices you disagree with. You didn’t fuck up. They did.

The good news is that while you did lose something of immense sentimental value, you didn’t lose that much money. It feels like a lot now but the hundreds of dollars your parents wasted showing you who they are is a drop in the bucket compared to what you can save by prepping to be independent when you turn 18.

I hate it for you, friend, but this is one of those things that is best assigned to tuition in the school of life and is only wasted if you don’t get the best lesson out of it.


shoulda-known-better t1_j60vtia wrote

Ugh it's harsh but the only way to get it from the pawn shop would be to file a police report on your parents..... shitty move definitely! (If they are shitty people and your young lock your SS# until your wanting to actually use it!! Just in case!!)


Salt_Sun111111 t1_j615ky4 wrote

Pawnshop owners see these situations all the time and they won’t budge without a police record. They’re pretty predatory in that regard but from their perspective, there’s always someone with a sob story every day and they’re pretty callous to which ones are real or not. Police report is the way to go.


Fun-Pea-880 t1_j615q3i wrote

I would take it to civil court and sue your parents. Sure it will burn your bridges with your parents, but that bridge isn't worth saving.


kingferret53 t1_j60fatx wrote

My mom would promise to pawn and get out my stuff, too. She only kept half of that promise. Now, I don't trust her with anything. When you move out, you can start the collection again.


[deleted] OP t1_j60ffzw wrote



kingferret53 t1_j60szuy wrote

I get that, too. I meant to collect new ones to honor that time.


Fl45hb4c t1_j6114m4 wrote

Here's a thought for ya OP, why not try to get your hands on a couple of dollars (don't need much), and go to the pawnshop with a picture of your parents. Ask if they can show you the items your parents brought in (show them the picture and be like "these people") and ask for one little piece of it just as a souvenir?

You can eventually build another collection, but having the starting piece he from you and your grandpa... That will be the perfect way to start!


MamaDee1959 t1_j619ujx wrote

That is a great idea!!! I hope you consider that OP!! If at all possible, maybe you could ask SSA for someone ELSE to be your payee for you SSI or SSDI!


GreboGuru t1_j6157c4 wrote

In time you will realize that it's the memories that count and not the physical object. However, what happened to you isn't the way to learn this lesson, sorry that it happened yo you.


kdavis37 t1_j61a9rw wrote

My grandfather also collected coins with me and I'm borderline for ASD.

When he passed, my cousin and aunt took any of the coins worth anything and left me with the wheat pennies (they went down before he passed and went through everything without anyone else finding out until after he'd passed). I'm sad that I didn't get the beautiful things, like the walking liberty half dollars, but I still have something to remember him by.

The collection has me collecting now, in a way that's almost like spending some time with my papa again.

The depression hurts now. The collection won't fix it, but it'll be something to grow into the hole again and help you remember.

It won't replace the sentiment, but it'll help you remember it, which can be worth a lot.


-the-spork- t1_j60jkme wrote

report this to the police as theft


[deleted] OP t1_j60jo8l wrote



IndeGhost t1_j60qoko wrote

I can't believe a 16yr old is being down voted for not wanting his parents arrested. Not to mention having autism and dealing with all the implications with having your parents who provide for you arrested. He has a very good point here as well, yeah I'm sure the cops are just gonna go

"Ah well, he said they stole it so, book em boys!"

Let's say it does play it like that, now what's he gonna do? Maybe some family member would take him in, if they're not against him for putting parents in jail. If not then what, the foster care system?

I can only think it's children replying to you or people absolutely out of touch with reality. OP Sorry your parents are ignorant and treat you like this, I don't know your situation at all but if your parents aren't utterly evil then make it well known you won't stand being walked over, don't let them hide you away and shelter you from things if you feel you can handle whatever it is.

Some parents are very ignorant to the point of causing harm, unless it's truly abusive and being on the streets is better, then as someone who had fairly ignorant parents what improved my situation is standing up for myself. I don't know your full situation I can only offer that surface level advice, best of luck.


harlojones t1_j60rcww wrote

Oh yeah and then his parents lose the mortgage and everything is fucked forever, Redditors are sooooooo detached.


thisisdrivingmebatty t1_j60use0 wrote

The mortgage they lied about paying. They never used the money for the "mortgage," it was wasted on tobacco and fast food.


harlojones t1_j610crw wrote

That doesn’t mean the mortgage doesn’t exist? If the parents pick up charges that could easily complicate what sounds like an already delicate situation. Them lying about fast food and tobacco is irrelevant to the future of their mortgage.


thisisdrivingmebatty t1_j613glc wrote

Again, they lied about needing money for the mortgage. There's no indication about it being in jeopardy at all, they just wanted easy money to spend.


harlojones t1_j613n4n wrote

Nobody pawns things when things are 100% okay. Do you really have such a ridiculous thought process that you think they’re fine financially and just wanted to pawn their son/fathers silver collection to get some McDonald’s and cigarettes? Things are most likely not ideal.


thisisdrivingmebatty t1_j61sigy wrote

Ok, but even if things ARE truly that desperate, that's the parents' responsibility to manage, not a 16 year old kid. If they didn't want to further endanger their finances they shouldn't have committed a crime, which is what they've done. If anyone has a ridiculous thought process here, it's you thinking that anyone but the parents are at fault here.


harlojones t1_j61x9jx wrote

Tha fuck are you talking about, obviously the financial situation the parents fault and their burden to bare, that doesn’t change the fact that this child has a decision to make, report his parents to the police and deal with whatever mountain of ramifications come with that, or wait it out two years until he can move out and not implode his life and cause further hardship.


[deleted] OP t1_j60nrpq wrote



harlojones t1_j60p0ot wrote

And then what? OP is homeless because his parents actually hate him now and OP has to go to court to deal with the fucking follow up of calling the police on his parents. That is a great answer for someone sitting at their keyboard completely disconnected from the situation. First of all OP needs to become self sufficient or their entire world could disappear and they’ll end up much worse off than just missing their silver collection.

Edit: and y’all are downvoting them for saying they don’t want to call the cops on their parents. What a joke.


[deleted] OP t1_j60pjau wrote



SpecialpOps t1_j613j9c wrote

This is a really crappy situation. Do you have any trusted adults at your school or in your family you can talk to you about this?

The school might be able to help out as this sounds abusive and They might be able to help you with it.


SpecialpOps t1_j613jrk wrote

This is a really crappy situation. Do you have any trusted adults at your school or in your family you can talk to you about this?

The school might be able to help out as this sounds abusive and they might be able to help you with it.

I’m sure you’re feeling a lot of anxiety about this but things will get better. Especially if you seek help of a trusted adult who is close to you.


Qlder81 t1_j60nuwb wrote

If your parents dont care, why should you?


kdavis37 t1_j61aeej wrote

I certainly don't want to be shitty just because family is.


DragonfruitOk6901 t1_j60oaun wrote

Then you kinda lose all justification for complaining. If you're complacent with their behavior, this is going to happen.


seasamgo t1_j610taj wrote

Totally. A 16 year old is responsible for the actions of their grownass parents and should know better. /s



Aminar14 t1_j60l5wx wrote

That sucks. Your grandfather loved you though. Keep those memories and hold them close. They matter more than the Silver. Even the individual pieces. Think of him every time you hear a coin clink.

As to your parents, I think they've made their priorities clear.


Hygro t1_j60n59b wrote

It's a hard lesson to realize your parents are happy to hurt to you over fast food and cigarettes. This will not be the last time they convincingly ask you to help them hurt you. It is unfortunate, but you are going to have to figure out your life and set your boundaries on your own, without a clear example. I wish you luck. I believe in you.


MonarchFluidSystems t1_j60u1kz wrote

I had a coin collection that I had been working on ever since I was a kid. Always old American coins. It was one of my most prized things. I had coins given to me from both sets of grandparents. It really mattered to me — it was one of the few heirlooms I had that I hoped to pass on to someone some day.

A family member who was an addict stole it and pawned the entire thing. All of that history gone. I felt and still feel sour about it — I can’t deny that, so I try to honor that emotion when I feel it, acknowledge it, then ask what’s the next thing.

For me, that was understanding the joy of collecting, of finding a rare coin in pocket change, and admiring the history in my hand — who else had held this coin before me? At one time, it wasn’t old or rare and just common currency — maybe someone else paid for their rent or bought something neat they’ve been wanting. All sorts of unknowns. And that brought the joy back to rebuilding it. It’s not lost, the sentiment it represents is still there.

If you’re grandpa could talk to you now, they would probably tell you that the collection had zero importance to him entirely — it was just a thing he could share and connect with his grandson over, and that was the priceless part of it.

Honor that and go grab a silver dollar at a local shop if you can.


[deleted] OP t1_j60uf85 wrote



MonarchFluidSystems t1_j60vspf wrote

It’s no big deal. All a part of the life experience.

If you’re in the states, PM me your address and I’ll send you a Buffalo nickel and a Indian head wheat penny i still have from my grandpa. I had a couple booklets of those separated from the larger collection. I’d love to add to yours and get your momentum going again on the collection. They’re fairly worthless and would cost nothing to ship so it’s no effort on my end.


cosmernaut420 t1_j60srry wrote

You're born to blood, nobody picks blood. You do choose your own family though, I firmly believe that. Those assholes calling themselves your parents may be blood, but family doesn't do each other like that.

I hope you get out soon, good luck OP.


codex_simplex t1_j60rib6 wrote

Ok, reddit. Let's rescue judedadudes silver. Who's in? Two life lessons here. Parents are sometimes terrible people, and strangers can be wonderfully kind.


[deleted] OP t1_j60sg3q wrote



Flipping4cash t1_j60wkbj wrote

If you have any money at all. Go to the pawn shop and ask to put them on lay away. Most pawn shops do this. Put whatever you have down on it and you will be given a certain amount of time to pay it off. I hope they can do this for you and give you a chance to buy then back.

Please don't trust your parents eith anything of yours again. If you get the silver back out don't even tell them you have it. Hide it somewhere very safe where they wouldn't look until you move out.


Sastifur t1_j617lb3 wrote

I would recommend even finding a place that isn't your house to hide them if possible.

Your parents asked you first and you agreed to help them. You don't know if they would've taken your and your grandfather's coins had you told them no.


mmrrbbee t1_j60pd9b wrote

Write them off as soon as you can and get life lock because they will most likely use your social security to get credit cards and loans in your name. Never ever tell them about your money or possessions or they will take it too.


vinnyboyescher t1_j60viua wrote

You can always call the police but that may lead nowhere and would likely nuke your relationship with your parents


harlojones t1_j623ae8 wrote

Absolutely would nuke the relationship of parents who act this way. Not necessarily a bad thing if you’re on your own, but as a dependant you’re could end up in a worse situation. (e.g. bad foster care) it’s a risk with a totally unknown outcome unfortunately.


thisisdrivingmebatty t1_j60ttly wrote

How much are they charging for the silver u/Judedadude998? Your first step is to have the pawn shop owner set them aside, second step is to put down a deposit so they know you're serious (get a written receipt for proof of this). I'm willing to contribute for the deposit so you can get your precious memories back. Once you turn 18, cut them out and never look back. They see you as nothing more than a paycheck.

Also I highly recommend considering reporting the coins as stolen to the police. They may or may not be able to help you recover the coins, but having the paper trail will help you when you go to leave and they try to keep you under their thumb. You gave them the coins under the assumption you would get them back; them not doing so makes this theft.


Colton_Omega t1_j60x8ds wrote

The difficult part is you are 16. If it means that much to you and your parents are being completely disregarding of your feelings and the mistake they made maybe report them as stolen if they police say you can (it’s dishonest, but they were too) or see if you have a civil case against your parents at the very least. I would urge you to never give your parents a cent of anything again until you are either 18 or move out.


iamanerdybastard t1_j60ym6r wrote

As soon as you’re capable, leave and never come back. You don’t owe these people anything just because they fucked you into existence. There are better people out there you can call family.


Boxofcookies1001 t1_j61073i wrote

It sucks that you have shitty parents but consider this a lesson on relationships with individuals with poor money management.

I'm sure this won't be the first time or the last time your parents will try to take advantage of you and your things to make up for their poor ability to manage money.

I'd encourage you to call the credit bureaus (if in America) and put a freeze/block on opening new loans.

And remember that if someone is asking you to co-sign/pawn stuff/ open a joint account/ take financial responsibility for them, ask yourself what poor money decision has lead to them getting into this situation in the first place and are you willing to accept the consequences when things don't go as planned.

Source (I have parents with a low ability to be financially responsible).


Dassiell t1_j614p95 wrote

id trade their shit for the coins at the pawn shop


herrbdog t1_j611jmw wrote

start an account they don't know about and put everything you can in so on your 18th birthday, got can give yourself a present and gtfo


CapeCodcultuvation t1_j615eu7 wrote

Damn you gotta get out of that toxic house when you are of age and use this kind of stuff as fuel to be a better person than them.


FindorKotor93 t1_j61ayki wrote

And as a lesson to see the warning signs of an abuser. Won't catch them all, but every bite they take outta you is one more you can see coming.


oh--its-jacquie t1_j615vg9 wrote

My mother used to steal from us all the time when I was a kid. Any money that we earned, or something she could sell, she'd take it. It took me a long time to learn that just because you are related to someone, that doesn't mean that they are your family.


Round_Rooms t1_j61ae9w wrote

How much silver , what pawn shop and how much did they get for it?


[deleted] OP t1_j61bc0t wrote



Round_Rooms t1_j61ctzx wrote

That's around 40 ounces, but since it's a pawn shop I'm guessing they lowballed 60-90 ounces , that's pretty terrible. Get what you can back and start your own collection in his memory.


acerbic_flare t1_j61atmk wrote

If you ever make money while living with them underage, make sure you get a proper bank account! If you have other family that is trustworthy, a grandparent, aunt/uncle, older sibling or older cousin, have them be the custodian of the account if the bank requires one. And talk to the banker about what your options are to protect yourself from your SSN being used by your parents. Your credit could be ruined before you're able to establish it yourself. (It happened to a cousin of mine because his mom was awful.) This is an awful thing to have happen after your grandfather's death. I hope that you're able to keep his memory with you in your heart. 💛 Just make sure that you protect yourself now that you know your parents' true colors.


Tr1pline t1_j60m7ks wrote

Can you get a job and buy the items back from the pawn shop?


[deleted] OP t1_j60mebn wrote



Tr1pline t1_j60n71a wrote

Ask the pawn shop to hold on to them for you. With that story, I think they will be ok with doing that for a bit. If you're 16 so want it bad enough, you can work at a fast-food place. A week and you can net 400$.


[deleted] OP t1_j60ng25 wrote



Trouble_in_Mind t1_j60oon1 wrote

Jesus OP, I'm so sorry dude. Sounds like you're just a paycheck to your parents. :/

That, on top of selling your childhood memories, is just so scummy.


Tuga_Lissabon t1_j60t0sh wrote

OP, get out, get a job and remember this when they come to you for money.


heavywether t1_j60t6ba wrote

Sounds like it's time to break some fingers


FiliaMortis t1_j60vh3z wrote

From one fellow autism-haver to another, I’m so sorry that your parents don’t treat you as they should.

And yea, the sentimental value with the silver is what hurts the most, but the most important part will always be with you. The memories you shared with your grandfather.

There’s a lot of neurodivergent people who grew up in similar situations, who managed to thrive in spite of it all. So don’t give up hope, you will come out of this stronger, and if you ever become a parent, you will be a much better one than your parents are.


ghostxstory t1_j614x29 wrote

Damn, I’m sorry your parents did that to you. I don’t have any advice to offer ya though


bros402 t1_j617pjx wrote

Maybe go back there and see if you can buy a few of the coins?


Apollyom t1_j61bm1b wrote

This is why the saying, The blood of the covenant, is thicker than the water of the womb. Don't let people who are merely family drain you, find your group.


Affectionate_Bat6655 t1_j61cvow wrote

I would go to the police and talk to them because you will have no other way of finding out if you can charge them or not without talking to them. I hope you can, and that you can get what is left of your collection back and compensation for what has been lost. And I truly hope your parents get the book thrown at them for what they have done. They are despicable people and I am so sorry that you have to deal with them.