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Comments
parksandrecpup t1_j63akk4 wrote
No probably about it. Who the fuck let’s their parents do that? At the very least sneak your twin a piece of cake on either your “birthday” or the actual day. Sounds like the twin is pretty shitty too. As for the parents, I hope their golden daughter enjoys taking care of them when they are older. I don’t usually go straight for cut them off when you’re gone (I have a complicated relationship with my parents, and I get things aren’t always black and white) but in this case, it’s only 3 years hun and then you can go off to school and meet new people who love you for you. I’m so sorry OP.
pmmeyourphotography t1_j63dzah wrote
Her twin sucks. I feel so bad for op.
Vivistolethecheese t1_j63mjdy wrote
Her sister didn't do anything, this is the parent's fault.
blackscales18 t1_j63nffi wrote
Not doing anything is the problem
Vivistolethecheese t1_j63o5mo wrote
She's also a child, what do you want her to do?
lostmonkey70 t1_j63p472 wrote
Be supportive in some way? Maybe tell her parents it's fucked up that she got a real birthday party and her literal twin sister got nothing but insults for her birthday?
blackscales18 t1_j63tood wrote
Show some level of empathy or compassion to her sister instead of being complicit in it. 15 is a little old to not know something's fucked up
Vivistolethecheese t1_j659wvt wrote
OP never said she didn't, even hoped she'd see this. Y'all are asking for a kid to stand up to her verbally abusive parents, and yet also thinking one shouldn't. Neither should.
parksandrecpup t1_j65xnnw wrote
Again, I grew up in a not only verbally but physically abusive house. There’s no way I would have let my sister get literally nothing on her birthday while I had a huge party and a cake. I also would have made damn sure to apologize to her and wish her a happy birthday. Her entire family not bothering to wish her a happy birthday is really fucked up, and a 15 year old is old enough to say “happy birthday” to her twin. And if you re-read it, she clearly says she’s not close with her twin and hopes she reads it, as in hopes her twin can maybe bother to recognize that what’s she’s doing is wrong.
inhaledpie4 t1_j64vjsn wrote
I am a twin and I sometimes tried to help her when I thought our parents were being unjust for whatever reason
Binx_da_gay_cat t1_j656tgh wrote
And r/narcissisticparents too
hopefulme108 t1_j62jqxt wrote
I am so so sorry to hear this, your family are emotionally abusing you, you are not wrong to feel devastated..My wish for you is that as soon as you can you can leave these people and carve out of a wonderful life for yourself, get therapy to heal this abuse and be happy. You are not wrong or bad, they are.Do you have other family you can talk to about their behaviour? You deserve support and love
[deleted] OP t1_j62jv4l wrote
I don’t really, I plan on telling my counselor though
hopefulme108 t1_j62k68d wrote
I'm glad you have a counsellor, I hope they're validating your worth and telling you none of this is your fault. I really wish you well and hope life gets easier and happier for you
ACoconutInLondon t1_j63a3ra wrote
You deserve better.
Work with your counselor on what you need to do to be in a position to get out, build a life for yourself and get away from these people.
sanityfordummy t1_j63yzmp wrote
This is so important. Do everything you can to take advantage of counseling and therapy that's available to you. We have an amazing ability to cope with things, and let awful comments roll off our backs in our younger years.
It all tends to manifest later on. It might be anxiety. It might be addictive tendencies or full on substance abuse. There are a variety of deregulating behaviors that could come to be, and future you will benefit in ways you can't imagine by learning how to manage your family's mistreatment and abuse now.
EnzieWithSomeNumbers t1_j63e7ox wrote
talk to them about how serious it is...you might be better off putting yourself into foster care with the help of your counselor
Apprehensive_Tour835 t1_j62gnue wrote
Jesus Christ I’m so sorry
thrownaway1974 t1_j62mppk wrote
You didn't fuck up. Your family are horrible.
I have kids your age and I am absolutely horrified by how you have been treated. You do not deserve it in any way. Please try to keep believing that.
[deleted] OP t1_j62pk5n wrote
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[deleted] OP t1_j62ptwc wrote
❤️❤️❤️
rythmicbread t1_j649mm1 wrote
You didn’t need to post here because you didn’t do anything wrong. Heres to wishing you a happy birthday. The best revenge is living an amazing life
ifubigtime t1_j62imyw wrote
Oh hun, happy birthday. Please imagine that everyone on this sub is singing it to you and celebrating you. This is not a TYFU OP, you did nothing wrong. Your parents suck, not you. We’d all send you a cake and presents if we knew where to send them. Since we don’t (and you should not give out your address to random internet strangers anyway), please vividly imagine walking into the party that thousands of redditors would attend if we could.
[deleted] OP t1_j62iwjx wrote
😭❤️
TahoeMoon t1_j633w32 wrote
If you make an Amazon wish list we can buy you the stuff you wanted and deserved. Be sure to make your address private and the items can be shipped to you without giving away your address to internet strangers.
Btw: your family sucks and I wish you'll know that your self-worth should never be measured by their behavior and their attitude towards you.
ESCognition t1_j6390dh wrote
Seriously, I'm a broke as heck uni student and I want to buy this girl her damn hair clips! It's one thing if they don't have money to buy her present, but when it's literally because they spent too much on her sibling, and openly say as much? Plus, as pointed out, they're not expensive.
And the fat-shaming?? Far out. No wonder she has issues with eating and depression. They might think they're helping (in some twisted way), but they're doing the exact opposite. I've dealt with an eating disorder, and that's the kind of thing that would have sent me spiralling right back into it. I'm so angry and sad after reading this. I'm so sorry OP, you have every damn right to be upset. Even if you didn't, they saw you, their CHILD crying because of their awful behaviour, and shamed you for it... that ain't right
[deleted] OP t1_j63umdg wrote
I don’t know how to do that and I’d feel guilty cause I don’t feel like I deserve it
Hksbdb t1_j641wxd wrote
You are worthy of it
marz_shadow t1_j646anb wrote
Go on Amazon and just look around and instead of adding it to your cart you can create a wish list that’s public then once your done with that. Use the share button copy the link and paste it here! Would love to get your a birthday present. Sorry your family sucks. A lot of people say family over friends but the people you meet over your lifetime who care about you are just as much family as blood.
[deleted] OP t1_j666tcv wrote
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donutmuntcher t1_j65vz89 wrote
Bro that’s what they want you to feel, you do deserve so much better. This is incredibly sad and disheartening, I hope that someday the people that will be in your life appreciate you.
applicable_elixir t1_j660mki wrote
Let us know if you do, I'd love to get you something as well! Happy Birthday, kiddo! 🥰
[deleted] OP t1_j666qnb wrote
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darkywitch t1_j65ik4q wrote
im crying because of how sweet this is.
Grey___Goo_MH t1_j63g1ty wrote
Save every penny you can
Get a job as soon as you can
Start planning to move on when you hit 18
Control your own money and don’t let your parents touch a penny
Comforting words are pointless plan ahead
throwingwater14 t1_j64kqd3 wrote
To this point, make sure you have a bank account on your own. Not attached to your parents. Most places (in America at least) will let a minor create their own bank account around age 16. It’s better if you do it at a bank that your parents aren’t at. Aka a completely different brand. Gather your important documents and make sure they’re accessible. Birth certificates and ssn cards can be replaced fairly simply with a fee through the web or a visit to the appropriate offices. When you’re able to get out, do it as one fell swoop as much as possible. Distinct possibility that when they realize you’re leaving and intend to cut them out of your life, they’ll try to beat you to the punch to hurt you for not conforming to their control anymore.
pogiguy2020 t1_j62hgbv wrote
I hate even saying this, but they are not really your family. family does not do that to each other.
I dont have the magic answer, but try to learn to love yourself and not to need your family for anything but the basics of life.
I am so sorry you have to live like this.
[deleted] OP t1_j62hqqh wrote
Thank you
Vreiya t1_j6385ax wrote
Happy birthday OP!!! If you ever need a gentle support, please visit r/MomForAMinute 🤗
Feisty_Text6309 t1_j62gg8z wrote
This is so heartbreaking. Come on Reddit let’s pitch in to buy this girl a birthday cake
head__level t1_j643a3i wrote
Let's do it !
CandenzaMoon t1_j643xa4 wrote
And hair clips!!!
potatofairy42 t1_j62q91u wrote
This is awful I’m so sorry. You deserve so much more than this. Sending you best wishes for your birthday. Fuck your family, have all the cake!
parksandrecpup t1_j63b6sq wrote
I hope for your sake this isn’t true, but I grew up in a house that’s similar so I get it. From 12-17 I didn’t get a “happy birthday.” At 17 I moved out to school. It was the best thing I ever did, I found new people who loved me and more importantly I figured out how to love me. You’ve got three years left hun, just concentrate on school, get the loans if you have to, and go. Or, if you want trade school do that instead, but again, you’ve only got three more years hun, and then you’re out, and you can buy all the damn cake you deserve.
Happy Birthday OP
wasabi45 t1_j62mxel wrote
Happy Birthday. You deserve much better. Be strong ❤️
[deleted] OP t1_j62n2te wrote
Thank you 😭❤️
emmpmc t1_j63o51o wrote
r/momforaminute
Please, please PLEASE check out this subreddit!! It’s just filled with supportive moms who will help you through anything. You can talk about your accomplishments, rant, cry, do whatever with these moms and they’ll treat you with so much love and respect.
r/momforaminute
Xezzie15X t1_j62u3f0 wrote
Happy birthday!! If you ever need to talk my dm's are open❤
TheQuietGrrrl t1_j63dpc0 wrote
One day your family is s going to wonder why you don’t talk to them anymore, and you’re going to be so free and happy.
Cortina_Mk_3 t1_j62xpu0 wrote
You're not the one who fucked up G, it was your fucking family! If your sister was at least a half decent she would've stuck up for you and if your parents had even the slightest resemblance of decency in them, they'd have allowed you to enjoy your birthday the way you want!
I hope that you can make your way in life without relying on your family, they don't deserve you and you're gonna surpass everyone, even your 'golden child' sister, use things like this to power and motivate you, show them up, make them feel shitty for not being better and do incredible!
Best of luck and remember, you are worth it, your family isn't!
JazzVacuum t1_j6351ab wrote
30 gifts?? This sounds like it could be an alternate universe to Harry Potter. I'm so sorry kid, that's awful and I'm so proud of you for the progress you've made but remember skinny does not always equal healthy. Don't let them shame you into hurting yourself beautiful. I hope much better days are in your future.
ItsJmac95 t1_j62vpk1 wrote
Wow. I know which thread I'm in but I'm still gonna say it.
NTA. Your family are fucked up for treating you like this
daveescaped t1_j63yppw wrote
I’m a Dad of four boys and can tell you I truly don’t have a favorite. They are each so unique. They each have great traits and qualities.
You are being treated awfully. I don’t know what else to say. If it were me, I’d never be able to forgive my parents for how they are treating. Ever. It would also be hard to forgive your sister because she could be setting your parents straight and being a friend to you and she is not.
On the positive side, you are going to be tough as hell when you get older. Tough times make some pretty strong people. Your success in life will be your revenge. Work hard in school. When you turn 18, get out and don’t look back. Go kill it. Make your awesome life your revenge.
If you need mentors, reach out to people. Ask how they got to where they are. Learn how from them and make a great life. That will make you feel that at least the adult half of life worked out well.
You got this.
nahnabanahna_ t1_j63ckht wrote
Happy late birthday, kiddo!! You deserve all the cake in the world! You are a wonderful human being despite what any of your family tells you and fifteen years of you on this Earth is worth a huge celebration.
I’m so, so sorry your family failed you like this. You don’t deserve any of this crap they’re putting you through—you deserve love and hugs and all sorts of lovely things. You’re so strong for still being here. I’m so proud of you. Remember, the best part of being an adult is that you can buy whatever kind of cake you want for your birthday, so make sure you stick around until then, okay? You’ve got this! My messages are open if you ever need to vent. Again, happy birthday hon. You’re amazing ☺️❤️
Verbenaplant t1_j63czxn wrote
I can’t believe they called you selfish for wanting a birthday. You are a child. They have a duty of care to treat you both equally so the family is balanced.
unplannedspeedballs t1_j6356uv wrote
Happy birthday.
My childhood was like this.
I left at 16 and never looked back
SilentWolfCZ t1_j62u4on wrote
That's terrible. I can't even imagine. I wish you all the best! I hope you are strong enough to take is as way to be better person than all of them. Don't let them drag you down. But jeez.. 15 years.. :/ that must be harsh.
SpecialpOps t1_j63cjz3 wrote
Is absolutely horrible. Your Parents are terrible people and your sister is too for not sticking up for you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!🎂🎉
nonrebreather t1_j62ybt0 wrote
First off, happy birthday! You're going to have many more, and some of the most special ones will be spent with people who aren't your family.
There's nothing that justifies their behaviour, and it's not your fault for expecting the minimum you'd do in their place. I hope you know that every normal person can tell how wrong what they did was. You do deserve better, and some day you will have better.
You're allowed to feel bad about this, but please don't feel like this has anything to do with who you are.
It sounds like you've been doing really well for yourself. Be proud of that, recognize your accomplishments, and keep doing well for yourself. <3
nick_shannon t1_j633oht wrote
3 more years and at 18 you can walk away from these abusive shit heads.
Hang in there OP.
emzyyyyy t1_j6345k9 wrote
I'm so sorry, they are emotionally abusive and treating you horribly! It's totally unacceptable. This is 100% their f*ck up and not yours. You are worthy of love, care and an awesome birthday.
Some practical solutions: Do you have any friends whose parents you can talk to about all this (not just this incident, buy in general how they treat you)? Can you stay at a friend's house for a while? Can you talk to any relatives or teachers whom you trust? You might even want to consider getting in touch with social services.
I'd also recommend getting a part-time job if you can, and each pay check is one step closer to freedom!
Also, happy birthday! If I knew you irl I'd give you cake, presents and a big hug❤️ you deserve all the best. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Stay strong, and know that reddit has your back!
badassbiotch t1_j633gu1 wrote
I know what you’re going through isn’t easy but remind yourself every day that you are strong and beautiful! Don’t let them get into your head, you’re a amazing individual who deserves wonderful people surrounding you.
Happy birthday 🥳 🎂
Poinsettia917 t1_j62ir6y wrote
Again and again, Reddit makes me so glad I never had a sister.
[deleted] OP t1_j62ivqd wrote
Make sure your parents never curse you 😭❤️
Poinsettia917 t1_j62mz1i wrote
I’m old now. No chance of that!
Icy-Equivalent666 t1_j62p3q0 wrote
100% you are better for it. My family is like this with me. Excuses after excuses. This Christmas I wasn't supposed to attend the party, I didn't know I wasn't as I have always done so... they canceled it when they found out as they wanted a"small" party that included my other sisters family. Found out they still had it but at a different house, they have left me out of smaller holiday's like Easter. I did nothing wrong at all, I barely have even talked with anyone as I have a very serious and painful new autoimmune disorder. They gaslit me like mad, " we love you and your family equally, didn't we give you a gift for your birthday ". They where never apart or my kids lives growing up but they where my 2 sisters kids... this isn't the first time left out, but it is the last. I am NC 100%, even though I was low for years and they didn't notice.
[deleted] OP t1_j62yfhy wrote
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Adventurous_Tie_3057 t1_j630q31 wrote
I don't know whether that's a fair assessment. I know plenty of women who are close with their sisters. Just because it's on reddit, doesn't mean it's representative of all society.
Roq456 t1_j62zcu8 wrote
Wow, Just wow, your familie sucks. I guess you should prepare to leave them as soon as you can in a few years and then never look back. You deserve better people around you, and I am sure those will cross your path later on.
Fuck these people that pretend to be your family, please stand upright and never drop the faith in yourself, you are so much more beautiful then them. You will survive, you will become everything they are not, your real life will start once you drop these people, you WILL thrive and you WILL blossom, never loose track of yourself. You are beautiful.
plasmicthoughts t1_j635aiv wrote
Happy birthday, honey! Your family is toxic to you and they are unbelievably biased. It is SO totally not your fault. And you are right in expecting them to love you. But maybe it's time to also realize they won't live up to what they should be. Chin up, try not to let what they say get to you. Take all the professional help you need, and try to make friends who support you. You don't need many, even one can make a world of difference. When you doubt life, remember, you braved all these years because there's still fight left in you. Keep going. There are so many good things that you have to yet do and see. Happy birthday again, and hugs!
Fluffy-Eyeball t1_j63crng wrote
Happy birthday OP. Even though in reality it wasn’t, I hope these Birthday wishes from internet strangers make you feel at least a little loved by all of us. I’m sorry you’re being treated like that by your family of all people.
Don’t allow yourself to feel fat shamed, please. It’s your own opinion that matters. If you want to change, then safely do so, if you don’t then all is well, no one else’s opinion matters in reality. I guarantee you most others won’t think the same as your family too.
I promise you things will get better. As soon as you’re old enough, leave their horrible company and make yourself happy with people who love you in person and treat you well, and find what makes you happy and do it.
Wishing you many more happier birthdays for the future OP, things will get better.
YeYa_3 t1_j63e8qt wrote
I am so sorry you are going through this, you did NOTHING wrong, it’s them being evil and projecting their insecurities on you. From the bottom of my heart HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you ❤️❤️ We may not know each other but I truly wish you the best, and you know what the best revenge is? Showing people who wronged you that you are better off without them and don’t need their help or pity. Carve your best life and cut off your “family” as soon as you can, you will feel so much better without their toxicity. And trust me, you will find your people who will truly love and support you for who you are. Until then, stay strong and take care <3
EmmaDrake t1_j63z0di wrote
Happy belated birthday!
[deleted] OP t1_j6409tn wrote
❤️
Moonshadetsuki t1_j635fq0 wrote
Happy birthday! My family was not the nicest when I was growing up too, and it kinda made birthdays suck for me well after I was living on my own. But please don't let them shape your view of your birthdays, present and future alike, go do something you enjoy <3
P41N4U t1_j63cug3 wrote
You have a terrible family, dont know if you have someone sticking for you, hope you have.
You parents are terrible, keep going, you are doing great! Happy birthday!
Eisie t1_j63kcvf wrote
This is horrible! set up a gofundme or something and Ill pitch you 20 bucks for hair clips. I GOT U.
[deleted] OP t1_j65k5qb wrote
Are you sure!😭 you don’t have to
stejward t1_j63qubl wrote
Not only do you deserve a cake, you deserve a new family. This is fucked.
pwalkz t1_j63tbyr wrote
Sorry your parents hate you
SpecialpOps t1_j645gsi wrote
p.s.: Post a birthday wishlist of fun things from amazon and let reddit flood your front porch with goodwill.
Nitroghast t1_j62p7mf wrote
I'm so sorry, family not always corresponds to love and help...
lorl3ss t1_j636mjy wrote
Fucking hell, Happy birthday. Families can be assholes sometimes.
Eldhannas t1_j63b9za wrote
What kind of horrendous parents do this? I can maybe accept that two people born on the same day may want to separate their celebrations, but having the celebration of one of twins two entire weeks before the other is quite simply hard to understand. It's like they go out of their way to put a wedge in your relationship, like they don't want you to see each other as the closest siblings possible. Not to mention the extreme difference in how you're treated. What does your grandparents think of this, do they know?
Your parents will live to regret this, when you leave them in the dust behind you.
CitizenLuke117 t1_j63c5ng wrote
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEAUTIFUL!!!!
You didn't fuck up. Your family is fucking up. Sorry.
As an adult I learned that I need to take care of myself on my birthdays. Nobody is going to do it for me. I get my own cake, my own gift, and do what I want to do.
If someone I love surprises me with a cake or a meal or a gift then it feels amazing and I show them my gratitude. But I've learned not to expect it.
It's not fair that you have to do this at 15. But apparently you do because your family has growing up to do.
You are fine, OP. You're not the crazy one here. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. And learn to love and eventually forgive them. Take your time with that but the sooner you release your anger at them the sooner you free yourself from it and are able to move on and live your own life and your own story.
Stay strong. Stay loving. You are worth it.
arrow2theknee82 t1_j63hcvh wrote
I'm so sorry, OP. I hope one of them reads this, and reads that THEY ARE ABHORRENT EXCUSES FOR PEOPLE, AND SHOULD BE ASHAMED.
Life will get better, starting when you leave home and start a life for yourself.
JustWantedAUsername t1_j63wd73 wrote
Just putting it out there, I cried a lot during my birthdays. My parent would consistently find ways to make me unhappy. I also had a huge issue with body positivity because I was overweight and my parent would also regularly limit how much I was allowed to eat and freak out when I had sugar saying I would get diabetes. I didn't start feeling good about who I was as a person until I moved out, stopped weighing myself, and decided that parents advice was unwelcome. You are beautiful and a few extra pounds doesn't change that. I read in an earlier comment that you weren't going to speak with your counselor about it, while I won't tell you to talk to them specifically I highly suggest getting all this off your chest to SOMEONE.
[deleted] OP t1_j63yer4 wrote
I’m gonna tell my counselor on Monday. (We don’t have school today)
Sentsuizan t1_j637hkw wrote
Fucking hell, what a horrible thing to say to your own family. Happy birthday OP
Verbenaplant t1_j63cuen wrote
your a twin. And still a child. You should be treated fairly. Do you have any other family you can talk to about this. Cake is for sharing. Also doesn’t your sister see this as weird?
Verbenaplant t1_j63d5z7 wrote
There is nothing wrong with you. Having extra weight on you doesn’t make you less worthy of basic respect and love. Work hard at school, get a great job and have a great life. I’m sure your parents will want you to help them when they are old and you can tell them to just ask the fav child lol
RonamusMaximus t1_j647yzx wrote
Wrong sub. Today, you did not fuck up.
Today, you unfortunately learned to grow up too fast. Because today, you realized your parents fucked up a long time ago. To paraphrase my father, we learn from both good and bad people, good people teach us how to replicate good, and bad people teach us how not to be bad people.
Happy Birthday, kid. Thank you for making this old man get all teary eyed at work.
Atrionix t1_j64ex3j wrote
This is emotional abuse. Get someone to talk to (counselor, therapist etc.) and do whatever feels good for YOU. If they don't accept you for you, then that's their problem.
Also, totally forgot, so editing this just to say: HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAY! <3
Noodlepotdreams t1_j63blb2 wrote
Happy belated birthday <3 your family sucks. I‘m so sorry for you. I would go zero contact once you move out. You don’t need such negativity in your life. That’s awful.
ohonagang t1_j63bx93 wrote
Happy birthday day lovely you deserve the world and one day you will have those around you who will give it to you sending best wishes ❤️
ashrocklynn t1_j63gy8z wrote
There's gotta be something beyond the details on the post, but dear me, that is an awful way to treat a child. They sound like petty awful people, and it was kind of you to create the tifu post on their behest; Cause they done fuuuuuhhhhcked up bad
Chevey0 t1_j63oit2 wrote
This is awful. Your family are awful! Another commenter said set up an Amazon wish list. How can we make your birthday special?
[deleted] OP t1_j63pp06 wrote
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geven87 t1_j642pw2 wrote
" Since my Olenna is younger her birthday was two weeks before mine. "
Doesn't being younger mean she was born after you? Shouldn't her birthday come after yours?
Azurephoenix99 t1_j64vnog wrote
Holy shit your family is evil, straight up evil.
[deleted] OP t1_j62qr1t wrote
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elizabethjanet t1_j63ek21 wrote
You didn’t F up, they did. They are treating you poorly and you need an ally or advocate. Please start looking for one, either in your family or at school.
cynthea12 t1_j63eqg0 wrote
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Coming from someone whose family sucked when I was growing up, I'm so sorry.
Raichu7 t1_j63fpjp wrote
That is emotional abuse and I’m sorry your family are treating you that way, it’s not OK. Can you speak to the school councillor about this? Especially if they’ve helped you before.
Return2S3NDER t1_j63hu29 wrote
Happy Birthday, I hope the rest are far better than this one.
McShoobydoobydoo t1_j63i6xj wrote
Happy Birthday! sorry your family are utter shits though 😒
I hope you're counting down the days till you can leave them behind 👍
[deleted] OP t1_j63llgp wrote
That's really rough, if you can, try to surround yourself with good caring people who value you and remember that what your family says has more to do with their own flaws. Be your own best friend and try not to internalise what they say. Instead say internally 'oh it's interesting you say that and that's your opinion' you don't have to take ownership of their thoughts if they are negative towards you.
VicarLos t1_j63msil wrote
Your family are terrible people. You didn’t FU, they are just TA.
Happy Birthday and may your future ones (especially after you are able to move away from them) all be better.
MrFavorable t1_j63n9n2 wrote
Dear lord this is absolutely awful. I want to tell you that you in no way fucked up. It is your parents that are fucking up and failing you. You said that you’re 15 and I want you to realize that 18 will get here much quicker than you think it will. I think you should start planning how you’re going to leave your parents behind and I believe you should consider going low contact or no contact once you leave for college, move out to be on your own. I don’t know if you have a support group such as grandparents or a friend whose family you consider like a second family. But i believe you should reach out to someone if you do have that support. Your parents are extremely toxic towards you and the fact they dump all of this money on your sister but cannot spend $20 on you for hair clips is outrageous. Stay strong u/Birthdaycake32 you can make it!
Swedenesebishhh69 t1_j63r702 wrote
i can't even imagine doing this to my twins. im sorry you have to feel this way.
[deleted] OP t1_j63rgjx wrote
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imJaggy t1_j63rnu9 wrote
I wish you a happy birthday and hope the best will happen to you, you deserve to be loved. ❤️
Golluk t1_j63s4pw wrote
Just adding congrats on the weight loss. I held a near constant weight (slightly under weight) from late high school to my early 30's. Then I started working out of hotels, which meant eating from restaurants and fast food almost every meal. I put on nearly 40 pounds. It triggered snoring, sleep apnea, and I think heart burn in me, so I decided to lose weight for the first time in my life.
It was hard, with seemingly no progress for the first 2-3 weeks. And then only slowly dropping down. So it's very impressive to me that you've managed that while have issues that make it even tougher.
FlamingButterfly t1_j63si61 wrote
You did nothing wrong, it would definitely be good to talk to your counselor, these kinds of comments are never good to hear especially with what you have been through mental health wise. From what I can tell you are not a selfish person or a brat, your parents however are selfish and emotionally abusive.
In some ways I understand even though I was my mom's first I always played second fiddle to her life and when she finally had a daughter she put everything into her while claiming she was not able to afford the one gift I would ask her for on my birthday.
penderhippy t1_j63w81m wrote
hey you're beautiful
cabrerahector t1_j640k77 wrote
As many others have stated already, you're not in the wrong here. You must be going through a very hard time and I'm sorry for that. Hand in there, life does gets better. Talk to your counselor about this so you can get these feelings out of your chest and start to heal. And, no matter what, remember: always be kind to yourself. None of this is your fault. Here's a virtual hug for you, and happy birthday!
Sunshine-N-gumdrops t1_j641png wrote
Happy Birthday and screw your shitty family. Your sister is even worse for allowing it. Figure out what you want to do in the future and figure out how you will need to achieve it without your families help, cause you know you won’t get it. Loans, scholarships, job, car, etc. Don’t let them bring you down or distract you. Be cautious if they change their attitude when they see you doing what you need for you. You let your guard down and they could destroy what you built.
WailersOnTheMoon t1_j6428yq wrote
Your parents are terrible. I’m glad you can get some therapy. Nothing about this is normal or ok.
Grey_0ne t1_j644i59 wrote
Happy birthday.
Slammogram t1_j644ido wrote
I’m so angry for you, OP.
You are worthy OP! Don’t let these people get you down.
I promise you’re worthy.
I also have twins, they’re 5. A boy and a girl. I promise this isn’t normal, and it isn’t you. It’s them.
Could you safely talk to your sister about it?
Make an amazon wishlist!
[deleted] OP t1_j644wnd wrote
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Slammogram t1_j645cw1 wrote
You aren’t a selfish brat.
It isn’t selfish to expect the same treatment. And start arguing back with them. Tell them they are failures as parents. Call out their behavior with other family members.
luniiz01 t1_j645fow wrote
It is so unfortunate to read stories like this.
Just know that you did nothing wrong. Your parents are 100000% in the wrong. Parents should treat their children as equals or at least not have obvious favoritism nor be abusive.
My advice is continue with therapy and talk to them about how to improve your self esteem. You can’t change your parents behavior but you can learn to love you and to continue on; you do not need to keep them in your life once you are adult. You can create your own family. Find people who want to be in your life- who love you and care for you.
You need to advocate for yourself: Ask school counseling if you’re able to get college courses while in high school to try and get ahead of the game. If not, how soon can you start working and how to keep your money safe? You need to think of your future- uni? Community college? Work? Get as much resources you can to make an informed decision.
As for your sister: honestly she is a victim of your parents and I hope she recognizes how messed up this is. But you don’t have to convince her.
jataman96 t1_j645gb5 wrote
You're not the one who fucked up. You are not selfish for wanting a birthday. I wish I could send you all the hair clips you could ever want and more. This just breaks my heart.
Your parents are bad people. There's no way around it. The way they treat you is entirely abusive. And shame on your sister for not standing up for you.
Let us on reddit wish you a happy birthday 🎂 You deserve so much more than this. So if your family is too shitty to celebrate you, then we will celebrate you here.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎂 🥳 🎉 YOU MATTER AND ARE IMPORTANT 💗💗💗 Everyone who reads this is rooting for you!
teffaw t1_j645unv wrote
Wrong sub, or better yet, wrong person. You did not fuck up. Your family fucked up. I could never imagine showering one of my kids with affection and neglecting the other.
Poosley_ t1_j646x6i wrote
So, I don't wanna put in a whole life story, but for what it's worth, it really can get better. Your life, not your parents. Although with enough time, anything is possible. Both of my parents are bad people, and they made life incredibly difficult for me. Moving out was one of the best things I ever did. Got a job, some independence. It's easy to feel trapped right now but the quicker you can emotionally move on from being attached to their goodwill, the better. Think of it more as a necessary business association / transaction. You'll get out of this. Life on your own can be just as challenging but also rewarding and good, too. Unlike your current circumstances
LDS-- t1_j647fzx wrote
it’s my birthday today too!! happy birthday my love 💗
LittleRadishes t1_j64a2rv wrote
Fuck these people, you deserve so much better than these assholes. Who talks to their child that way? Who denies their child one cake for their birthday!? I'm so sorry op, you deserve better.
vreemdmeisje t1_j64bmm7 wrote
Happy birthday sweetheart. 15 is a wonderfull age! I am so sorry your parents are so evil. If you can buy a cake for yourself and share it with people who do see the real you. They do not get to ruin your day. Wish i could hug you. Believe in yourself, you sound like the best part of your family.
adrianroman94 t1_j64edah wrote
Happy birthday to youuuuu!!! You deserve all the happiness!
tigskillzpaybillz t1_j64euf3 wrote
Your family are awful human beings. Keep your head up. You deserve the cake of your dreams!
1CocteauTwin t1_j64f2j0 wrote
Happy Birthday lovely girl.
PLEASE always remember 1 thing, it WILL get better.
You are worthy and much stronger than you think.
Speak to your therapist, and all the lovely people on here, let it all out. Keep moving forward before you know it you will be away from these people who don't appreciate you.
Stay strong girl, you can do this ❤
Starkiller_303 t1_j64gcl6 wrote
You are enough. If these people don't love you, you will find people who do in life. It may just take a little time. Hang in there. You'll find yourself and your place in the world.
QueenMAb82 t1_j64hoar wrote
Oh honey, I am so sorry your family is treating you like this. This is small consolation from an internet stranger, but if you you don't have another place to go (moving in with a friend? Aunt? Grandparents?), and you have no choice but to stay at this residence (this isn't a home!), please keep in mind that your situation will not last forever: as soon as you can free yourself from your toxic family, do so, without guilt. They deserve no contact from you. You can fly without their weights pinning down your wings.
When I was little, I was friends with two twin girls - one was the "pretty, popular one" and the other was always an afterthought. I'm ashamed to say I was too young and dumb to notice it at the time, but my mom did, and was always furious at how disparate the girls were treated by their own parents.
You family has spent years showing you who they really are. All you can do now is believe them. I'm sorry. Hugs to you.
deedeemixx t1_j64j6g4 wrote
Happy Birthday, lovely. I'm sending you SO much love! You deserve more than this and -- no matter how your family treats you or what they say to you -- know that you are special and damn right you deserve that cake.
I'm not a parent -- but if I was, I could never imagine treating my child the way that yours have treated you. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to hop in my DM's ❤️ Just keep working on you, focus on the things that make you happy and keep growing - one day, you'll see just how special you are and how much better you can be without letting their words take you down. You deserve better.
anoncrazycat t1_j64kbv3 wrote
Happy Birthday, op. Sorry your parents are so cruel.
thescrounger t1_j64ko0i wrote
Your parents are pieces of shit
NotSoNiceO1 t1_j64n8qz wrote
Does your twin treat you like crap to? Fuck her if she is.
3MATX t1_j64oubv wrote
Happy birthday OP. Plenty of people find beauty in girls that are “above weight”. Also I know a few people who were “above weight” at your age and ended up the happiest people ever.
Don’t let them bring you down.
[deleted] OP t1_j64pxxh wrote
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Factory-Reset t1_j64s09c wrote
Happy Birthday, I don't have anything to add that has not been said but I can wish you a Happy Birthday.
BassplayerDad t1_j64ucfe wrote
Hey happy birthday
Sending you hugs, internet stranger.
Times will change, you do you & good luck
Book-bomber t1_j64ujti wrote
Happy birthday from a random stranger
evavu84 t1_j64z4p0 wrote
Awww babe, it's my birthday too. I've had an equally sucky one. Your family sounds horrible, I really hope you can just hunker down until you are old enough to leave and get your own place. Sending lots of love on your birthday 💓
lifescientist369 t1_j64zehw wrote
I know alot of people have already said the same but I cannot just not say this. I feel so bad for you and I’m truly sorry the universe gave you such a shitty family.
Please don’t let these people make you believe you’re not worth any less love than anybody else. You’re such a champion for enduring this and finding the courage to reach out too.
Gaurd your self esteem with everything you have and don’t let these people take it away from you. Have no doubts that what your family did to you was absolutely horrible and no human deserves to be treated this way. Please find the strength and hope to find new people who will love, respect and cherish you the way you deserve.
All of reddit loves you ❤️
[deleted] OP t1_j6509ar wrote
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Global_Monk_5778 t1_j6510lo wrote
Happy birthday sweetie. I’m a mum and I am sending you the biggest hug and virtual cake. You don’t need those selfish people - they aren’t your family. You will make friends who will become your family. Blood means nothing, I’m just sorry you’ve had to learn it so young.
As others have said, keep your important documents safe - birth certificate etc - and set up your own bank account in a separate bank as soon as you’re old enough. Start saving and get out as soon as you can. Cut them all off and don’t look back; you deserve so much better and your life will be better for it. You absolutely deserve gifts - set up that Amazon wish list!!!!! Tell your counsellor that you don’t feel like you deserve better, this is something he/she needs to work on with you. Because you need to learn and realise asap that you have done nothing wrong whatsoever and they are to blame here, not you. You deserve better, you are worth everything, and one day you will realise that. 💜🎂🍫🍦
Over-Marionberry-686 t1_j651bl7 wrote
I’m really sorry this happened to you. When you’re moved out (start planning now get all your documents and personal information on order) go no, low contact
pinekneedle t1_j653wyu wrote
Happy birthday!!!🎂🎉 If I could give you cake and hair clips I surely would because you deserve that love. Your parents are abusive.
Shazzam001 t1_j65455x wrote
One day you'll move out, you'll find your tribe, you'll find people who love you for who you are and you'll be able to buy your own goddamned hair clips.
You're going to do great things and your narcistic family will one day be something in your past.
Keep up with the therapy and working on yourself for the rest of your life so you can break the cycle of selfish idiots!
FuriouslyListening t1_j654w2s wrote
The phase everyone knows is blood is thicker than water. What most people don't know is that is neither the whole statement nor is that the intended meaning. The original statement was "Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb."
The short explanation is that the friends you make by choice, are closer and more important to you than merely being related to a person by accident of birth.
Fuck your bio family. Go outside and find your real family and stop worrying what those people you have to live with think about you.
RixirF t1_j656g1m wrote
You should probably talk to your sister, not just wait to see if she "scrolls through" here.
puddingegg3 t1_j658030 wrote
Happy birthday!!!! You deserve cake and more!!! Harder said than done but don't let those people determine your worth! ❤️
No-Stay8501 t1_j658df2 wrote
> Since my Olenna is younger her birthday was two weeks before mine
Wow, this doesn't make sense at all. Also nobody in your family seems to understand birthday cakes if they think it is just for one person. And your parents only put you in therapy because the school forced them???
Seriously, the only fuckups here are your parents. Do you have anyone else to support you, e.g. a grandparent or a close friend? It sucks to have family like yours, but you should know that you can build close relationships with other people and that you are under no obligation to keep in contact with your parents once you move away.
resilientboy t1_j65cmk5 wrote
How is this your fuck up? Don't doubt you got depression. With parents like that. But also be glad they don't chain you. Doesn't sound too far fetched.
thebarriogirl t1_j65e46a wrote
You didn’t fuck up, OP. While I hope that your family comes to a realization that all their children should be valued and loved, it won’t work out well for you to pin your worth on their opinions or actions. I am so excited for you to make new friends and find your people. Found family can be a wonderful. Belated happy birthday, OP.
HappyKlutz t1_j65ekf9 wrote
Happy Belated Birthday!! You sounds like an amazing, strong, level headed human. I’m so sorry that your family is treating you like this, it’s not fair and it’s so wrong.
As someone who has been there, I just want you to know it gets better. Once you are able to get out you’ll have the chance to surround yourself with people who prioritise you and care about you. They will be the “family” you choose. You will feel loved, and happy and fulfilled.
Wishing you all the best for future birthdays filled with cake, love and being spoilt rotten!
Haunted_Hitachi t1_j65fc9p wrote
I’m so sorry. I was bullied and fat shamed by family growing up and it stayed with me for decades. You are more than your weight or shape. One day you will look back on these moments and realize how wrong they were for acting like this.
kenxzero t1_j65i47k wrote
So sorry, hope your 16th is a sweeter one. Best wishes for you.
darkywitch t1_j65ie5k wrote
happy birthday, you are beautiful and deserve love.
onceagainsilent t1_j65ih9j wrote
If this is true fuck your whole family, and I mean that in the nicest way possible.
RandyButternubsYo t1_j65jc58 wrote
Holy shit. Your whole family is beyond fucked up. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hope that you finally get to live a life of freedom as soon as you’re 18 and make a new chosen family for yourself.
You’re important, you’re worthwhile and you deserve love. Just make it through the next few years, you can do it
Comtessa1 t1_j65jfmb wrote
I'm really sorry this happened to you, stay strong. You are already awesome for losing all that weight!! *Virtual hugs and cakes*
D_Mom t1_j65lo5w wrote
Please go to r/raisedbynarcissists to see that you are not alone and it is not your fault. When you need kind words and virtual hugs r/momforaminute is here for you. Sorry about your horrible family on your birthday.
LBellefleur t1_j65mw0m wrote
I'll be your new parent if you want a new one. Your family sucks. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Get your education and get some money saved and run away from this family and don't look back. I feel for you
cbunni666 t1_j65slpn wrote
That is so twisted. This is the kind of thing I would see in a psychological film. It's extra sad that the family got no clue that what they are doing is detrimental to your development. Or they are well aware and don't care.
Understand that you are beautiful and you do matter. Concentrate on you and your health. Stay humble and make the best of your life. Continue on working on your weight and keep you chin up as you walk. Walking with confident can be hard but it can be done. And Happy Birthday.
Deadaim156 t1_j63scef wrote
Hey sister scrolling through Reddit just wanted to say I think you are a complete loser piece of shit and I hope you realize what a horrible mistake you are making acting this way towards your sister and abusing her. You family are a bunch of loser assholes and you deserve so much better OP. If you have anyone else in the extended family to reach out to I would find a way to get out of there ASAP.
TO OP - HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU BEAUTIFUL GIRL!!!!!
zugtug t1_j63wzbz wrote
I know I sound like a dick but I'm reading this post and it's ticking off all the boxes to get a bunch of pity and offers of presents money and attention. I don't know how genuine I think this is.
Brand new account that she wants her sister to see but was created specifically for this so it isn't tied to any other posting.
TahoeMoon t1_j6h9dh9 wrote
Just to ease your worries: she never made an Amazon list, never took me up on my offer.
JustARandomOrange t1_j62mpib wrote
I'm so sorry about what happened to you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU WITH LOVE FROM THE REDDITORS WHO JUST READ THIS POST
Extra(s): angry grudge for your parent's (and probably your sister's) entitlement
you didn't do anything wrong here, your parents have bias issues. and this might be more fitting for me to say this.
You might need to talk about this issue in r/relationships
or even better yet, r/raisedbynarcissists because I think everyone seems to hate you/very much against you but let's hope whatever happens in the future will work out for you so happy birthday to you u/Birthdaycake32 happy wishes to you.
love. various redditors who just read this post.