Playing devil’s advocate, mdma certainly can open up doorways that otherwise wouldn’t be open in one’s mind, makes human connection of all types feel incredible, and loosens inhibitions. Speaking like a rational human being though, OP took a drug that he didn’t understand, took it in secret so his wife wouldn’t know, had horribly irresponsible sex, and now believes he’s the victim. OP is an immature, irresponsible, dishonest husband at best and a straight up cheater who thinks he is the victim in a situation where he could’ve made different choices and every turn.