There’s a handful of nuggets in there that really just makes me want to say “find a counselor and talk through this”. Narcissism is the word.

She isn’t your property, you aren’t so amazing she has to come crawling back to you, there’s no guarantee that this new partner will hurt her, and people can bond and fall in love without immediate physical attraction. Your head seems to be filled with fallacies.

My life experiences have taught me that you don't make ultimatums that you are not willing to accept the consequences of.

She chose them. Suck it up, buttercup. Move on.

You don’t have people figured out as much as you think you do. Otherwise you wouldn’t have been so blindsided by her choosing that guy over you. Besides, people have at least a little bit of pride to not come crawling back to their second option, unless that’s the method of thinking that you were projecting onto her

The better thing to say than “you choose me or them” is to say “let me know when you’ve got your situation figured out and we can talk, not sure where I’ll stand by then, but I shouldn’t stand in your way.”

Cuz that’s the truth. If someone is gonna wander, they are gonna do it regardless of what you do. You want a partner, a companion. Not a contractual obligation. Squeezing tighter just causes more damage.

Be thankful you found this out early.

It is your fault you are mad. You have expectations that someone else should be with you despite what they want. When your expectations aren't met, you shouldn't get angry. When you get angry you shouldn't expect anyone to sit there and validate you being angry with them. Its very childish to expect someone else to do what you want just because thats what you want, whether it's a relationship or otherwise

So, ultimately the situation is fair, it just doesn't feel good and for that I'm sorry and hope you find someone who actually lives close enough to see. Long distance or online relationships are always flimsy.