[deleted] OP t1_j653ijx wrote
Reply to comment by CharDeeMac567 in TIFU by inadvertently getting my boss fired, making life even worse and now maybe getting fired myself by [deleted]
[removed]
CharDeeMac567 t1_j6549hf wrote
Yeah, I would just recommend not beating yourself up too much about this since you didn't know -- and couldn't know -- what would happen. It's only through encountering and experiencing these very negative outcomes that we learn to act and behave differently.
If you're brave enough, you could reach out to your old boss to explain your error and to try to repair that relationship. That could be a very scary but healing experience.
blahbleh112233 t1_j65a06b wrote
100% the boss was fishing for an excuse. Unless they're buddy buddy, you don't randomly ask about your superior's performance without there being an ulterior motive.
I'd advise against contacting her anyways. She's probably looking for a job now and picking up the pieces and there's nothing she can gain from being on good terms with OP. The trust is broken even if OP wasn't malicious considering now he's known to superiors as a blabbermouth.
[deleted] OP t1_j655uv8 wrote
[removed]
Adraestea t1_j6596xv wrote
Well for starters, from what it sounds like, she definitely has long covid. From someone who struggled with long covid for over a year, I can tell you it feels like hell. Your brain is foggy to the point where you have trouble remembering an idea long enough to finish an entire sentence. When I had to read a paragraph, I could barely remember the beginning of the paragraph when I got to the middle of it. I struggled with doing simple math (and I was fine with advanced algebra my entire life) because I simply cannot even remember what I'm doing half way through. At some point I feel like I'm losing my mind.
What the above means is that doing well in a job search is basically impossible. I highly doubt you would be able to present your best foot forward in an interview when you struggle with holding onto ideas. She's probably already stressed enough trying to hang onto her own mind and now you've added more stress to that by putting her through a job search, in this economy.
You may have feel unsupported at your work, and that's frustrating, I get that. But you said yourself this is someone who came in, made improvements, promoted you, and helped improved overall performance. Clearly, she wasn't feeling like herself. Instead of just venting your frustration to her boss, you could have given her more benefit of the doubt and just a few more times to reach out.
But you didn't, you got her fired by going over her head to her boss. You're now "repenting", when your OWN job was at risk. This entire thread is about yourself and you're just looking for sympathy for someone to tell you that it's not your fault, otherwise, why would you not have posted about this when you got her fired, before you realized your own job was at risk?
​
I think you should just own up to the fact that you screwed up and be more considerate next time.
[deleted] OP t1_j659xh2 wrote
[removed]
Adraestea t1_j65d10y wrote
You keep telling yourself that but you're working in a corporate world. This isn't a charity.
You told your boss' boss that your boss isn't performing. How in any way do you expect that to help her? Furthermore, you were explicitly asked by him (the boss' boss) about any issues you may have with her. Are you so naive to think that it is a "positive" sign?
Let's face it, you got frustrated and threw her under the bus, hoping that'd make your life better, without a second thought as to how it may potentially influence hers until it directly impacted yours. If you can't even own up to your selfishness then you'll just do it again in the future. You're still trying to excuse yourself in this case so I don't see any real self reflection going on.
[deleted] OP t1_j65en8c wrote
[removed]
Adraestea t1_j65flan wrote
Okay, "someone" had to deal with them.
If these issues were to remain, and she had gotten better, would she have dealt with them given how she was the one that fixed things initially?
Are there HR resources at your company? I'm not saying to GO to HR, but maybe look at up and see if they have support for Long Covid and other health issues, as a lot of company actually do have those resources. Suggest them to her politely?
​
And sure, even if you WERE to have good intentions by speaking to her boss, does venting EVERYTHING sound like a good idea? Instead of venting about your boss, ask him explicitly to see if there might be more support available in the pipeline without looping your boss in the conversation. There's really no reason to speak about your boss to her boss unless you were trying to get her into trouble. There are multiple ways of presenting the message and you chose the worst one.
[deleted] OP t1_j65ged9 wrote
[removed]
Adraestea t1_j65h61m wrote
Well, hope you learned that people aren't what they seem to be so you can be more cautious in your approach going forward at least.
Either way, it's not really advised behaviour to be that frank about your boss to her boss, it's a bad look in any case. You basically snitched on her, regardless of what your intentions are, and that's just not smart. I'm sure we've all heard of how the saying about snitches go.
Like I said, in the future, if this happens again and you genuinely want to help your boss, don't bring her up in the conversation. Express to him that you're doing your best but the department is lacking resources, and see if there might be alternative solutions involved without bringing others in the conversation. It's corporate 101 really.
gryphmaster t1_j682sfl wrote
At the very least you are only a little younger than me. I would absolutely hate to be your age and as naive and self centered as you. I cannot actually understand reaching that age and being like that. Please do not do this again to other people.
strawberrybannas t1_j66jbf3 wrote
In what ways did you think her supervisor was going to "make it better." Would he have put her in the same stressful position you are in now? I mean come on. Take some time to think. You didn't care at all about the consequences.
thrwayhairbortion t1_j67v0le wrote
In what way was he going to help?
Why do you need so much help doing your job?
What wasn't getting dealt with?
Be specific.
CharDeeMac567 t1_j659iqn wrote
Who told you not to, the shitty manager man? I've been through layoffs and I think it's kind of traumatic to be let go and then not have any interaction with coworkers if you were on friendly terms beforehand.
Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments