olduvai_man t1_j6av9or wrote on January 29, 2023 at 12:35 AM

Reply to comment by [deleted] in TIFU: Said something hateful to my husband by [deleted]

Got it, and I pseudo-understand everyone's side in this,

I've got a disabled kid and have worked two jobs throughout the relationship. It would be easy to get bitter and complain, but my wife has always been there to support me and has helped with the kids. If she came out and told me how she shaped them from a young age, I'd agree!

Keeping score in relationships is a sure-fire way to ensure you will be divorced. It's a partnership, and sometimes one group will give more than the other, but it should even out in the end and both sides should come to an agreement that responsibility has been largely shared and that love supported the remainder.

Perhaps your husband is lazy or didn't contribute (it's impossible to determine without his side), but I'd just drop it and focus on the good things each of you are doing now. The father of your children being proud at his role as a parent is a positive thing some would kill for (unless he truly is a deadbeat).

Hope you two can come together, but this line of thinking is a death sentence for a family.

DJ_Rand t1_j6cfdf0 wrote on January 29, 2023 at 9:43 AM

Agree with you. Furthermore, if someone is happy about something they are doing and just passively saying it such as "I'm providing such awesome stuff for this kiddo." Or "man I've been working hard, it's paying off" never view that as an attack on yourself. Sometimes it's a simple as a person just thinking about what they are doing and being happy about it.

What you don't want to do is tear someone down for doing a good thing. You're better off supporting their decision to do a good thing. Do not take someone providing and doing hard work for granted. This is supposed to go both ways. Build each other up, don't tear each other down.